We Think We're Starting To Get Why Russia Wanted To Do Sexxx Conspiracies With Gross Donald Trump Jr.

HE'S TOTALLY INNOCENT THOUGH

Last Friday, we heard about a new attendee at Donald Trump Jr.'s big exciting Russian conspiracy meeting at Trump Tower, a Russian spy (uh huh "former Russian intelligence officer" LOL no such thing) and hacker named Rinat Ahkmetshin. It's totally normal, when you have a meeting about how it's sad that bouncy Russian babies can't be adopted by Americans, to have a Russian spy/hacker come along, but whatever! Soon after, there were rumblings that somebody ELSE was there. An eighth person! That person has now been identified by the Washington Post . His name is Irakly "Ike" Kaveladze, and surprise, he is a fucking Russian:

An American-based employee of a Russian real estate company took part in a June 2016 Trump Tower meeting between a Russian lawyer and Donald Trump Jr. [...]

Ike Kaveladze’s presence was confirmed by Scott Balber, an attorney for Emin and Aras Agalarov, the Russian developers who hosted the Trump-owned Miss Universe pageant in 2013. Balber said Kaveladze works for the Agalarovs’ company and attended as their representative.

Think Progress notes that Kaveladze is a vice president of the Agalarovs' real estate company, and back in the 1990s, he "was allegedly at the center of a 1.4 BILLION RUSSIAN MONEY LAUNDERING SCHEME," as TP's Judd Legum put it on Twitter. Sounds like a Trump associate to us!

By the way, the WaPo reports that the attorney Balber (who has also represented Trump, according to Think Progress!) got a little phone call from special counsel Robert Mueller's office this weekend, just askin' who the eighth person in the meeting was. Mueller is ON THE FUCKING CASE.

OK, so let's get this straight. Those attending this meeting included 1) TrumpSqueak Junior, 2) Paul Manafort, 3) Jared Kushner, 4) Natalia Veselnitskaya, the Russian lady lawyer, 5) her translator, Anatoli Samochornov, 6) Rob Goldstone, the British music publicist for Russian pop star/business dude Emin Agalarov who facilitated the meeting, 7) that fucking Russian spy, and 8) this FNR ("Fucking New Russian") Ike, who was just there repping for the Agalarovs. Got it? EIGHT PEOPLE. That we know of. So far. Until we find out there were like a thousand other Russian spies there, all piled in together like freshly caught shrimps.

So that is a LOT of Russians to have in a meeting that was just about bouncy Russian babies. (Isn't that what Sean Spicer said it was on Monday?) And it's super weird why a representative of a Russian oligarch who is butt-buddies with Vladimir Putin (Papa Agalarov) would need to be there for that. UNLESS it was really about offering a conspiracy quid pro quo to the Trump campaign in the form of "official documents and information that would incriminate Hillary," as "part of Russia and its government’s support for Mr. Trump." Oh wait, that's what Rob Goldstone said in the email he sent to Junior when he set the meeting up in the first place! We know this because Junior tweeted out the emails, proving his innocence by showing everyone precisely how guilty he is.

A couple things to note here: Natalia Veselnitskaya has been fighting against Russian sanctions for YEARS. She's a crusader against the Magnitsky Act, the repeal of which the  Washington Post  says "is seen in Russia as a first step to ending all sanctions." So, to review, "Repealing Magnitsky Act" is code for "Get Rid Of Sanctions." And talking about American adoptions of Russian babies is code for repealing the Magnitsky Act, because Russia banned those adoptions in retaliation for the passage of the Magnitsky Act.

MEANWHILE! Rinat Akhmetshin, the spy/hacker dude, is an American citizen who has been working as a lobbyist for the purpose of ... GETTING RID OF THE MAGNITSKY ACT, AKA THE SANCTIONS.

MEANWHILE! Aras Agalarov, the oligarch Putin BFF who sent this Ike Kaveladze character to Junior's Russian conspiracy meeting, worked with Daddy Donald to build a Trump Tower Moscow, until that plan ended up in the shitter in 2014 because of ... THE SANCTIONS, according to Rob Goldstone, the music publicist go-between who set up and attended the meeting. The Agalarovs worked with Trump on the Miss Universe 2013 pageant, where Trump may/may not have been videotaped in the throes of a traditional Muscovian Pee Hooker Shower.

Are you getting our drift about what this meeting might have been about? It's almost like they wanted to do conspiracies with the Trump campaign, in exchange for ... GETTING RID OF THE SANCTIONS.

Indeed, if you want to read something really interesting and background-y (that coincidentally features almost all the Russians who attended Junior's Trump Tower Russian Sexxx Orgy), check out this thing The Daily Beast published in May of 2016 about "Putin's Dirty Game in the U.S. Congress." It explains how, ever since the passage of the Magnitsky Act, Russia has been using ITS OWN disabled children as bait to try to get the sanctions lifted. You see, a lot of the bouncy Russian babies adopted by Americans were "kids with Down syndrome and spina bifida," according to a U.S. official quoted by the Daily Beast. So basically Russia's argument here was, "If you repeal that law and lift the sanctions, WE'LL LET OUR OWN KIDS LIVE." Russia is run by really high quality characters.

Rinat Akhmetshin (the spy/hacker/lobbyist) had a hand in setting up an organization in Delaware called the Human Rights Accountability Global Initiative Foundation (a totally #FakeNews kind of name), represented by Natalia Veselnitskaya and Anatoli Samochornov, the "translator" who attended the Trump Tower meeting. (Apparently not just a "translator!") If you'll remember, Veselnitskaya was also a lawyer representing the Russian company Prevezon in the money-laundering case New York U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara was in the process of fucking in the ass when Trump fired him.

We're going to go out on a limb here and say that, on top of Putin's obvious fear and loathing of a Hillary Clinton presidency, we feel like we're starting to get a pretty good grasp on the "tat" Russia wanted in exchange for the "tit" it was offering in helping Donald Trump win the presidency.

And what did disgraced former national security adviser/literal actual foreign agent Michael Flynn tell the Russian ambassador when President Barack Obama confiscated Russian spy mansions in Maryland, kicked Russian diplomats/spies out of the country, and levied new sanctions against Russia for its election meddling? He said , "DO NOT GET MAD! WE WILL TAKE CARE OF THOSE SANCTIONS AFTER THE INAUGURATION!"

And what is Donald Trump doing right now? Oh just giving Russia back the spy mansions Obama stoled and working behind the scenes to get Congress to kill its bipartisan efforts to put new sanctions on Russia. And as we noted, Trump fired that mean lawyer Preet Bharara, who's had Russia's fucking number for a long time.

Is there ANYTHING Donald Trump is doing as president that doesn't look like he's doing Russia's bidding in exchange for them helping him win the 2016 election? NYET. 

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[ Washington Post ]