We Tried To Send These Tabs Without A Headline! Tabs, Tues., Jan. 13, 2026

Because we forgot to think of one!

tabs gifs by Martini Glambassador!

GOOD MORNING!

Minneapolis, St. Paul and the state of Minnesota have sued the shit out of the Department of Homeland Security for its daily terror attacks against the Security of the Twin Cities part of the “Homeland.” [press release]

Oh boo hoo hoo! ICE Nazis and terrorists are reportedly very scared of backlash, now that they’ve started murdering US citizen mommies in the streets and people seem kinda PO-ed about it! So while Nazi Puppykiller Barbie is bragging that she’s going to surge more fed thugs into Minneapolis, sounds like not many fed thugs actually want to volunteer for the assignment. An excerpt:

“There might be some immature knuckleheads who think they are out there trying to capture Nicolas Maduro, but most field officers see a clear need for deescalation,” a high level career official at Homeland Security headquarters in Washington also told me. “There is genuine fear that indeed ICE’s heavy handedness and the rhetoric from Washington is more creating a condition where the officers’ lives are in danger rather than the other way around.”

STAY IN THE STREETS IN EVERY CITY. Obviously don’t do anything to hurt an ICE Nazi! Renee Good certainly didn’t. But stay in the fucking streets and keep telling those losers God never loved them and neither did their dads. [Ken Klippenstein]

Meanwhile, here’s some more highly trained behavior from Donald Trump’s Gestapo:

And here is some more:

Also at Target, here are a bunch of ICE Nazis protecting little Greg Bovino while he does a poopy, if you haven’t seen it. Oh no, is Greg Bovino poop-shy?

And here is Greg Bovino — hopefully after his poopy! — telling Hannity last night that “90 percent” of people actually really love him and ICE, which sounds like one of those things he tells himself in front of the mirror when he’s trying to speak being 5’9” into existence.

@theresistance1789

The Resistance 🗽 on Instagram: ""90% of people are happy to se…

AND here is Bovino also telling Hannity “hats off” to the cowardly bitch who murdered Renee Good, while Hannity proverbially jerks himself off while reciting the Trump Regime White Supremacist Misogynist Lie version of what happened. Also note what a weenus little voice Greg Bovino has. Golly, it is a mystery why he ended up in this line of work, isn’t it?

Secretary Pete “Shitfaced” Hegseth is putting Elon Musk’s Grok inside the Pentagon’s computers. Was he worried the Pentagon’s computers couldn’t make kiddie porn? Oh well, guess they can now. [AP]

Also he committed another war crime. A really, really big one. It’s called “perfidy.” We’ll just add it to his list at The Hague. [New York Times]

Speaking of Shitfaced, Senator Mark Kelly is suing the living shit out of him for trying to go after his Navy retirement, in retaliation for Kelly stating the truth out loud, which is that troops have a DUTY to tell illegal orders from tyrants and their little fluffers to fuck right off. [New York Times]

So … US Attorney Judge Boxwine reportedly was totally freelancing when she decided to go after Jerome Powell, and she’s nah gonna stop [glurg] no matter what you [slurp] say, OSSIFER. [Bloomberg]

The FBI is investigating whether Renee Good was friends with any liberals AKA domestic terrorists, excuse us “Examining Victim’s Possible Ties to Activist Groups,” because this is the Fourth Reich, and that’s what happens in the Fourth Reich. [New York Times]

Meanwhile, bunch of new high-level resignations from the criminal section of the Civil Rights division at DOJ because clownassed hack Harmeet Dhillon, who “leads” the division, refuses to investigate the Minneapolis ICE murderer’s murdering. [MS NOW]

LMAO LOL JAJAJAJA the number two at the Eastern Division of Virginia — AKA where dethroned US Attorney from Baywatch Lindsey Halligan is still squatting, because we guess she’s having trouble processing the fact that she is no longer the US Attorney from Baywatch — just got fired because he is the latest person to laugh in Halligan/DOJ’s face when asked to be part of the joke prosecution of James Comey. [CBS News]

Related, a judge said LMAO LOL JAJAJAJA to Halligan last week, demanding she answer by today why she is still calling herself the US attorney, because, uh, like, she isn’t. Judge David Novak would like to know how is that not a false statement to the court, and why shouldn’t he kick her into the fucking sun, you know, in legal terms. [Axios]

Donald Trump hates Pam Bondi, ‘cause she’s bad and stupid. [Wall Street Journal]

First they did capital controls to the poor immigrants and I didn’t say anything because I was a piece of shit. (Hey, guess who else did this?}

You will never guess who allegedly did the Jackson, Mississippi, synagogue arson, just kidding yes you will. [JoeMyGod]

This is just a very good Daily Show clip:

Finally, still watching all the Diane Keaton movies, and so there is this one from 2013 called The Big Wedding, and it got HORRIBLE reviews, and quite frankly, we think that is very unfair because it is a stupid, silly delight with a ridiculous all-star cast — Keaton, De Niro, Sarandon, Robin Williams, plus Katherine Heigl, Topher Grace, Amanda Seyfried and an absurdly cute Ben Barnes — and you should watch it because shut up, we said so.

It’s fluff. Watch some fluff and be happy Diane Keaton enjoyed doing some fluff from time to time.

OK that’s enough, later.

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