I voted for Malört cocktail, and I have to say I'm not at all disappointed in your creation here. I had a visceral reaction when I read the ingredients list. The sesame oil made me feel instantly queasy. Bravo!!
My friend manages the service bar called Sweeney's Walnut Street Tavern in Columbus and they have a different modified bottle of Malört every month. I think they even have one of those dispensers like you used to see for Jagermeister, but for Malört. The challenge I would like to see is a drink that manages to make Malört taste good.
Last time I was in my former home town, I decided to stop in on a whim at the place that was for many years the diviest dive bar in town, the one that was one block up from the river in a port town, the one that had the meanest drunks and ugliest whores between Charleston and Norfolk. It's still a dive, but the whores are gone and they almost never have fights anymore. I drank a couple of $6 Jack & gingers and listened to the bartender talk about the history of the place. On the way out I noticed there was a bottle of Malört on the back bar. I figure next time I'm down I'll have to stop in and have a shot in what seems to be an appropriate location.
I choked with laughter when I read this. When my siblings & I were kids - like most kids, I'm sure - we'd sometimes get up to no good in the kitchen when mom wasn't around. We'd grab every random ingredient we could find, throw them into a bowl with all the vile liquid on hand & call the result "goop soup." This stuff is R-ra ted goop soup. We'd dare each other to drink it & (almost) always back out. I can't believe anyone actually paid you $ to drink goop soup. Kudos.
We used to do something similar with our school lunch. I know I paid someone $5 to eat mashed potatoes, brown gravy, chocolate milk, and ketchup on a Special-K peanut butter bar. Worth every penny.
I think I got a better deal when my kid would eat a moth if I gave him 50 cents to do it, lol! Not a lot of ingredients but, I don't care how broke I am, I wouldn't eat a moth for 50 cents.
But hear me out...this bottle will be perfectly potable if you use the Cup & Crisp pepperoni.
Oh. you wanted cheap. Come to think of it, cheap Bridgeford is so oily you can skip a step and just empty that red goodness right out of the package...
The great Jon Gries. So likable in Real Genius. Then he basically steals Napoleon Dynamite as Uncle Rico. He’s fun as The Wolfman in The Monster Squad too.
That reminds me of the late, lamented Rongovian Embassy outside of Ithaca, NY. They had a three-drink series on their menu: the Suffering Bastard, the Dying Bastard, and the Dead Bastard.
OMG, the Rongovian Embassy in Trumansburg! During my brief half-year in Ithaca, I went there many times. A wonderful place. In fact, while I didn't last in NY much past the first few snowfalls, I was sorely tempted to stick around by an offer made by someone at the Embassy for me to stay on and work the vineyards the following year.
All three were composed by a bartender working at the Hotel Cairo during WWII. His customers wanted tiki drinks, but he had none of the “right” ingredients and made do. He was hired by Trader Vic after the war. The sequel drunks start to resemble a Long Island Iced Tea after a while.
If it has fluff in it, it needs to find its way to the Fluff Festival, held annually in Union Square, Somerville, Massachusetts (right next to My Less and Less Fair City), where Fluff was invented. More information is available at https://www.flufffestival.com/.
I don't like Underberg but don't hate it, but my brother, for example, recoils just from the thought. He had a taste of it once, and that did it for him.
Now, Malört hits entirely different notes but it elicits the same type of reactions.
Armour brand pepperoni is the cheapest on the market. It’s not only cheaper than Hormel, it’s cheaper than that Great Value house brand they sell at Walmart. If you’re looking for cheap, it’s the way to go.
Is it causing her pain? I get things like that elsewhere and my dermatologist will biopsy them. Most have been nothing, some have been squamous cell carcinoma. Do they have veterinary dermatologists?
Remember your childhood? Remember how soda used to taste? Ewoks and bubblegum. seventh-grade crushes and long summer evenings. Wasn't everything so much better? Remember your first love? Before the Job and Family you hate, before everything got so hard. Remember Saturday morning cartoons and the smell of a new plastic toy?
Too bad he didn't ask Joey how long he has had his lips stuck to the Tangerine Toddler's ass. I really wish MSNBC would get rid of Scarborough. He should be on Faux News or one of the other stupid conservative news channels.
Ta, Hooper, Happy Halloween y un feliz Día de los Muertos. Vegan here, so no. Adorable and adored husband Meccalopolis conveyed us safely to the pied-à-nuage, where we dined on vegan dashi ramen with a gummy for dessert. Good night, beloved Wonketteers. I love and appreciate you all and I bless us all with love, health, peace, and grace. Be kind, especially to yourself, and please, please stay safe.
When you send your next payment to your health insurer, no matter what they say your new premium is, make the payment only $1.08 more than your current one. Enclose a note to the effect that Dr. Oz, the administrator for the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services, said your premium is going up only $13 a year, and $13 divided by 12 monthly payments is $1.08 extra. That should satisfy them, unless they want to call their boss a liar.
So far, I’ve sold five shots of WORSE at the bar. They all liked it. I am simultaneously a success and a failure. Questions here.
I voted for Malört cocktail, and I have to say I'm not at all disappointed in your creation here. I had a visceral reaction when I read the ingredients list. The sesame oil made me feel instantly queasy. Bravo!!
I may actually try to make this.
My friend manages the service bar called Sweeney's Walnut Street Tavern in Columbus and they have a different modified bottle of Malört every month. I think they even have one of those dispensers like you used to see for Jagermeister, but for Malört. The challenge I would like to see is a drink that manages to make Malört taste good.
Last time I was in my former home town, I decided to stop in on a whim at the place that was for many years the diviest dive bar in town, the one that was one block up from the river in a port town, the one that had the meanest drunks and ugliest whores between Charleston and Norfolk. It's still a dive, but the whores are gone and they almost never have fights anymore. I drank a couple of $6 Jack & gingers and listened to the bartender talk about the history of the place. On the way out I noticed there was a bottle of Malört on the back bar. I figure next time I'm down I'll have to stop in and have a shot in what seems to be an appropriate location.
I choked with laughter when I read this. When my siblings & I were kids - like most kids, I'm sure - we'd sometimes get up to no good in the kitchen when mom wasn't around. We'd grab every random ingredient we could find, throw them into a bowl with all the vile liquid on hand & call the result "goop soup." This stuff is R-ra ted goop soup. We'd dare each other to drink it & (almost) always back out. I can't believe anyone actually paid you $ to drink goop soup. Kudos.
We used to do something similar with our school lunch. I know I paid someone $5 to eat mashed potatoes, brown gravy, chocolate milk, and ketchup on a Special-K peanut butter bar. Worth every penny.
I think I got a better deal when my kid would eat a moth if I gave him 50 cents to do it, lol! Not a lot of ingredients but, I don't care how broke I am, I wouldn't eat a moth for 50 cents.
Ummm, I think I'll stick to Screwdrivers. Well vodka is fine.
Downstream we were discussing prahok, Cambodian fermented fish paste, your drink sounds like the perfect accompaniment
But hear me out...this bottle will be perfectly potable if you use the Cup & Crisp pepperoni.
Oh. you wanted cheap. Come to think of it, cheap Bridgeford is so oily you can skip a step and just empty that red goodness right out of the package...
That is in fact the brand I used.
Ha. It's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear "cheap pepperoni".
NOPE.
100%
And not just cause as a vegetarian I did not expect a meat drink outside of an octopus tentacle cocktail...
"Then I am happy and sad for you."
--Lazlo Hollyfeld
The great Jon Gries. So likable in Real Genius. Then he basically steals Napoleon Dynamite as Uncle Rico. He’s fun as The Wolfman in The Monster Squad too.
This makes me especially nervous for whenever you post recipes for cocktails WORSER and WORSTEST.
That reminds me of the late, lamented Rongovian Embassy outside of Ithaca, NY. They had a three-drink series on their menu: the Suffering Bastard, the Dying Bastard, and the Dead Bastard.
OMG, the Rongovian Embassy in Trumansburg! During my brief half-year in Ithaca, I went there many times. A wonderful place. In fact, while I didn't last in NY much past the first few snowfalls, I was sorely tempted to stick around by an offer made by someone at the Embassy for me to stay on and work the vineyards the following year.
All three were composed by a bartender working at the Hotel Cairo during WWII. His customers wanted tiki drinks, but he had none of the “right” ingredients and made do. He was hired by Trader Vic after the war. The sequel drunks start to resemble a Long Island Iced Tea after a while.
If he ever does a variation on WORST or WORSTEST, it will need to include Worcestershire sauce. Like a Black Samurai, only Zombie Apocalypse style.
WORSTEST shoud probably contain Fluff at some point.
Now...WURSTEST? I could get with a cocktail that includes sausage. But NOT Vienna Sausage.
If it has fluff in it, it needs to find its way to the Fluff Festival, held annually in Union Square, Somerville, Massachusetts (right next to My Less and Less Fair City), where Fluff was invented. More information is available at https://www.flufffestival.com/.
Vienna sausages are the canned clams of the meat world.
If it's worse, going bad in the refrigerator would be an improvement. It would be an example of "going from worse to bad."
You glaze sausages with liquor. That makes sense. But this?
"12 shakes Angostura bitters"
I love Angostura, but, like, this is kinda scary.
All that and it’s the Ango that scares you?
I’m not really scared of strong liquor with a very strong herbal flavor.
Malört kind of reminds me of Underberg in some ways but it’s its own weird combination of herbal notes that a lot of people cannot stomach.
I like Underberg, never even seen Malort ansd I used to manage the upstairs bar at the French market.
I don't like Underberg but don't hate it, but my brother, for example, recoils just from the thought. He had a taste of it once, and that did it for him.
Now, Malört hits entirely different notes but it elicits the same type of reactions.
"I am simultaneously a success and a failure."
The balance of the cosmos is maintained. No bartender could want anything more or less.
"From a regrettable choice into the devil’s own train wreck."
I love your prose, Hooper.
I’d hit it.
Welcome to Ohio.
If I brought a seabird in for this drink, I would be taking a tern for the worse.
You had me at pepperoni.
Happy Caturday and laundry day, Wonketariat!
This just in: According to industry group Potatoes USA "Potatoes are naturally fun." This in response to potatoes trending as a Halloween handout.
Armour brand pepperoni is the cheapest on the market. It’s not only cheaper than Hormel, it’s cheaper than that Great Value house brand they sell at Walmart. If you’re looking for cheap, it’s the way to go.
How can the destruction of a country not be something that has consequences ?
Gee this is a scary night . . .
I posted a picture of the lesion in Hippolyta's mouth if anyone has any ideas or knows who I could show it to.
https://substack.com/@mormos
Is it causing her pain? I get things like that elsewhere and my dermatologist will biopsy them. Most have been nothing, some have been squamous cell carcinoma. Do they have veterinary dermatologists?
Remember your childhood? Remember how soda used to taste? Ewoks and bubblegum. seventh-grade crushes and long summer evenings. Wasn't everything so much better? Remember your first love? Before the Job and Family you hate, before everything got so hard. Remember Saturday morning cartoons and the smell of a new plastic toy?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wckNsDMdVpo
Xemnu remembers
Seth Moulton may be a conservative Democrat, but dayum.
https://xcancel.com/atrupar/status/1984310561803247851?s=61&t=d57_wdu2mp3jUpQgi28A5Q
MOULTON: If you're one of the people, like Trump, who took advantage of young girls with Jeffrey Epstein--
SCARBOROUGH: We don't have evidence that he took advantage of young girls with Epstein
MOULTON: Right. Common sense be damned
SCARBOROUGH: Let's look at the facts. Is he in the Epstein files?
MOULTON: He's obviously in the Epstein files
SCARBOROUGH: You have absolutely no evidence that he took advantage of young girls
MOULTON: I think it's pretty obvious
Too bad he didn't ask Joey how long he has had his lips stuck to the Tangerine Toddler's ass. I really wish MSNBC would get rid of Scarborough. He should be on Faux News or one of the other stupid conservative news channels.
lol. I remember the Malort discussion from 5 years ago. I recall it being described as bitter, like chewing aspirin.
I’ll stand by that. It’s not quite as dry, but just as bitter. The Regrettable Tattoo is on the menu at Hemingway’s.
Ta, Hooper, Happy Halloween y un feliz Día de los Muertos. Vegan here, so no. Adorable and adored husband Meccalopolis conveyed us safely to the pied-à-nuage, where we dined on vegan dashi ramen with a gummy for dessert. Good night, beloved Wonketteers. I love and appreciate you all and I bless us all with love, health, peace, and grace. Be kind, especially to yourself, and please, please stay safe.
Slava Ukraini. 🌻🇺🇦💙💛
To everyone whose ACA premium skyrockets:
When you send your next payment to your health insurer, no matter what they say your new premium is, make the payment only $1.08 more than your current one. Enclose a note to the effect that Dr. Oz, the administrator for the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services, said your premium is going up only $13 a year, and $13 divided by 12 monthly payments is $1.08 extra. That should satisfy them, unless they want to call their boss a liar.
That's a good idea, except those bastards wouldn't say a thing until you went to the doctor and they refuse your claim.
Once again, our breakrooms will be flooded with leftover Halloween candy. It will be a similar situation before the turn of the year.
The horrors of employment.
Candy is very bid during the colder months. Just change the packaging.
Jungle Rot- Population Suicide live. Brutal, tight and short. Love this band.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAzSMK290DE&pp=ygUWanVuZ2xlIHJvdCBzdWljZGUgbGl2ZQ%3D%3D