Mezcal? Malort? Geez, you are out of my league here, or at least the northern half of my state, Hoop! I did find (you'd never guess!) some Mount Gay, and a dusty old bottle of Mexican cola. And, I am never limeless! So, with a tip of the hat to Tiger Woods, who, there but for the talent, the money, the car, the insobriety, go I..... Skol!...
We're in the liquor store. They're taste-testing Dulce Vida. Someone recommended Corrido and Teremana. Do know anything about these? The Dulce Vida was surprisingly drinkable.
One of those weeks when I am grateful to be a liquor voyeur. Nevertheless, it’s always good to see Hooperday roll around. It’s the slow exhale after a week of short, tight sips of air in a chest held too tightly. He is the priest who intones, “Let us breathe…”
Now I envision myself in a diaphanous gown running through a meadow graced with buttercups, with a pride of a hundred kitties. Thanks. My week is complete.
I would be that person sitting at the barpicking it apart into a pile of petals, and then asking the person next to me if they’re gonna eat that flower 🌼 …
I've been a tennis fan for a minute and have been an especial fangirl on the men's side of the glory days of the Federer-Nadal rivalry; the type who remembers the suit Rafa wore to accept the Principe de Asturias award & who remembers Tom Ford made Roger's wedding tux.
I remember the 2013 Indian Wells Masters 1000. I remember that Rafa beat Juan Martin del Potro, another favorite of mine, in an incredibly exciting Men's Final -- but I remember the MOST that Rafa wore some of the most terrible-looking plaid NIke shorts in the history of Nike shorts, perhaps in the history of tennis kits (saving, of course, the year Adidas put all its athletes in some variation on zebra stripes).
Those shorts were TERRIBLE. Rafans were all in agreement. The wrong plaid, the wrong shade of mud-brown -- everything about them was awful -- but what made it worst was that they were on such an attractive man and our champion!
lol
Although the shade of the cocktail is very pretty & I am especially enamored of the floral garnish?
My eldest daughter gets an enormous kick out of the fact that one of her mother's old-school kinks is low budget martial arts films. That rather dubious hobby all too likely stems from my deep and abiding affection for Bruce Lee. For all of his flaws I found the man to be an appropriately fierce inspiration.
I thought it was either him or Sonny Chiba. But Dennis is my Kung-Fu friend. He can answer those questions off the top of his head. So sorry I didnt know immediately.
Unless otherwise noted, the movie starts at 21:00 Eastern / 20:00 Central / 19:00 Mountain / 18:00 Pacific. And the article for the movie goes up an hour before that.
I mean, Ya gotta use up that peanut butter stuff somehow. I’ve got a case of Trinidad rum to work through because they’re giving us some nice tiki mugs. You do what yo gotta do.
I got ambushed by Pimms once. I was two thirds down the bottle before one of my friends told me what the ABV was. I woke up in an orchard. I missed a fucking hog roast. I was pissed in every sense of the word.
Decided to run the self-cleaning oven today, because it's a cool, breezy day and need to have the windows open. This is the first oven I've ever had that is self-cleaning and I've only self-cleaned it 3 times. Damn - why can't they make a self-cleaning house? Turn it on and leave for the day!
So Frump wants to reallocate military resources from Ukraine to Iran. Now the press keep reporting that Putin has severely criticized the war in Iran and offered intel to Iran, etc., but why do I have this sneaking suspicion that he is working in the shadows? He's very good at that.
Not engaged? Hell, I'm not sure they're even going steady.
"In a separate instance Thursday, the crowd again did not know when or how to cheer. In a conversation with White House border czar Tom Homan, CPAC host Melody Schlapp asked how Trump immigration policies compared to the “Biden years.”
Waiting for a reaction, Schlapp paused and turned her head to the crowd. She was met with silence.
“I’m not hearing a boo when I say Joe Biden, people! Come on! We do audience participation here!”
🚨 BREAKING: Potomac TRACON, the key radar facility handling D.C. airspace, has been evacuated to “ATC ZERO” according to FAA alerts. The FAA is now implementing ground stops for flights to Reagan National, Dulles, BWI, Charlottesville and Richmond airports.
cnn
From Wikipedia: ATC Zero (Air Traffic Control Zero) is an official term used by the U.S. Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) that means the FAA is unable to safely provide the published air traffic control (ATC) services within the airspace managed by a specific facility.
With Trump's endless rants about "water pressure" and "plumbing" (because the results of his constipation won't flush and/or his documents won't flush?) it was not a surprise that Trump picked MarkMarkWayneWayne Mullah to be the head of DHS.
MarkMark was "plumber-adjacent" in his former, pre-Congress life (his father had a plumbing business which MarkMark took over). That is his *sole* qualification (if you can call it that) for the job. MarkMark could get the toilets to flush on time. Do you feel safer now?
I wish all the politicians and FBI directors were smart enough to use a secured email server, like Hillary Clinton, instead of using a trashy ass free Gmail account. I want them to do better at retaining records than me shopping with a throwaway at a sketchy online market. Amen.
Fuck CVS. I'm trying to speak to a pharmacist who fucked up my prescription, but I have to deal with a fucking "virtual assistant" who is a shambling fucking moron, and when I'm finally able to convince that fucker that I want to talk to an actual human being, she tells me she's transferring me to a pharmacist, and then the fucking system hangs up on me. Three times. So I called and asked for the store, and a human finally answered, but can't transfer me to the pharmacy because "they can't do that anymore." Again, FUCK CVS.
Rollins: "Rural America—we are your people sir. From that moment he came down the golden escalator… I want everyone to get to their feet and thank him for what he has done…"
"I don't know officer... we were all just enjoying our Chica Chida and this person ran through the bar shouting "RANDOM RANDOM! PAGING RANDOM!! It was all so... random..."
Not applicable — you can't kill what runs on pure spite and reader donations
TIME UNTIL DEATH
Outlives us all, cockroach-style
EULOGY
"Here lies Wonkette — not a SaaS company, not a startup, not a platform, but a blog that simply refused to die since 2004. It survived Gawker's implosion, the pivot to video, the pivot away from video, and approximately 47 democratic emergencies. You can't replace a voice with a template, and you certainly can't replicate whatever they're putting in the coffee over there."
LAST WORDS
"We're not even a SaaS company, you absolute walnut. We're a BLOG. Go analyze Salesforce."
Questions and complaints go here.
I suggested you might invent a new drink earlier, The Hegseth.
My knees hurt.
Same.
Ok more questions
Why do my knees hurt?
It's because your knees are full of circa 1990's alien worms.
You can say it was from the '67 Rose Bowl protecting the lead.
But we all know you're just old. Like mee.
This is a question AND a complaint.
Why dont they do a remake of Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo?
It writes itself for crying out loud!!!!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=l53Q1UXk2DE
😂🤣😂
Thanks. How did I miss that?
My ask is Spaceballs II The search for more money.
Id love to see Rick Moranis in a movie again. But without Jon Candy. It wont be the same film.
Baconz may take a " soft pass" on SpaceBalls 2
His best bit.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bYUrc2gapf0
Mezcal? Malort? Geez, you are out of my league here, or at least the northern half of my state, Hoop! I did find (you'd never guess!) some Mount Gay, and a dusty old bottle of Mexican cola. And, I am never limeless! So, with a tip of the hat to Tiger Woods, who, there but for the talent, the money, the car, the insobriety, go I..... Skol!...
Complaints? The worst complaint I can imagine for a cocktail is “What else ya got?”
We're in the liquor store. They're taste-testing Dulce Vida. Someone recommended Corrido and Teremana. Do know anything about these? The Dulce Vida was surprisingly drinkable.
Dulce Vida is great. Teremana has a heavy mineral taste, like it was made with well water. Haven’t tried Corrido.
One of those weeks when I am grateful to be a liquor voyeur. Nevertheless, it’s always good to see Hooperday roll around. It’s the slow exhale after a week of short, tight sips of air in a chest held too tightly. He is the priest who intones, “Let us breathe…”
"Nevertheless, it’s always good to see Hooperday roll around. "
I would like to second this, enthusiastically
Lovely.
Now I envision myself in a diaphanous gown running through a meadow graced with buttercups, with a pride of a hundred kitties. Thanks. My week is complete.
I absolutely love the garnish!
I would be that person sitting at the barpicking it apart into a pile of petals, and then asking the person next to me if they’re gonna eat that flower 🌼 …
Hahahhaha!
“What about you? Did you want that flower?”
Love you, man, but this made my eyes water.
I've been a tennis fan for a minute and have been an especial fangirl on the men's side of the glory days of the Federer-Nadal rivalry; the type who remembers the suit Rafa wore to accept the Principe de Asturias award & who remembers Tom Ford made Roger's wedding tux.
I remember the 2013 Indian Wells Masters 1000. I remember that Rafa beat Juan Martin del Potro, another favorite of mine, in an incredibly exciting Men's Final -- but I remember the MOST that Rafa wore some of the most terrible-looking plaid NIke shorts in the history of Nike shorts, perhaps in the history of tennis kits (saving, of course, the year Adidas put all its athletes in some variation on zebra stripes).
Those shorts were TERRIBLE. Rafans were all in agreement. The wrong plaid, the wrong shade of mud-brown -- everything about them was awful -- but what made it worst was that they were on such an attractive man and our champion!
lol
Although the shade of the cocktail is very pretty & I am especially enamored of the floral garnish?
This feels a little like that
Do you wish you were in Tijuana, eatin’ barbecued iguana?
Or would you rather be a fish?
Wait, I think I may have gotten my earworms crossed.
Question:
Has Wonkette chosen the movie for tomorrow yet?
I treat Wonk Movie nights like Chilly Billy or Elvira on UHF channels (shit...I just aged myself).
It was ALWAYS great watching a Grind-House or crap horror movie on Saturday nights.
Zigs is usually about a month ahead in picking them out.
https://www.wonkmovie.com/ is your friend.
I believe it's 'Drunken Master,' a fun kung fu film.
Actually prefer Drunken Master 2 probably because bonus Ti Lung and a rather splendid fight underneath a train.
It’s been a looonnnng time since I watched that.
My eldest daughter gets an enormous kick out of the fact that one of her mother's old-school kinks is low budget martial arts films. That rather dubious hobby all too likely stems from my deep and abiding affection for Bruce Lee. For all of his flaws I found the man to be an appropriately fierce inspiration.
He was also pretty damned hot, if I'm honest.
Maybe we should arrange a marriage between her and Baconz Jr (he loves Godzilla films...."not the new ones though Daddy")
This Family's love for low budget films is unsurpassed. A Bruce Campbell doll is next a crucifix on top of our fire place.
(Jesus....I wish that was a joke).
Is in her 20's or early 30s?
I'm afraid that her husband would object to that.
So would I, actually. This is her third marriage and I'd really prefer it not end in ANOTHER messy divorce.
[cue perturbed voice from the void, "Oh Mom!"]
“…at least get a biodata before you make a rush decision.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWqY8qrBBSI&list=RDdWqY8qrBBSI&start_radio=1
Jackie Chan isnt it?
It sure as shit is.
I thought it was either him or Sonny Chiba. But Dennis is my Kung-Fu friend. He can answer those questions off the top of his head. So sorry I didnt know immediately.
Oh sweet.
EDIT: what time is that happening?
Unless otherwise noted, the movie starts at 21:00 Eastern / 20:00 Central / 19:00 Mountain / 18:00 Pacific. And the article for the movie goes up an hour before that.
I think 9 PM Eastern Time, but you may want to query the staff. I think the schedule's somewhere about, maybe Tabz.
Oh I'll be there like stink on a monkey.
Usually 9PM (EDT)
Oh, that is so cheery and pretty! I would wear it on my head as a fascinator. But I would never drink anything with peanut butter flavour in it. Yech.
With all due respect my friend, but what in the actual fuck?
The Malort is a nice touch, though. I'll give you that ;)
I now almost feel obligated to atone for the aspersions I cast against Malort in the previous thread.
SHAME on me...
I mean, Ya gotta use up that peanut butter stuff somehow. I’ve got a case of Trinidad rum to work through because they’re giving us some nice tiki mugs. You do what yo gotta do.
You can bang a whole bunch of fruit in them and do fake Pimms.
I thought that was a gin-based drink.
I got ambushed by Pimms once. I was two thirds down the bottle before one of my friends told me what the ABV was. I woke up in an orchard. I missed a fucking hog roast. I was pissed in every sense of the word.
That's totally fair. I used to give out shots of blackberry brandy as punishment for naughty customers.
Blackberry brandy is what we call back home in NEPA "Polish penicillin." It is pretty good as a substitute cough syrup.
Good in tea.
Tough but fair on a cold day or any day..
It's like spanking; some of them liked it, so for them I played my secret* marching band CD on the jukebox.
#72 had the cover for Tori Amos Under The Pink, but the cd was the UW marching band ;)
"Discard any remaining Malort."
LOL
I thought the next step after that would be, Throw the glass away.
Mal = bad, ort= scrap, bit
"Peanut Butter Agave Spirit"
*record scratch sound effect*
I love me some peanut butter, but yeah, no. Peanut Butter does not belong in a cocktail.
"I bet you are wondering how I ended up fucking this cactus... well, it all started in this bar..."
Goes down crunchy.
Comes up smooth, I hope.
My question is, “Why?”
Same.
Life during wartime, baby. Got some tequila. Peanut butter spirits. Could last a couple of days...
I assume so you don't have to add your own peanut butter to the drink.
The drink actually sounds pretty good, and the presentation is beautiful. Well done!
These shoes make my feet look big.
(Oh! You meant about the drink!)
😂😂😂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8gzop-4QTM&list=RDsdzejjutY-4&index=3
It's still a damn good question, dead though Chris Cornell might be.
Ask yourself this question and then ask youself- how do we fix this?
Decided to run the self-cleaning oven today, because it's a cool, breezy day and need to have the windows open. This is the first oven I've ever had that is self-cleaning and I've only self-cleaned it 3 times. Damn - why can't they make a self-cleaning house? Turn it on and leave for the day!
So Frump wants to reallocate military resources from Ukraine to Iran. Now the press keep reporting that Putin has severely criticized the war in Iran and offered intel to Iran, etc., but why do I have this sneaking suspicion that he is working in the shadows? He's very good at that.
Singer Junior Parker was born on this day in 1932. Here he is fronting Little Junior's Blue Flames, singing "Feelin' Good" from 1953 on Sun Records:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOj-sJg--sw
And here he is in 1974 performing his song "Mystery Train":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mA8iToyblns
Not engaged? Hell, I'm not sure they're even going steady.
"In a separate instance Thursday, the crowd again did not know when or how to cheer. In a conversation with White House border czar Tom Homan, CPAC host Melody Schlapp asked how Trump immigration policies compared to the “Biden years.”
Waiting for a reaction, Schlapp paused and turned her head to the crowd. She was met with silence.
“I’m not hearing a boo when I say Joe Biden, people! Come on! We do audience participation here!”
https://newrepublic.com/post/208293/cpac-attendees-confused-cheer-trump-impeachment
🚨 BREAKING: Potomac TRACON, the key radar facility handling D.C. airspace, has been evacuated to “ATC ZERO” according to FAA alerts. The FAA is now implementing ground stops for flights to Reagan National, Dulles, BWI, Charlottesville and Richmond airports.
cnn
From Wikipedia: ATC Zero (Air Traffic Control Zero) is an official term used by the U.S. Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) that means the FAA is unable to safely provide the published air traffic control (ATC) services within the airspace managed by a specific facility.
I could see the Iranians planting a virus when the Senators are leaving town.
Oh good lord.
WTF?
With Trump's endless rants about "water pressure" and "plumbing" (because the results of his constipation won't flush and/or his documents won't flush?) it was not a surprise that Trump picked MarkMarkWayneWayne Mullah to be the head of DHS.
MarkMark was "plumber-adjacent" in his former, pre-Congress life (his father had a plumbing business which MarkMark took over). That is his *sole* qualification (if you can call it that) for the job. MarkMark could get the toilets to flush on time. Do you feel safer now?
Markwayne needs a plumber because he's constipated from the nose up.
Epstein Victims SUE Trump's DOJ!
Glenn Kirschner (9:47) : https://youtu.be/2jOL8vIsmtU
Update: I could not finish watching this. I have to go break something now.
I wish all the politicians and FBI directors were smart enough to use a secured email server, like Hillary Clinton, instead of using a trashy ass free Gmail account. I want them to do better at retaining records than me shopping with a throwaway at a sketchy online market. Amen.
Birb rode the birbcycle today.
It was a 20-minute ride. She felt nice.
She will have to pump up the front tire. It felt crunchy.
Now, her tummy is full of ramen. She took the bike ride at 5:00 and ate at 7:15.
She has had a good day today.
tweep!
Chirp chirp :)
Fuck CVS. I'm trying to speak to a pharmacist who fucked up my prescription, but I have to deal with a fucking "virtual assistant" who is a shambling fucking moron, and when I'm finally able to convince that fucker that I want to talk to an actual human being, she tells me she's transferring me to a pharmacist, and then the fucking system hangs up on me. Three times. So I called and asked for the store, and a human finally answered, but can't transfer me to the pharmacy because "they can't do that anymore." Again, FUCK CVS.
Does hitting zero - zero - zero not work? It's always worth a try.
Can you furiously pound 0 until a pharmacist answers? If not, change and let them know why.
Stones - Think
https://youtu.be/2JXyuhEkhHw?si=APwlq7tXVHyZXmok
Sometimes I think Aftermath is their best album.
Rollins: "Rural America—we are your people sir. From that moment he came down the golden escalator… I want everyone to get to their feet and thank him for what he has done…"
Why would Henry Rollins say that?
He wouldn't spit on them if they were on fire...
RANDOM! PAGING RANDOM! RANDOM TO THE WHITE COURTESY PHONE PLEASE!
"I don't know officer... we were all just enjoying our Chica Chida and this person ran through the bar shouting "RANDOM RANDOM! PAGING RANDOM!! It was all so... random..."
"he wasn't even wearing pants!"
Oh he never wears pants... that's not new.
I let him know he has been paged!
Cool, I've just got a bit of time and want to help him with his resume.
In 2026 America, ALL the courtesy phones are white.
What is this?
I don't know. It's funny and good.
https://deathbyclawd.com/?url=wonkette.com
Look at it now.
Death Certificate
DECEASED
wonkette.com
CAUSE OF DEATH
Not applicable — you can't kill what runs on pure spite and reader donations
TIME UNTIL DEATH
Outlives us all, cockroach-style
EULOGY
"Here lies Wonkette — not a SaaS company, not a startup, not a platform, but a blog that simply refused to die since 2004. It survived Gawker's implosion, the pivot to video, the pivot away from video, and approximately 47 democratic emergencies. You can't replace a voice with a template, and you certainly can't replicate whatever they're putting in the coffee over there."
LAST WORDS
"We're not even a SaaS company, you absolute walnut. We're a BLOG. Go analyze Salesforce."
Wow.
That is odd.
Told ya.