Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Strawberry Margarita!

Fresh strawberries and top-notch tequila? Sign me up.

Easily one of the prettier drinks I’ve made.

Greetings, Wonketeers! I was recently gifted with a very nice bottle of tequila. Nice tequila inevitably leads to excellent margaritas, so here’s my upscale take on a classic boat drink. This cocktail’s normally full of artificial sweeteners and additives, but my all-natural version is miles better. Time to make a fantastic Strawberry Margarita. Here’s the recipe:

Strawberry Margarita

1 ½ oz LALO blanco tequila

1 oz honey syrup

1 oz Cointreau

¾ oz fresh lime juice

3 large ripe strawberries, cored and sliced

1 basil leaf

2-3 dashes rhubarb bitters

Pinch of sea salt

Sugar for rimming

Place the strawberries, basil, and honey syrup into a mixing tin. Muddle thoroughly, crushing the fruit into a pulp. Add tequila, lime juice, Cointreau, bitters, and salt. Shake for 15 seconds. Strain into a rocks glass filled with crushed ice and rimmed with sugar. Garnish with a strawberry slice and lime wedge.

First things first: LALO Tequila reached out to me and asked me to write a recipe featuring their product. They sent me a bottle to work with, but they aren’t paying me. After tasting their tequila and researching their product, I’m happy to say that I’m buying a second bottle for my own liquor cabinet ASAP. This is the cleanest, most refreshing blanco tequila I’ve ever tasted.

A little research into LALO told me why the tequila’s so good: They only use well water, champagne yeast, and agave in their bottle. No “natural flavors and colors,” aka additives. This is becoming an increasingly rare find in tequila. The Mexican government has decided that distillers can label a tequila “100% blue agave” when it’s only 99 percent agave. Sounds all right, but chemists can make a lot of mischief with that one percent. Glycerine, caramel color, and sweeteners alter the flavor and texture of adulterated tequila. It’s a cheat that makes mediocre tequila taste good.

Unsurprisingly, the company responsible for the Devil’s Armpit Squeezings, Jose Cuervo, has thoughts on the matter. Also unsurprisingly, they are bad thoughts. Lander Otegui, senior vice president of marketing at Jose Cuervo, recently put out a statement saying, “The additive-free movement is something that we believe, as it is today, something that is inaccurate and it’s probably damaging the category more than it’s helping.” Sure, pal.

Needless to say, Jose Cuervo’s products are not additive-free. Their core product isn’t pure agave; that’s why it isn’t labeled “blanco” or “reposado” tequila. Best guess is that it’s 51 percent tequila and 48 percent ... stuff. Maybe additives. Maybe cheap rum. No way to know. They do make a “Traditional” line, which is 100 percent agave … but we know that that means there can be one percent something else in the bottle, and there’s no reason to think that Cuervo isn’t milking that one percent for all it’s worth.

Want to find the good stuff? Download the Tequila Matchmaker to your phone. Scarlet and Grover have ceaselessly promoted and celebrated great tequila for years. They’re worth supporting, especially when American tariffs incentivize tequila makers to cut corners.

Let’s talk ingredients:

Ingredient shot. Tastes as good as it looks.

LALO Blanco tequila: LALO has a very light, refreshing note on the front of the palate reminiscent of cucumber. It’s a glorious sipper that proves you don’t need glycerine to make tequila “smooth.” This tequila lends itself to fruit flavors beautifully.

Honey syrup: Honey and water mixed together, 1:1 ratio. I usually pour an ounce of honey and water into a glass and microwave it for 30 seconds.

Cointreau: I generally use a cheaper triple sec in my margaritas, but I felt that the LALO tequila deserved the top-shelf treatment.

Fresh lime juice: I think it’s pretty clear that all-natural ingredients are best in this tequila. Plastic limes, plastic juice. You know the drill.

Fresh strawberries: I played with ingredients like strawberry jam and port wine before realizing that ripe fruit would provide all the color and flavor I needed. Don’t skip on the muddling here. You want the fruit to be mush in the shaker.

Basil: Basil is so good with strawberries, and plays into the herbaceous notes in the tequila. One good-sized leaf is all you need.

Rhubarb bitters: They need to be hunted down, but rhubarb bitters are the best when it comes to fruit drinks of all sorts. At the bar, I’ll toss a few drops into a glass of Sprite with some fruit for a shift drink.

Sea salt: I prefer to toss a little salt right into my margarita instead of salting the rim. In this drink, the salt moderates the sugar levels and provides balance.

In summary and conclusion, drink well, drink often, and tip your bartender — donate to Wonkette at the link below!

Wonkette one-time donation!

We aren’t linking to Amazon anymore, because fuck Bezos with a rusty bar spoon. Go read Tequila!: A Natural and Cultural History by Ana G. Valenzuela-Zapata and Gary Paul Nabhan instead. One of LALO’s founders is Eduardo “Lalo” González, the grandson of Don Julio González. Yes, THAT “Don Julio” — Don Julio and Jose Cuervo were real people. Give their story a read.

You can find me on Bluesky at @samuraigrog!

OPEN THREAD! DRINK!