2110 Comments
User's avatar
Matthew Hooper's avatar

Working. Questions here.

Wookiee Monster's avatar

Will the Punxsutawney Phil see his shadow on Monday?

Terence Dougherty's avatar

Ever notice Rarly S ok ring and 6 More Weeks of Winter are the same thing?

DV Thrombossa Nova's avatar

Safety meeting on a Country music tour bus is something one has to experience to believe.

tehbaddr's avatar
4hEdited

“Cut Through The Gunfire”, I used to make a drink like that with Alexi vodka, Tang, a fun sized Mounds bar, then stirred with a Sugar Daddy!

Uncle Betamax's avatar

Tang? Orc medicine. :P

tehbaddr's avatar

It's a secret ingredient, no sane bartender would use it!

Khavrinen's avatar

But allegedly chefs in Chinese take-out restaurants would:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqWTPIzB730

tehbaddr's avatar

Well I'll be...!

Goin Green's avatar

That recipe looks like the tombstones in a medieval cemetery. Are you sure that's booze and not some Lord of the Rings potiony shit?

tehbaddr's avatar

It's made with real Hobbits!

Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

Whoa, Hoop! We stood out in the cold on the street corner in Cheboygan with our signs, and then we went to The Hive for hot Black Madonna mead and chocolate to warm up. I'm telling you, it was like the Crochett House at Christmas! Now that I've come home, I'm wondering why you didn't just use Mt. Gay, a very servicible alternative? In fact, come to think of it, I'll have one now, with just a little ice and a slice of lime! Skol!...

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Boy, that must be fun playing with all those cocktails; what an interesting recipe post!

BigBoppa AKA Masto♾️Don's avatar

If you don’t have sage and Malort you can substitute by burning some rubber bands under the glass.

Hollysdower's avatar

Seriously...why does every other drink recipe have Malort in it?

Matthew Hooper's avatar

Malort is pure unmitigated bitterness. But once you realize that, you can use it as a bittering agent in a cocktail. Cocktails run sweet as a rule, so a novel tool to balance them gets our attention.

Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

I've heard some stories about how beer was first found on the small cup of a large rock, and who had to test it first. Your story reminds me of that!...

OneYieldRegular's avatar

All I can say is:

"DEAR GOD!"

gallbladder's avatar

Yes: I'd like to know about the weight-to-lift ratios of European vs African swallows carrying coconuts. Please hurry as my assignment is due in on Monday.

President Rufus T. Superfly's avatar

You should ask Grok and see what kind of porn it shows you.

Uncle Betamax's avatar

Pfft. That's a state secret.

Granny's Delusions of Grandeur's avatar

Are you suggesting that swallows are migratory?!

innocentbystander's avatar

Everyone in Capistrano thinks so.

Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

Michael Hurley did an awesome render of this, but the uverse won't allow me to retrieve it!...

Snarfyguy's avatar

Also, what is the square root of -1?

gallbladder's avatar

And anything divided by zero.

Martha Howell's avatar

A Trump Cabinet member <duh>

Jamoche's avatar

<— points at avatar

The G-7 Experience's avatar

Get GROK on it right away...

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

and none of those Pinko Metric units!

NewLarry's avatar

That's right! We want the answer in furlongs-per-fortnight.

Uncle Betamax's avatar

Fuck your freedom units.

Bagels of Doom's avatar

Cachaça = imminent danger.

helenasgarden's avatar

I'll have a barrel of "Cut Through The Gunfire” thank you very much, and don't stint on the champagne shots. The latter may not be needed but I do need them.

It's gorgeous and yummy to look at. Seductive, really. Shame about the name.

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

"YOU'RE NOT PUTTING ENOUGH LIQUOR IN MY DRINKS BECAUSE ALL THE GUYS IN THE BAR STILL LOOK UGLY TO ME! I WON BEST REAL ESTATE CLOSER IN THE TRI-COUNTY AREA THREE QUARTERS IN A ROW, SHOW SOME RESPECT!"

Uncle Betamax's avatar

Hey, look over there!

*Forward, down, down-forward high punch*

Snarfyguy's avatar

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I USED TO BE?"

Schmannity's avatar

MARY KAY DOESN'T JUST GIVE AWAY PINK CADILLACS TO EVERYONE!!!!

Opiwan's avatar
5hEdited

I thought the "Can I GET an AMEN!?!?!" was implied at the end

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

'CAN I GET SOME ACTUAL TEQUILA IN MY TEQUILA SUNRISE?"

Uncle Betamax's avatar

I'm just a little strange, when I GET HUNGRY...

Nigel R. Toppinglift, III's avatar

Took the day off to move storage units. The new one is over 50% cheaper and a tad bigger, but it’s on the 4th floor. It’s fine as I don’t go in that often, but initial load in today was brutal! 7 hours of moving stuff in a particular order so I can have space to take down and then reassemble shelves and reload them. Some stuff got donated, but the rest fell in that spot where it’s not always used, but I don’t want to get rid of it, either.

TheGreatAndPowerfulMormos!'s avatar

https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/26184/pg26184-images.html

Simple Sabotage Field Manual

a guide for the average citizen wondering what they can do to fight fascists effectively (and nonviolently).

TheHeroOfCanton's avatar

Longtime Marvel Comics artist Sal Buscema, younger brother of Marvel Comics artist John Buscema, passed away Monday, just short of his 90th birthday.

https://www.tcj.com/sal-buscema-1936-2026/

Mysterysurf's avatar

Ah, you're in time for the tail end of the Zoom.

Schmannity's avatar

The Slovakian wooden statue of Melania is being compared favorably to Melania's acting skills as her movie premieres.

TheHeroOfCanton's avatar

A graduate of the Costner School of Acting

Cookie Lady-Radical Left Scum's avatar

We call it “The School of No Inflection Acting” and list Costner as a valedictorian of his class.

Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

What acting skills? You must be joking.

noname's avatar

Before or after it burned down? (Or is that apocryphal?)

Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

It disappeared last May. It was probably tore up for kindling or something.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RC7vIg33Uw

EyeQueue's avatar

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

paperlesstiger's avatar

Half of America is completely oblivious to political reality, because they watch propaganda on Fox News all day. Then they go out and vote for a criminal who takes everything they have and tells them they are winning.

cmd Human Scum's avatar

One of my fave phrases in one of 3 excellent Guardian reviews of MELANIA (the Carpool Karaaoke part):

Her favourite artist is Michael Jackson. “I met him once with Donald,” she tells the film’s director Brett Ratner in the back of a limo on the way to Mar-a-Lago. “He was very sweet, very nice.” Her favourite songs are Billie Jean and Thriller, she adds, before she and Ratner briefly duet on the former, like Carpool Karaoke on the highway to hell.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/30/eggs-hats-unfettered-political-ambition-what-we-learned-melania-trump-documentary

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/30/melania-review-trump-film-is-a-gilded-trash-remake-of-the-zone-of-interest

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/30/melania-trump-amazon-brett-ratner-documentary

lmurr's avatar

Hey Mel, guess what everybody is going to remember about you for the next... ever.

Your "film".

SayItWithWookies's avatar

I barely left my house today, but when I did, I braved the ice-covered landscape to walk to the park because I dearly wanted to get out and have a look around, which I hadn't done in two days. The entire world is cold and slippery and hard and dangerous. But I did get a nice shot of a ruby-crowned kinglet. Enjoy!

https://substack.com/profile/156018579-sayitwithwookies/note/c-207775691

Fleur de Sel's avatar

My love to everyone on the wonkzoom and all who admired Woman. I didn’t know her name, but now I feel better knowing it somehow.

EyeQueue's avatar

It really bothers me that good humans like WITP, Walter Wellstone and others from here are gone, but pieces of crap like Trump and Stephen Miller, etc. still persist.

It's not just.

Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

At least the MAGA shitheels aren't trying to post directly here. It might be fun, though. Maybe...probably not.

Rocket Cat's avatar

Nah, they are stupitt

Goin Green's avatar

My wife still watches Bill Maher and he has (had… IDK, could be from her library) MTG on and I swear to God she proves Rand Paul would have been screaming about space lasers had he come up in the MAGA arena... she's just a Libertarian wrapped in a nut case flavored MAGA red tortilla and Cocoa butter bronzer. She just needed to get elected at first, then got greedy for power and went MAGA bonkers... which turned Shitler off with her alpha-cuckoo tendencies..She now wants to be cheer mom again (until the time is right). She's a sly little fox and you better not look away because she definitely can tell whichaway the Georgia wind blows and it ain't MAGA long term. She's looking at Senate and retire there or Gov, because she knows she ain't cut for national fame. And Georgia is gettin' too smart for their own good, so she's gotta lie better now... and if she knows one thing, it's lyin' better.

FurryCaterwauling's avatar

𝓦𝓸𝓷𝓴𝓩𝓸𝓸𝓶

Join the WonkZoom.com virtual dive bar. The regular hours are Tuesday and Friday nights from 6:00 pm to 9:00 pm Pacific. If that should change, read about it here on the hour and half-hour. Your video is OFF until you enable it.

On tonight's WonkZoom, Uncle Milburn and I note the passing of Woman in the Persistence/Woman Coming Home/Katy. She passed suddenly earlier this week. Finding quotes for tonight's announcements was a challenge since many were overly religious or sappy. In lieu of flowers, Milburn suggested attending a protest.

𝘔𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨.

—Traditional Jewish expression of condolence

Babe Paley's avatar

Indeed.

For all of her friends and loved ones, I can just offer you my love.

She mattered, and will never be forgotten.

theCryptofishist's avatar

Equines, but I'm willing to call them horses even if they aren't the same species.

The Blessed Reverend's avatar

Florian Noack

THis guy has such flawless technique - and not just velocity, but control and a full pallette of colors

https://youtu.be/G-K8Ei-Pe6w?si=AzQSHLX3F-L_gBV3&t=357

this is his own transcription of the orchestral Polovtsian Dances of Borodin

Schmannity's avatar

Laboratory of dumbassery.

Missouri AG Catherine Hanaway Files Lawsuit to Block Census from Counting Illegal Aliens – Calls for Census Recount

"United States citizens have a right to representation, NOT illegal aliens. United States citizens should decide electoral votes and congressional seats, NOT illegal aliens.

We are suing

@uscensusbureau

for unconstitutionally allowing illegal aliens to commandeer the path to The White House and compromise our elections."

BlueSpot's avatar

The Constitution, Article I, Section 2, requires that every person in the state be counted when the census is taken.

Schmannity's avatar

That's what makes Missouri so mavericky

Schmannity's avatar

Maybe they'll make the math even harder by compromising and counting the undocumented as 3/5ths a person.