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Matthew Hooper's avatar

We’ve got a Candyland Kid’s Dance tonight. Lord knows how it’s all gonna play out. Post any questions here.

EDIT: Every child will receive a lollipop and kazoo on entry. There is a DJ. Pray for me.

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Demme Fatale's avatar

Have you ever used "Horseradish Vodka?"

We are making it for Passover.

(You steep fresh horseradish in vodka for a few days.)

It would be great in this!

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Calamity Pain's avatar

missed ya! still have several handwritten recipes from you that i use regularly (your pina colada from, like… 2021, i think? is such a banger i regularly use it when i have the energy to make a blended drink and am entertaining ppl.)

my list is still titled “matty hoops” 🤭

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President Rufus T. Superfly's avatar

In your honor, and with the greatest respect, I'm drinking grain alcohol and Mr. and Mrs. T's bloody mary mix.

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Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

It's definitely a step up from rainwater and pure grain alcohol.

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Marty Smit's avatar

Kids, lollipops and kazoos while dancing? Well thought out.

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Smoke O'Possum's avatar

What on earth did you do to your manager to deserve that sort of punishment?

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eddi-SABH's avatar

If they are like I was at that age beware. They will go through your garnishes like a Bible load of locusts. Dad and mom had to chase me off early when they threw a cocktail party. Maraschino cherries, pickled onions and olives. Yum.

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Fred's avatar

my parents always asked for extra olives for me. Thanks, parents!

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eddi-SABH's avatar

Bless them.

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Androgenous AF's avatar

I'm still that way...I think lots are. Notice how the bartenders hide them?

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eddi-SABH's avatar

Would it be bad manners to wear noise canceling headphones?

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Uncle Betamax's avatar

*goose avalanche*

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Thixotropickle's avatar

Coming next: Guantanamera Kid's Dance: every mini terrorist receives a full drum kit and a pound of rum flavored chocolate covered espresso beans.

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Sojourner Truth's avatar

Are you the kind of kool bartender that slips them energy drinks?

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Uncle Betamax's avatar

*stares in angry crab*

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Schmannity's avatar

Can I get 6 Shirley Temples for table 7?

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Matthew Hooper's avatar

Ha ha, joke’s on you, we set up a cooler full of them for the tykes.

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PeteWa's avatar

The former lifeguard in me says no lollipopping while dancing!

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Let me sum up's avatar

I STILL have a recurring bad dream that I forgot to renew my lifeguard license so I won't be able to work for the summer.

I last life guarded in 1986.

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Let me sum up's avatar

Definitely the documentary version of lifeguarding in tinyville, Iowa, circa 1986.

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Dogfather's avatar

Lifeguard in 1977. Was recently thinking about it...$1.79/hr.

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Let me sum up's avatar

I miiiiight have made over $2.00.

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kckitty's avatar

Same here. But apparently I was more concerned about getting an even tan and simply whistled at naughty boys!

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Let me sum up's avatar

My tan was gorgeous, in the context of the time!

Apparently I supervised MRobtheMathSnob of these parts as well - impressive to connect here since hometown population is approximately 400.

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Birb-General of the US's avatar

You are 38 years late in renewing, so the dream was real.

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Uncle Betamax's avatar

The nightmare becomes reality!

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Let me sum up's avatar

How right you are, Birb.

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PeteWa's avatar

We were lifeguards around about the same time!

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Craig Nixon's avatar

A KAZOO?? A room full of kids each with a KAZOO????

Man, someone musta pissed someone else OFF.

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DV Thrombossa Nova's avatar

Try to get them to sing a song in unison. Kazoo choirs are the shit.

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PuraVida's avatar

My grandson just discovered that his kazoo sounds like the blender, so he blows it and yells SMOOTHIE!

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Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

I once enlivened a child's birthday party by blowing up balloons for the kids, and instead of tying off said balloons instructed each child to point it and let go. Balloons farting their way across the room, screaming children, and the parents looking at me like I was a terrorist. The birthday boy couldn't stop laughing.

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Susanneh's avatar

I HAVE to make this drink! I haven't bloody married in many many years as I like to take it easier nowadays. I always enjoy your drank ideas, it's like food science in a glass. Even when it's not my thing, it still hits the nerd and pleasure hound in me. I look forward to it every week!

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NewLarry's avatar

I get you, me too.

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The Blessed Reverend's avatar

WARNING: you do NOT put the kazoo and the lolliipop in your mouth at the same time

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Virgiebeach's avatar

omg

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Pauly2coffees's avatar

Will there be line dancing?

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Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

There will be if its Don Jr's party.. oh wait, you don't mean that kind of line.

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Fred's avatar

my so brought home 6 lbs of organic carrots (on sale). there are just the two of us.

sigh

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Fred's avatar

WAY too much work, thank you very much.

I will go with V8, worcestershire, dash of tabasco, lime juice, and sometimes clam juice. works for my SO.

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Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

So adjacent to Mr. Hooper we find the archeologists who dig down to unearth the truth that people must find some way to avert our eyes from the horror of this dreadful world filled with rapacious capitalists, throat cutting landlords and war mongering monsters. https://archaeology.org/collection/alcohol-through-the-ages/

If only for a brief moment we must take a break from it all, take the ceremonial vessel in hand and salute Crom who gives us the strength needed to get through another day.

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Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

The Denver Art Museum will soon open an exhibition of paintings that were mostly created by an artist who works in both Canada and New York.

Is it an act of political solidarity with our northern neighbors?

Does the art comment on the economic instability brought on by a trade war?

Will visitors find a cross cultural exchange of "elbows up aesthetic juxtapositions" highlighting the differences of Canadian and US mental healthcare options?

Thank Crom it will be none of that! If it were those things I would not recommend it to you.

But I will, without reservation and with complete confidence, recommend you book a plane and hotel sometime between April 20, 2025–August 17, 2025 to visit downtown Denver Colorado to see *Kent Monkman - History Is Created By The Victors*.

Read the museum blurb and think about it. https://www.denverartmuseum.org/en/exhibitions/kent-monkman

This artist is absolutely unique and I won't try to 'splain him here. There are plenty of internet links to check out where he does that. But I will share with you that he considers himself to be an advocate for the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. The '2S' stands for "2 Spirit". Monkman paints himself into his work using an alter ego named "Miss Chief Eagle Testicle" whose name is worth a google search all by its own self. MCET is descibed as a 'legendary being who has come from the stars."

Nuff said. Don't miss it.

(Full disclosure department- I work at the DAM in a small part time role and consider myself fortunate to do so. But Kent Monkman represents an intersection where my part time job runs smack dab into the mommy blog)

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Spleen Victoria's avatar

I love Monkman! We are lucky to have several on permanent exhibit here in Regina. Mostly residential school focused.

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Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

The DAM show catalogue contains a piece called *Intermediary Study For The Going Away Song* which shows faces of children frozen in their angry defiance of oppression. The final painting shows more sadness in those faces.

Both are powerful. But right now I think I prefer the intermediary study to the final sadness. But that's just me and my take on resistance.

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Pauly2coffees's avatar

Those works are so beautiful and provocative!

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Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

The museum blurb is the tip of a very large iceberg.

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𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

I haven’t really spent much time in malls, so for me they are an exotic environment in which I am on high alert. Information about malls does not have the soothing quality that I seek at the moment.

I am hoping to go back to sleep for a bit, and I was going to try to ride this video into dreamland. If you enjoy hearing people talk on a geek level about obscure topics, this fellow might be of interest to you. This is a Vlogger who builds guitars and sells courses on building guitars. The link video is a two hour presentation on different tools that can be used in building guitars. I have the guide that he published which he references as having covered about 300 different tools, which sounds about right. He has a very soothing voice.

https://theartoflutherie.com/luthier-tools-qa-workshop/?inf_contact_key=69d2fa81ad7da3af7d9483de4a82a8ef680f8914173f9191b1c0223e68310bb1

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Noma Larkey's avatar

New post up (includes a couple of vid's I need to check out later). That's my cue to get my butt off the couch and go walk the hound, followed my morning walk. Later gators.

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memzilla's avatar

🎶Oh carrots are divine, you get a dozen for a dime, it's maa-aa-agic.

They fry, a song begins; they roast and I hear violins, it's magic.

Why do I kid myself? Other loves that I have are all really few.

When in my heart I know, the magic's my love for you. 🎶

https://youtu.be/9OuFbyyt8k0

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Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

Today, an inch of ice. No one's going anywhere. The next two days are supposed to continue to be slip city everywhere here. I may turn the golf channel on, with the sound off, to see if Mrs. Toomush will notice...

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SkeptiKC's avatar

I'm just glad you're safe at home where you intend to remain.

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Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

Don't wanna be slip slidin' away...

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Thixotropickle's avatar

Brought a tear to my eye for the poor starving billionaires who will FINALLY be allowed to eat...the poors!

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SkeptiKC's avatar

I want to do some harm to some Rethuglicons.

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Rosy red ASS's avatar

To everyone crying "WE DIDN'T VOTE FOR THIS", YES you did.

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Mole Child of Cluelessness's avatar

Especially the liberal fuckers who didn't vote because Biden/Harris weren't perfect, not voting was a vote for tRump you asshats.

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Rosy red ASS's avatar

Oh, but they had a red line they couldn’t cross.

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punkindrublic's avatar

They voted for it believing it was only going to happen to the minorities that they hate. I have ZERO fucking sympathy for them.

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Rosy red ASS's avatar

THIS!!!!

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tehbaddr's avatar

8^o

Is that their plan?!

trollface.gif

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Teen Laqueefa's avatar

For starters, then when the economy is in smoking ruin they'll use those tax cuts to buy up the wreckage for pennies on the dollar, then PROFIT!

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paxpax's avatar

and then we'll all be their wage-slaves (we already are - but then more so)

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Thixotropickle's avatar

home brewed disaster capitalism

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Whale Chowder's avatar

Glad to hear from you.

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Thixotropickle's avatar

"Sending a handful of thoughts and prayers via the Signal app, hope that helps wherever MeandMarsbar is I really don't care do you?"

-MelEloDon

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

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Teen Laqueefa's avatar

Empty words from an empty head

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Pauly2coffees's avatar

wE WoUlD rEaLLy LIkE tO hElP.

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Rosy red ASS's avatar

I was just asking about you!!!

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Appalachian in Thailand's avatar

Thanks! I'm OK. Barely felt here in Pattaya, but BKK is a mess. There were reports from taxis of a 7 hour trip from there to here; normally 90 minutes.

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EyeQueue's avatar

I hope you and your family are OK!

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Appalachian in Thailand's avatar

I'm good. I didn't feel it here in Pattaya, about 90 miles south of BKK. Some here did, but 7 years in southern California kinda dulled my senses to them.

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Rosy red ASS's avatar

LOL, Bay Area here. When a 5.0 feels like nothing you know your senses are dulled to them.

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EyeQueue's avatar

That's good to hear. :) :) Horrible news, though.

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Daniel's avatar

His name is Adam.

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SkeptiKC's avatar

Wonkette has contrived a substantial variety of exceedingly unique "kitties" here.

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EyeQueue's avatar

SQUEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Suzie Greenburg's avatar

What a beautiful baby!

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punkindrublic's avatar

A friend of mine got suckered by some satirical FB post about $kum and Mel Gibson teaming up to form a Christian family values film production company. The problem being that irony is so fucking dead and buried that the idea of an alcoholic racist domestic abuser and a ketamine addicted white supremacist with 14 kids by six different women churning out Christian family values films is not even a slight stretch.

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memzilla's avatar

So long as it doesn't interfere with a certain lop-eared angel getting to Grandma's for her delicious chicken stew. HI KATIE!

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punkindrublic's avatar

"Hi Memz! Our neighbors were heading to their car to go out for breakfast this morning when we were on our walk. The petted me and loved on me and I tried to jump in the car to go with them."

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SkeptiKC's avatar

Yikes. I hope like hell that it won't cost him too much $$$ or ANY of his personal security.

I won't go anywhere near any recent online "offers" of dubious continuity.

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punkindrublic's avatar

Oh, he just got suckered into believing it was true. Anybody who would consider investing in some MAGAt grift like that would never be someone I consider a friend.

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Rosy red ASS's avatar

Satire is dead. I can't tell anymore.

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punkindrublic's avatar

Right? There used to be some extremely funny satirical comic strip writers. The gruesome reality of MAGAtWorld has put them out of business.

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Mysterysurf's avatar

Rockabilly revivalist Robert Gordon was born on this day in 1947. Here's his recording of "Fire" with Link Wray:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQJaMpXH0X0

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weejee's avatar

Yay. Colombia approved the adoption. My oldest son & his wife have two new kids and my bride and I now have 10 grands. Can't wait to take them skiing in the fall.

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Suzie Greenburg's avatar

Wow congratulations!!!!

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SkeptiKC's avatar

ALL of the joyous congratulations!

My heart feels warm and full just imagining you wrapping your arms lovingly around the two newest members of the family in the warmest welcome. <3

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Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

I hope everyone has safe travels back to the US.

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It's what Jen do's avatar

Congrats!

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