Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Mint Julep!

Plus a review of Hooper's best margaritas for Cinco de Mayo!

If the glass isn’t frosty, there isn’t enough ice.

Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. The stars are aligned against us this week — it’s Derby Weekend, followed almost immediately by Cinco de Mayo. Consequently, I’m providing a quick link and commentary on ALL my margaritas and Mexican libations over the years (there are a LOT), with the Pimm’s Cup and some other Derby Day favorites rolled in. But I can’t let you go without at least one recipe to try. Here’s my latest take on the Country Club Mint Julep:

Country Club Mint Julep

2 oz Maker’s Mark bourbon

½ oz Rich Mint Syrup

Powdered sugar

2 dashes Angostura bitters

Mint leaves

Fill a mint julep cup to the brim with crushed ice. Pour the bourbon and syrup over the ice and stir. Add more crushed ice. Dust the top of the ice with powdered sugar. Dash the Angostura bitters over the powdered sugar. Add a large mint garnish and serve.

Rich Mint Syrup

6-8 fresh mint sprigs

2 cups granulated sugar

1 cup water

Prepare the rich simple syrup: In a small saucepan, heat water and sugar until the sugar is completely dissolved. Set aside to cool.

Bring a small saucepan of water to a boil. Gather herb sprigs by the stems and plunge the leaves into the boiling water for 15 seconds. Remove the herbs from the boiling water and immediately submerge them in an ice bath for one minute. Pat the blanched leaves dry. Cut off the stems. Add leaves and syrup to a blender and puree for one minute. Let the syrup rest for an hour. Strain into a sealable container. Will keep in the fridge for six months.

When I originally discussed the mint julep, I used the classic technique of muddling the leaves in the cup. A mint syrup spares you the effort of muddling — perfect for mint juleps for a crowd. If you simply simmer mint leaves, sugar, and water together for a mint syrup, you’ll end up with something that looks and tastes like green tea. Blanching the leaves maintains the green color you’d expect from a mint syrup, and tastes much fresher. The batch of syrup we have at the bar still has the leaves in it, and it’s only gotten greener and more intense over time.

Quick ingredient shot before we dive into the margaritas. The pale green color to the syrup is way cool.

Pimm’s Cup!

If you don’t have enough ice for a mint julep (and this recipe demands a LOT of crushed ice), may I suggest a Pimm’s Cup for you? (Oooh, we really have to redo this one with a better photo.) I saw a recipe for this cocktail in a New Orleans cookbook that suggested infusing the Pimm’s No. 1 with strawberries, oranges, and cucumbers for a week before using it. This seems like a fabulous idea; I’ll need to go back and try it this summer. Despite the optimistic tone of this article, my bottle of Pimm’s No. 1 is still lurking in my liquor cabinet.

Perhaps you needed to go to the lavatory and missed “the most exciting three minutes in sports,” as the Derby bills itself these days. Not to worry. Cinco de Mayo is on Monday, and you know that all the local bars are focusing on margaritas. I love margaritas dearly, so let’s go over the many, many options I’ve presented over the years.

Margaritas!

Here’s the first margarita recipe I wrote for Wonkette, and it still holds up beautifully. I crank this exact same margarita out at the bar every day. I stand by my assertion that a pinch of salt added to a margarita tamps down the sweetness and intensifies the flavor. I prefer Auntie Arwen’s Lime Fusion salt. She’s local, she’s a good person, and her products are fantastic.

But this isn’t the most basic margarita out there. Here’s my perfect margarita — no agave, just tequila, triple sec, and lime. Alternately, you could make a Tommy’s Margarita, which uses agave nectar instead of triple sec. Either way, you’ve got a margarita stripped down to its bare essence, something that puts the tequila front and center.

On the other hand, here’s a late summer margarita that uses honey instead of agave. It also uses orange blossom water and cheap triple sec, for days when Cointreau seems a bit pricey. I positioned this margarita as a canvas that allows you to add any fruit you like — orange, pomegranate, whatever moves you — and get good results. Looking back, I’d use a mellower reposado tequila instead of blanco.

From here, things get wilder. This smoky blood orange margarita is a great way to warm up if spring weather hasn’t quite caught up to you yet. A spicy cilantro/ancho chile margarita is pretty awesome if the leaves don’t taste like soap to you. Or try this chile-infused Aperol margarita if you want something seriously face-melting.

Want something less spicy? I’m still proud of this strawberry margarita from this spring. The rhubarb bitters really make this drink special. Or go buck wild and make a chocolate margarita for dessert.

In summary and conclusion, drink well, drink often, and tip your bartender — donate to Wonkette at the link below!

Wonkette one-time donation!

We aren’t linking to Amazon anymore, because fuck that coward Bezos with a rusty bar spoon. Go read The Greatest Gambling Story Ever Told by Mark Paul instead. To quote the blurb, “How can you resist a true story with the Kentucky Derby, the Mexican Cartel, Tijuana Gambling, and a guy named ‘Miami’?” I’m not a fan of the ponies, but this looks like a fun read.

You can find me on Bluesky at @samuraigrog!

OPEN THREAD! DRINK!