Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Admiral Schley Highball!

A great drink from a master African American mixologist!

An unstirred highball is so pretty.

Greetings, Wonketteers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. The calendar was against me in 2024. I wasn’t in time to compose a Valentine’s Day or Mardi Gras drink for you. But I wasn’t going to let Black History Month slide away without providing a cocktail from the legendary Tom Bullock. Time to make an Admiral Schley Highball. Here’s the recipe: 

Admiral Schley Highball

2 oz Roe & Co. Irish Whiskey

½ oz Camelot Mead

.75 oz pineapple syrup

.75 oz lemon juice

1-2 drops saline

Club Soda

Add all ingredients to a cocktail shaker and shake until cold. Pour over ice into a highball glass. Top with soda water. Garnish with a lemon twist. 

Before we deal with the cocktail, let’s get one thing out of the way: Winifred Scott Schley was a Commodore in the Spanish American War. He was promoted to Admiral before he retired. The press loved him, but a quick glance at his accomplishments suggests he was mediocre at best. 

Tom Bullock, on the other hand, was not mediocre at his profession. In 1913, Teddy Roosevelt sued a tiny newspaper over accusations of drunkenness in public. Under cross-examination, Teddy admitted to a fondness for mint juelps. He did confess to having a julep at the St. Louis Country Club, but only consumed “part of it.” 

The St. Louis Dispatch pounced. The St. Louis Country club was Tom Bullock’s bar, and according to them, “there is no greater mixologist of any race, color, or condition of servitude.” “Who was ever known to drink a part of one of Tom’s?” editorialized the paper on March 28, 1913. “To believe that a red-blooded man, and a true Colonel at that, ever stopped with just a part of these refreshments … is to strain credulity too far.” They were pretty good juleps, as far as we can tell. 

Unfortunately, we know very little of Tom Bullock’s life aside from his mixology skills. He did write a fantastic cocktail book, The Ideal Bartender (Wonkette commission link!). It’s a fascinating window into turn-of-the century bartending by a master of his craft. Several of the recipes seem daunting at first, but measurements were quite different behind the pine a century ago. I’ve got a recipe for “A Gin Cocktail” from Mr. Bullock that asks for “a wine glass” of gin. It turns out that wine glasses have been steadily growing in size since the 1700s. Tom’s pour of gin was probably 3-4 ounces; stiff, but not absurd. 

The few descriptions of Mr. Bullock we have praised him not just for the quality of his drinks, but his professionalism. Apparently, Mr. Bullock’s talents included discretion, a willing ear to listen, and skillful management of his customers. I know from my time as a country club bartender that it’s challenging to discreetly cut off a drunk club member or manage a rowdy crowd. It must have been immensely harder as a Black man at the turn of the century. Mr. Bullock figured it out before. If I had a chance to go back in time and talk to him, I’d love to learn his recipes. But I’d be far happier to hear his war stories from behind the pine, and maybe learn a trick or two about how to manage people. 

Let’s talk ingredients:

Ingredient shot. Gotta admit, I’m happy to have an excuse to have mead in the fridge.

Roe & Co. Irish Whiskey: Jameson, Tullamore Dew, or another cheap Irish whiskey is fine here, maybe even preferable. It’s probably close to what Mr. Bullock had to work with, and the notes do cooperate with the ingredients. But I indulged and picked out my favorite Irish whiskey, Roe & Co. This bottle prominently features orange, honey, and melon notes; all those flavors play well with the other ingredients in the glass. I used my favorite; please feel free to use yours. 

Camelot Mead: Mr. Bullock’s recipe called for “A sweet white dessert wine, such as Sauternes.” That’s a trick in 2024; we don’t drink many of those anymore. I seriously considered a sweet table wine, but in the end I decided on an inexpensive brand of mead. The tasting notes on this cocktail describe honey notes, and I know that Irish whiskey loves honey. I would be wide open to any sweet white wine you love here. Just pick something a little more upscale than Boone’s Farm, please. 

Pineapple syrup: 1:1 pineapple juice and sugar, heated until dissolved. This ingredient is sheer genius. I wish I’d had it at my disposal during my tiki days. Use canned pineapple juice; it’s less acidic than fresh. 

Lemon juice: Use real juice. Plastic lemons provide plastic juice. This is the only meaningful acid in the drink; feel free to boot it to a full ounce. 

1-2 drops of saline: My own addition to Mr. Bullock’s recipe. A tiny amount of salt helps a drink when the sweetness is muting other flavors. I keep an eye dropper of 50:50 sea salt and water behind the bar to boost margaritas or the occasional (shudder) Long Island Iced Tea. 

Club Soda: Club soda has a touch of salt in it, so I prefer it over sparkling water for most applications. Use as much as you need to fill the glass properly.

In summary and conclusion, drink well, drink often, and tip your bartender — donate to Wonkette with the button below!  

If you’re buying cocktail implements and whatnot at Amazon, this button gives us a small commission!

You can find me on Threads and Insta at samurai_grog!

OPEN THREAD!