Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Civilized Martini!

'I had never tasted anything so cool and clean ... They made me feel civilized.' Ernest Hemingway, Farewell to Arms.

The light’s not great at my workstation. Sorry.

Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. And I have a manifesto. I’ve seen what passes for martinis at the country club, and I’m outraged. The “cool, civilized” cocktail beloved by Hemingway has been degraded into a four-ounce shot of chilled vodka, served in a martini glass with an olive. We’ve forgotten what a real, honest martini tastes like. I want the martini back. This recipe is designed to show exactly what we’re missing. Let’s make a Civilized Martini. Here’s the recipe.

Civilized Martini

1 oz Tanqueray gin

1 oz Citadelle Jardin d’été gin

1 oz Luskoya vodka

½ oz Carpano dry vermouth

2-3 dashes orange bitters

1 small lemon twist

4-5 rosemary needles

Pinch smoked sea salt

4-5 drops extra virgin olive oil

Add the vodka to a cocktail vessel. Muddle the lemon twist and rosemary needles. Add the remaining ingredients except for the olive oil. Stir with ice until the outside of the vessel is cold. Double strain into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with 4-5 drops of olive oil and a stuffed olive.

I know, that’s a lot of ingredients. Two different gins is a big ask. But bear with me. Gin has become a wildly diverse spirit over the past few decades. Hendrick’s opened the world of gin wide open when they thumbed their nose at juniper berries and distilled a cucumber and rose spirit. Now there’s comfortable citrus gin, crisp herbal gin, and everything in between. This cocktail aims to show you everything gin can offer in one glass. The vodka’s there to give the herbal and spice elements room to breathe. Sometimes cocktails can be so dense with flavor that it’s challenging to pick out individual flavors.

I’ve chosen seasonings for this cocktail that highlight everything gin and vermouth can bring to the party. Citrus flavor? Fresh lemon oil from a twist. Juniper notes? Crushed rosemary to sharpen the crisp alpine flavors. Round, fruity, umami notes? Time for some sea salt and olive oil to make it all come into focus. Lemon, rosemary, and olive go together so very well, and they help to express everything else that the gin and vermouth want to say in this cocktail. This glass would be absolutely amazing with a shrimp cocktail or some marinated olives. I genuinely believe that this is what a martini was meant to be.

I’ve researched the origins of the martini before, but I recently found a 1900 recipe for the “Bradford A La Martini” that shares a few intriguing elements with my cocktail. The Bradford uses a lemon peel and orange bitters in its recipe. Mind you, the Bradford is a 50/50 gin-and-dry-vermouth drink. Dry vermouth is thoroughly out of fashion in America. I’m not willing to discard it entirely, but treating it as a seasoning instead of a primary ingredient hits the spot with modern audiences.

Let’s talk ingredients:

Ingredient shot. A bit rushed, but it was a busy night.

Tanqueray Gin: Tanqueray is the baseline gin for any classic cocktail. Love it or hate it, when you think of gin, you’re probably thinking of Tanqueray. Charles Tanqueray created the original recipe in 1830 after obsessively testing over 300 gin variations. His notes are still being used to create new iterations of the classic.

Citadelle Jardin d’été gin: It would be hard to find a gin more different from Tanqueray than this French citrus-forward gin. Yuzu, sour orange, and tangerine lead a parade of fruit and herbal notes. There are still juniper and licorice notes that resemble Tanqueray, but the end result is wildly different.

Luskoya Vodka: Vodka’s often a filler ingredient in cocktails, providing alcohol but no flavor. I’m using it here to give the gins and herbal elements space to unpack and express themselves. A cocktail that’s dense with flavor can taste muddy or numb. This martini deserves a chance to slow down and express itself properly.

Carpano Dry Vermouth: Use the best dry vermouth you can find, but even cheap Martini and Rossi manages to get the point across. Dry vermouth uses herbal elements like fennel, coriander, and juniper that amplify Tanqueray’s herbaceous nature to new heights. A little goes a long way, but omitting it would be criminal.

Orange Bitters: I’ve been adding these bitters to my martinis for years. A little citrus without sugar is terrific in a martini.

Lemon Twist: Try to cut a twist with as little white pith as possible. We don’t need bitter notes in this glass.

Rosemary Needles: You only need a few needles. Be sparing. Rosemary oil can easily overwhelm the drink.

Smoked Sea Salt: A lightly smoked salt is great, but regular sea salt is fine.

Extra Virgin Olive Oil: The oil looks absolutely beautiful on top of the cocktail, but too much will make the drink greasy. Four to five drops, no more.

My home bar is Hemingway’s Underground, the hottest cocktail bar in pretty little Medina, Ohio. I’m behind the stick Wednesday-Saturday, 4-10. Last call’s at midnight. Swing on by and I’ll make a drink for you… or anything else from our little Happy Hour here at Wonkette.

OPEN THREAD!