Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Half And Half
A St. Patrick's day classic, drinkable any time of the year.
Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. I decided to take St. Patrick’s Day to do some extended research on beer. It was a wide-ranging period of study that covered at least two Irish pubs within walking distance of each other. After some reflection, and a long nap, I decided to discuss a distinctly American beer cocktail popular around the holiday. Let’s pour ourselves a Half and Half. Here’s the recipe.
Half and Half
½ pint quality local pilsner, like Dortmunder Gold
½ pint Guinness
Hold a chilled pint glass at a 40-45 degree angle to the bar. Slowly pour the pilsner into the glass. Set the glass onto the bar and let the head on the pilsner settle. Place a spoon upside down over the glass. Pour the Guinness directly over the spoon in a slow, steady stream until the glass is full. Serve immediately.
The Half and Half, or “Black and Tan,” has nothing to do with Ireland. It was first described by William Boothby, a San Francisco bartender, in his 1891 book American Bar-Tender. His recipe was simply “half porter and half ale,” without any reference to Irish beer. The drink precedes the Irish “Black and Tans” by a good 20 years; the RIC started recruiting its thugs in 1920.
I haven’t found a specific date when Guinness and Ireland became associated with this drink, but I suspect that Guinness itself adopted the cocktail and gave it a pedigree by calling it an “Irish tradition.” Usually, a Black and Tan is made with Guinness and Harp, which are both brewed by the same company. The name does offend some people today, and I’m fairly liberal about what beers to use in the glass, so we’ll call it a “Half and Half” going forward.
Layered drinks always catch the eye at the bar, and the Half and Half is no exception. Porter beers like Guinness are relatively low in sugar compared to a pilsner like Dortmunder Gold (my hometown favorite). A porter might taste bitter, dark, and dense, but its higher alcohol content and lower sugar mean it will float on top of nearly anything else on tap. (Your mileage may vary. A bitter IPA will float on top of a porter. So will Bud Light, but we won’t speak of such horrors here.)
A nitrogen-infused beer like Guinness is also easier to layer than a conventional beer. The nitro creates smaller, more abundant bubbles than carbon dioxide, providing a full, silky mouth feel. Guinness doesn’t pour like any other beer on tap. The foam settles upward, not downward. Watching a bartender pour a perfect pint is a hypnotic process; watch this video to experience the magic. The soft, slow pour of a proper Guinness keeps the layers undisturbed as you make the drink.
Let’s talk ingredients:
Pilsner: My hometown favorite is Dortmunder Gold from Great Lakes Brewing. Dortmunder, like many craft pilsners, is robust and well-balanced. Miller Light is a weak, pathetic imitation of the real thing. When you go to a good bar, check out the taps and get the local favorite. It’ll certainly be fresher than the industrial factory swill and probably taste much better.
Guinness Porter: Porters are dark beers, crafted with toasted malt and lots of hops. There are certainly better porters on the market, but I have a soft spot for Guinness. A well-chilled Guinness is smooth and mild, as comforting as hot buttered toast on a cold day. And I’m a sucker for the mystique and beauty of a properly poured pint.
That being said, if you’ve got a dark milk stout on draft like Milk Stout Nitro from Left Handed Brewing Company, I’m all in. Milk stouts are just as dark and dense as porters, but they use lactose in the brewing process. Yeast doesn’t eat lactose, so a milk porter comes out of the tap sweet and silky-smooth. It’s a real treat, provided that you aren’t lactose intolerant.
It should be noted that Guinness will float on top of a lot of beverages. I prefer a “Snakebite,” equal parts Guinness and hard cider. I was horrified to learn that the “Gonster” — equal parts Guinness and Monster energy drink — is a thing. Purportedly, it tastes good. I hope I never find out.
In summary and conclusion, drink well, drink often, and tip your bartender — donate to Wonkette at the link below!
We aren’t linking to Amazon anymore, because fuck Bezos with a rusty bar spoon. Go read Filthy Queens: A History of Beer in Ireland, by Dr. Christina Wade instead. In her words: “You’ll find an 18th-century courtesan who had a wicked streak of beer snobbery and early medieval monks who wrote beer reviews so terrible, any Untappd fan would feel right at home.” The Irish have always had high standards when it comes to beer.
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