Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Tortuga!
A complex, spicy, orange and cocoa rum Manhattan. As one does.
Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. I was planning to devote all of September to fall whiskey cocktails, but it’s bearing down on 90 degrees here in Ohio, it’s Pirate Weekend at the local Ren Faire, and I miss my rum. But I’m not willing to abandon my theme quite yet. Here’s a rum drink that’s made in the style of a stirred fall cocktail, sort of a rum Manhattan with a few twists. It’s also a chance for me to talk about a class of spirits we haven’t touched on much to date. Let’s make a Tortuga. Here’s the recipe:
Tortuga
2 oz Planteray Special Dark Rum
1 oz Averna Amaro
1 oz Sandeman’s Port
3-4 dashes orange bitters
3-4 dashes cocoa bitters
Orange twist
Stir all ingredients but the orange twist in a cocktail stirring vessel with ice until the vessel feels cold to the touch. Strain into a chilled coupe glass. Squeeze the orange twist over the glass and discard. Serve at once.
This drink is inspired by The Black Prince, originally devised by Phillip Ward, veteran of the Pegu Club and Death and Co, and creator of the legendary Penicillin cocktail. It takes a fair amount of courage to meddle with the recipe of a master like Ward, but I’ve fallen out of love with vermouth as a cocktail ingredient. Vermouth needs to be chilled to stay fresh; it’s wine, not liquor. Far too many bars park their vermouth bottles on the rail for weeks on end, letting it turn into vinegar. Even though I keep my vermouth in the fridge, I don’t use it fast enough to avoid it spoiling.
Port wine, on the other hand … well, it’s not the same animal as vermouth really. Vermouth is wine seasoned with herbs and spices, while port is a wine that’s been fortified with eau de vie in its aging process, stopping fermentation while retaining sugar. Basically, vermouth is herbal; port is sweet and jammy. Swapping vermouth for port in a cocktail sacrifices complexity for rich sweetness and umami. It’s a change that I feel is worth making, especially if you use a heavy hand with bitters and other herbal ingredients.
Enter Averna, one of many amaros that find their way onto the shelves of serious mixology bars. Minty, bittersweet, and herbaceous, amaros add dimension and character to many signature drinks in top-notch bars. Fernet Branca, my favorite shot of all time and a “bartender’s handshake,” qualifies as an amaro. I don’t often use amaros in cocktails for Wonkette — they’re pricey and aren’t an everyday ingredient. But if you stumble across one while you’re rummaging through the liquor cabinet, you’ll be glad to see it. A splash of the right amaro in the glass will often make a good, everyday cocktail great. I’ve got a bottle of Cynar floating around in my cabinet that makes every whiskey cocktail of mine stunning. There’s a bottle of Fernet Jelinek in the back corner that’s full of baking spices — that one’s coming out in November. I have to check my wallet when I buy an amaro for home, but it’s generally worth it.
Let’s talk ingredients:
Planteray Special Dark: My go-to rum, every single time, no question. I’m very happy to see that the bottles with Planteray’s old name, “Plantation,” have left the shelves. It took some doing to convince the French distributor of Planteray that “Plantation” was a less than ideal name in the American market, but after several years and a ton of paperwork, they finally made the change.
Averna Amaro: Experimenting with other amaros here is going to radically change the drink, but often for the better. I can’t emphasize enough how useful a good amaro can be in elevating a drink. I’ve served a 50/50 mix of the right Amaro and Jaegermister at the bar and turned heads at the “elegant, sophisticated” cocktail. Averna is just the beginning. Shop around and find what you like.
Sandeman’s Port: I do love sweet, rich port, but if you have sweet vermouth in your fridge by all means use that. What seals the deal for me is that I’d never drink sweet vermouth straight, but I’d happily sip on a small glass of port at the end of the night. Choose your own adventure.
Orange Bitters: Mandatory. The orange notes of Averna need a little amplification, and the orange bitters do the job nicely.
Cocoa Bitters: Less mandatory, but worth it. The subtle notes of cocoa in the Averna need help to be noticeable. Using these bitters makes the difference between sipping on an orange candy or tasting a Terry’s Milk Chocolate orange in a glass.
Orange Twist: Cut a strip of orange peel from a fresh orange and crumple it over the glass. When the orange peel feels wet, throw it away. A few drops of orange oil will have found their way into the glass, and a little goes a long way.
In summary and conclusion, drink well, drink often, and tip your bartender — donate to Wonkette at the link below!
If you’re buying cocktail implements and whatnot at Amazon, this button gives us a small commission!
You can find me on Threads and Insta at samurai_grog!
OPEN THREAD!
I took Hooper’s advice and bought 2 bottles of Plantation rum. I was intrigued by the description of overripe bananas and wanted to grab a couple bottles for myself. Stupidly, I carried too many bags out of the store and dropped one bottle of rum in the parking lot, smashing it. I cleaned up the glass and cried as I drove home, smelling like a rum-soaked islander.
I imagine I have one of the last few bottles of “Plantation” rum, now that the name has changed. I’m certainly all for the change. But anytime something is no longer available it carries a certain novelty. So my 2/3 full bottle of rum is for sale on eBay. The reserve price is $10,000. So far the high bid is zero. I think I’ll just drink it.
My NC friend texted and started in on asking questions about Trump. She agreed that he did badly in the debate but aside from that she still doesn’t know what eithers plans to implement their policy is. I kindly pointed out tariffs vs taxes. Then she was like, not sure how to decide. I said then judge by their characters and pointed to several of his points like mass deportation, killing the department of education as well as the abortion issue.
So then she said well he said he was giving that decision back to the states.
I kindly reminded her of the map I sent of how abortion has now become illegal in so many states whereas with Roe is was constitutionally protected. I think that she FINALLY understood.