2474 Comments
User's avatar
Matthew Hooper's avatar

Last weekend at the country club. I’m not airing any dirty laundry until the last paycheck clears. Cocktail questions go here.

Expand full comment
Monsieur Grumpe's avatar

Pictures please.

Expand full comment
Shocktreatment's avatar

Congratulations on your new employment!

My first paycheck job was at a country club, not in hospitality, I was a cart mechanic for the centerpiece golf course.

Even back-of-the-house, with limited contact, I found the clientele insufferable...

Here's wishing you a creatively and financially satisfying venture!

Expand full comment
Matthew Hooper's avatar

I have gotten to know several country club members well. I find your assessment accurate.

Expand full comment
JR's avatar

Just wondering if Max Miller might be one of those CC members... hunting for his 3rd wife after divorcing Sen. Bernie Moreno's daughter. Bro seems like a peach, take the pun if you wish. I can wait til the check clears.

Expand full comment
JCfromNC's avatar

Possibly stupid question: Do you peel the peaches before poaching them?

Expand full comment
Appalachian in Thailand's avatar

Trump does, IYKWIM!

Expand full comment
Matthew Hooper's avatar

Only stupid question is the unasked one. No, you don’t need to peel the peaches before poaching. They’re much easier to peel after poaching, in fact.

Expand full comment
lordpnut's avatar

No, we just shoot them right from the road.

Expand full comment
Shocktreatment's avatar

They just stand there!

Expand full comment
AJ Milne's avatar

‘Last weekend at the country club’ has this quality. Like this is going somewhere I want to be a bystander.

(Or witness.)

Expand full comment
Shocktreatment's avatar

"Milne? This is a subpoena to appear, you've been served..."

Expand full comment
Sister Artemis's avatar

Hooper, this sounds almost delicious, except that I am NOT a cherry person (because it tastes like cherry cough syrup!). Any suggestions for a substitute?

Expand full comment
Matthew Hooper's avatar

Dry vermouth makes for a light, ethereal version of this cocktail, instead of a rich, decadent one. Not the same drink, but not bad either.

Expand full comment
Sister Artemis's avatar

Thanks!

Expand full comment
Michael Bowen's avatar

Sadly, Medina is (checks phone) approximately 7 hours and 8 minutes away from here. Shame. I could have become a regular, and I tip well.

Expand full comment
NatalyaResists's avatar

Oh gosh! Bought a 1/2 peck of local peaches today. Will make a pie and this drink this weekend. Thank you!

Congratulations on your new gig!

Expand full comment
Gammarae's avatar

I will be turning 75 at about the same time as you begin your new adventure. I will come on down to Medina and check it out. :)

Expand full comment
The Estivating Hibernian's avatar

You're coming to the CLE wonkmeet, yeah?

Expand full comment
Gammarae's avatar

haven't heard anything from my daughter about birthdays yet, but she's still got a few days to drop it on me. otherwise, i will look forward to seeing all the wonkers!

Expand full comment
Grindstone, Sister FoulMouth's avatar

Can I use Luxardo instead of Heering?

Expand full comment
Matthew Hooper's avatar

Very different liquors. Luxardo is pure cherry flavor; Heering is herbal and bittersweet. Substitute at your own risk.

Expand full comment
DV Thrombossa Nova's avatar

Ooh. That's a thought. We've been burned by a couple of off- the-wall ingredients. I'm not buying cherry heering. I was going to try the sweet vermouth but Luxardo syrup sounds better.

Expand full comment
"M"'s avatar

This is an important question

*waits patiently*

Expand full comment
TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

This sounds so delish.

Expand full comment
UVB-76's avatar

Everything stops being fun at some point. Be easy.

Expand full comment
Schmannity's avatar

Next week, Mens' Grille Madness

Expand full comment
"M"'s avatar

If you have a chance to have a word with the Seelbach's people (which is where the Cohasset people send people who need to buy Cohasset elsewhere than JB Pritzker's state containing Chicago) --

please tell them they might do better at getting ladies to buy their wares if they ask a simple "are you over 21? yes/no" the way that Cohasset does, instead of requiring us to punch in our month, day, & year when there are ICE raids & Palantir tries to track people and also there is still age discrimination

https://www.cohassetpunch.com/buy

Even the big makeup online stores have learned that lesson and when trying to trick us into offering up our demographics via birthday gifts, have learned to ask only the month and day, lol

Expand full comment
Shocktreatment's avatar

Some streaming services are sending their product to a very old (112 this year, but still vigorous!) Joe DiMaggio, while Netflix delivers to Richard Feynman who is also aging well...

Expand full comment
Jamoche's avatar

I never enter my actual year, too much scrolling to get to it. Anything with a 19 in front of it will do.

Expand full comment
swmnguy's avatar

So is Medina OH funky and cold? Medina MN can be at the right time of year.

Expand full comment
AJ Milne's avatar

You better be sure

That your pour is pure

Expand full comment
Gammarae's avatar

medina ohio is R territory; need anything else be said?

Expand full comment
Molesworth One and a Half's avatar

OMG after scrolling past this eleventy times I finally got it

Expand full comment
Molesworth One and a Half's avatar

(I lived in Ohio for a spell and know that it's pronounced Mah-dinah OH so it took me a bit)

Expand full comment
Matthew Hooper's avatar

It is certainly cold. It is as funky as a Nilla wafer. I want to move to NOLA for a few reasons. That’s one of them.

Expand full comment
Elviouslyqueer's avatar

NOLA is definitely an acquired taste. I love being so close, but I'm also well aware that distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Expand full comment
"M"'s avatar

Are you at the Netroots Conference right now w/Resistance?

Bc the virtual app is ... an experience, lol

Expand full comment
The Covfefes ASAP!'s avatar

Where do we post country club questions? I'm curious about the guy everyone talks about.

Expand full comment
Matthew Hooper's avatar

Next week.

Expand full comment
JanuaryClaire's avatar

I can't wait to hear stories!

Expand full comment
Susanneh's avatar

Same!

Expand full comment
Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

Well, despite my discontent about it, Monday is here again. I do NOT want to go to work today as I still have practically nothing to do. That will change in about a year or two, but for now, I don't have shit and I am trying to enjoy it while I can. Normally I would have some sort of work side-project to do--writing papers, etc., but I haven't really found much to get into. Lots of thumb twittling.

I had a wonderful, beautiful, and delightful visit with kink partner this weekend. He's managed to come up with some plans that he hopes will raise the money to save his shop, and lord I hope it does. He seemed in a much more hopeful mood than I have seen him in since we started seeing each other again in the spring. Aside from the bad tooth, kink partner seems to be doing really good, which thrills me.

I mentioned a few days ago that someone gave kink partner "Chinese herbs" that I suspected were kratom, but it turned out to be pu ji xiao du yin, a poppy tea. When I told him what the herbs were he said, "Oh, that's why they help with my tooth," and we talked about potential side effects of taking them (constipation, habit forming, etc.) and he says he's prepared to feel like he's got the flu when he stops taking them after he finally gets his tooth fixed.

This morning was my first day with my nespresso machine and it is wonderful. I add just a touch of unsweetened coconut milk to the espresso and it is JUST PERFECT. All you need is a tiny shot of espresso to have a wonderful day.

Fuck that orange bag of shit and all his friends.

Expand full comment
Rags's avatar

So is TFG going to give Alaska to vlad in exchange for a couple billion bucks for his "presidential library"?

Expand full comment
Dina's avatar

Ugh, news is just...ugh. I'd love to hang out with yous guys but I've decided to watch "Back to the Future, Part III" until it's time to get showered and dressed to go to our favorite microbrewery taproom for the evening and get a tad tipsy on beer...

Expand full comment
Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Time for my morning stretch!

Only recently I made a connection between our current world of woe and the ancient Greeks whose mythology is still being mined by Hollywood.

Among those olde Grecian Formulas for myths is the story of the Minotaur, a hybrid monster where a human man was born with a bull's whole upper body. This particular nightmare was the son of a conniving king of Crete named Minos. The story of how it was conceived is long and VERY perverse. But the short version is that the conniving king had a Queen (named Pasiphaë) and she liked a certain bull in the royal herd way too much. The monstrous product of the union was impervious to all conventional harm and only ate one thing: virgin children.

It was "controlled" by being imprisoned in a labyrinth under the royal palace where the king hoped no one would ever discover the king's secret shame. All the human children fed to the Minotaur came as tribute from conquered foreign vassals so the people of Crete never missed any of their own children and so never guessed the king was keeping a monster in his basement.

The Minotaur was destroyed by a young demigod hero named Theseus. There are still many ancient Greek and Roman wall paintings / mosaics illustrating Theseus going about his heroic adventures. Every such painting / mosaic has Theseus getting the job done with no pants on. Is it too much of a stretch to say that Theseus was ONE OF US?

Expand full comment
SkeptiKC's avatar

This fat fascist fuck is going to start WWIII.

Jaysus but I wish that I was kidding.

Expand full comment
Mister Bubbles's avatar

Easier for him to stay in office that way. Enact all the "war powers", call off elections, seal the dick tater deal.

Expand full comment
The Covfefes ASAP!'s avatar

Probably. And he'll end up like Napoleon. How many countries in the western hemisphere will align themselves with him? And if European or Asian countries got involved? How would that work? I feel like China has a role to play here.

Expand full comment
Jens TINGLEFF's avatar

Thank you. Was just having watermelon :-)

Expand full comment
Parakeetist's avatar

Your Birb is watching Wolverhampton vs. Celta Vigo. Early in the first half. No score yet.

Expand full comment
Shocktreatment's avatar

Evidently, Outlook has given the spam detector a weekend off...

𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗙𝗲𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗣𝗮𝗹𝗲? 𝗗𝗼 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗦𝗺𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗔𝗺𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗶𝗮?

"No, darker than a conservative's heart, and they smell like rose petals..."

I have to presume, like telemarketing a generation ago, it makes enough money to continue, despite the prevailing opinions.

Expand full comment
The Covfefes ASAP!'s avatar

I don't get those emails, luckily.

Expand full comment
Shocktreatment's avatar

Mine have gone from the boner pill peddlers to the ones that cater to varieties of hypochondriac, those losing their hair and those in need of medical devices (Orthopedic underpants? 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺?)

They may know something that I don't...

Expand full comment
The Covfefes ASAP!'s avatar

They can track your activity so maybe?

Expand full comment
Thixotropickle's avatar

"Excrementally, my dear sphincter."

Expand full comment
satch's avatar

Saw the final episode of Resident Alien last night. Harry talks about how he came to the conclusion that Earth should be spared because humans are basically kind, compassionate, and capable of love. Then I read about the latest TFG/Repunk atrocity, and I wonder if it's possible for Harry to just kill them...

Expand full comment
VaselineHabits's avatar

Sad it got canceled, I'm only on S2 but I see where they're going with it.

I feel that way about any positive American media now. Our nation is a fucking joke

Expand full comment
satch's avatar

Sorry for the spoiler

Expand full comment
VaselineHabits's avatar

No worries! I REALLY need to catch up 😅

Expand full comment
JCfromNC's avatar

I heard the other day they've decided not to give the show another season. Boo!

Expand full comment
Rosy red ASS's avatar

😈

Expand full comment
JCfromNC's avatar

Good to know it's not just the US that sucks at sex ed, I guess?

"Nearly Half of UK Women Don't Know How Many "Holes" They Have Down There, Survey Finds", IFLScience

https://www.iflscience.com/nearly-half-of-uk-women-dont-know-how-many-holes-they-have-down-there-survey-finds-59888

Expand full comment
Thixotropickle's avatar

At that rate they'll never figure out how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall

Expand full comment
SkeptiKC's avatar

You beat me to it.

Expand full comment
GiggleSnort's avatar

I vaguely remember my wife at one point instructing our little girl about her anatomy in that region.

Expand full comment
Bobathonic's avatar

Is it a sex ed failure or a maths ed failure?

Expand full comment
Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

The earliest math was all done with fingers.

But even earlier than the digital math was the digital sex ed.

Expand full comment
JCfromNC's avatar

No, more sex ed -- first they were told to list the holes, then they were given a diagram and asked to label everything.

Expand full comment
Rosy red ASS's avatar

WTF?????

Expand full comment
JCfromNC's avatar

Yeah, according to the article only 35% of respondents identified the urethra. And then a bunch of them confused it with the clitoris.

Expand full comment
Rosy red ASS's avatar

Well, I guess it’s good to know we aren’t the only STUPIDS but WOW.

Expand full comment
Dina's avatar

Yeah, I live here...Muricans aren't the only stupids, believe me...🥳

Expand full comment
AJ Milne's avatar

Searching on a nearby shoe store to check the hours (thinking might need a new pair of desert boot things when I bought some there years ago because shoe repair really isn’t gonna be able to refurbish the leather of those I think) the AI answer the search engine insists on including (I forgot to say -ai) is odd...

... the blurb is basically right. Describes what they sell. But pictures and icons at the top of it say they sell healthy fast food...

... food looks pretty good. Salad bowls topped with I think chicken, maybe some kinda curry soup?

I’ll have to let them know they have branched out.

Expand full comment
Menotsure's avatar

Big Balls discovered that Karma carries a big bat and now, as a result, Trump is threatening the city with a Federal takeover. Home rule is just about the only political influence that residents of DC have and it is now under threat. Lord Donald wants a fiefdom.

Expand full comment
Rosy red ASS's avatar

I wonder if the orange "king" paid the attackers with crypto.

Expand full comment
Suzie Greenburg's avatar

Oh so I just recently learned that I need to rinse rice before cooking. I made a rice dish last night and it absolutely made a huge difference.

Rinse your rice!

Expand full comment
DV Thrombossa Nova's avatar

I, too, was late to the rice rinsing party. Now my rice is lighter and fluffier!

Expand full comment
Suzie Greenburg's avatar

I’m just amazed at what this ONE WEIRD TRICK has done for my rice!

Expand full comment
Birb-General of the US's avatar

I think it helps reduce the inorganic arsenic level too. Was reading about that lately.

Expand full comment
Suzie Greenburg's avatar

That was part of what I just learned! Probably the more important bit now that you mention it

Expand full comment
GiggleSnort's avatar

Trump Admin. is reportedly considering a pardon for Changpeng Zhao, the founder of crypto firm Binance, who is in prison for money laundering (https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/09/us/politics/changpeng-zhao-pardon-trump.html?unlocked_article_code=1.c08.JflH.kYfo5_9nLxZo&smid=url-share). Also maybe considering pardoning the firm itself for similar charges (it settled the case for a fine of $4.3 billion). Binance has a deal with Trump's crypto firm, World Liberty Financial, and the speculation is that a pardon might grease the way to more and bigger deals. Conflict of interest is a feature, not a bug, for this Adminstration.

Expand full comment
Bobathonic's avatar

What conflict? The king has an interest in everything.

Expand full comment
TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

But of course.

Expand full comment
Bupkus231's avatar

I just saw that FFOTUS has fired Billy Long as IRS Commissioner, without explanation. Apparently, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent will become acting IRS Commissioner ( another FFOTUS appointee given more than one job title ).

Long is going to follow Mike Waltz's footsteps after getting fired - Waltz was named Ambassador to the Court of St. James following his firing, and Long is apparently going to be named ambassador to Iceland ( Sorry, Iceland ! )

Expand full comment
Rosy red ASS's avatar

God this timeline SUCKS. WAKE UP ROSY!!! (didn't work)

Expand full comment
Bupkus231's avatar

As it is, I guess I'm a little behind the times - this was reported at Maddowblog yesterday afternoon.

Also at Maddowblog yesterday afternoon, FFOTUS taint-licker Ed Martin has been named as the "special attorney" ( I guess this title is to avoid any of the restrictions on "special counsels" ) to investigate ( and, knowing Martin, try to prosecute, even if he doesn't find anything ) both Letitia James and Adam Schiff for "mortgage fraud", as well as the James' office as the NY Attorney General.

The suckage will continue as long as any of these FFOTUS assholes are in office.

Expand full comment
Rosy red ASS's avatar

Jesus FUCK! WAKE UP ROSY, IT'S A NIGHTMARE!!! (nope, still didn't work)

Expand full comment