Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Angos In America!

Cocktail bitter, party of one.

Kinda proud of the garnish on this one.

Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. Today, at the special request of Yr Editrix, we’re going to talk about bitters — what they are, how to use them, and when to go crazy with some of the new styles of bitters you’ll see on the liquor store shelf. Let’s start with this buck-wild monstrosity of a cocktail. No way I’d leave you high and dry this weekend. Time for my take on the Trinidad Sour, the Angos in America:

Angos In America

1 ½ oz Angostura bitters

½ oz Appleton Estate Jamaican Rum

¾ oz lemon juice

1 oz orgeat

Add all ingredients to a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake until chilled. Strain into a Nick and Nora glass. 

This drink gives you a nice cinnamon and spice kick before punching you in the face with a bittersweet flavor — emphasis on the “bitter.” The orgeat is a thick, sweet almond syrup that adds structure and sweetness to the drink. The lemon juice adds some acidic balance to the sweet orgeat. The rum gives us a little stability in a completely unbalanced drink. 

But it’s the Angostura bitters that are the star of this show. The intense herbal, bitter flavor of Angostura is like nothing else. Most bars have a bottle of this kicking around behind the rail; it’s a traditional ingredient in Old Fashioneds and Manhattans. But bitters have been around much longer than the invention of the cocktail. Before someone got the idea of tossing them into booze, aromatic bitters were “patent medicine” — the sort of thing snake oil salesmen sold. Bitters as medicine isn’t a horrible idea, really. All bitters use high proof alcohol for a base. It’s a great solvent for any sort of dry herb or spice; a shelf-stable, long-lasting herbal remedy is a good idea. Assuming that you’re consuming it in the hopes of curing something, of course. A bottle of Chamberlain's Colic and Diarrhea Remedy was 90 proof alcohol, 10 percent ether, a dash of chloroform, and a few other scary-sounding ingredients. Can’t cough if you’re unconscious, I suppose. 

In 1906, the United States passed the Pure Food and Drug Act, and the patent medicine business was shut down (exceptions for the frauds selling “colloidal silver”). Angostura lived on, though — it was called out as an ingredient in some of the first cocktail recipes, and the Siegert family kept the brand going strong. (Not without some growing pains, mind you. When their father passed on, his sons entered their elixir into a contest. One brother ordered the bottles, one ordered the labels, and the brothers' communication skills were … lacking.) 

Bitters are the spice for your cocktail, like salt and pepper on your steak. The core spice of Angostura, gentian root, really is the “salt” in this analogy. Gentian is intensely bitter, but the bitterness hits right in the front of your mouth and the tip of your tongue, where all the flavors of a cocktail land. It’s a perfect way to add a slight bitterness to a sweet cocktail. I find that some Angostura can help meld disparate flavors in a drink. It’s not just for cocktails, either — I’ve made snack mixes with bitters, and they are a wonderful counterpoint to any sweet snack. 

Modern mixology has provided us with a wealth of new flavors of bitters. It’s helpful to think of these new versions of bitters as new spice blends for your kitchen. Think about what spices go with the core flavors in a glass, and you’re on the right track. Here’s a quick rundown of some of the options you’ll find. Don’t be shy with these bitters; one of the best bartenders I ever met tripled the bitters in every recipe he encountered. Customers loved him for it. 

Group photo, crowd in everybody. Let me know if you want a better picture of the mason jar of booze and spice. It’s not that exciting, I promise.

Orange bitters: Less spicy and more citrus than Angostura. Ends up in most of my rum drinks and sours — this is the one I’m always running out of.

Peychaud’s Bitters: Lots of licorice root flavor. Boosts the flavor profile of sweet ingredients. A classic New Orleans flavor, necessary for Sazeracs. 

Cocoa Bitters: Think cacao powder, not chocolate. Good for bourbon in combination with cherry or maple flavors. Ideal with aged tequila. 

Hellfire Bitters: SPICY. Very much a tequila bitters. Consider for a Bloody Mary. 

Celery Bitters: Perfect for Bloody Marys. I use this instead of a celery stick in my Bloody Marys every time — Bloody Marys should be drinks, not appetizer plates. 

Bohemian Bitters: This was a very welcome gift. Chocolate and cherry flavors; great for bourbon. Better than Angostura in my Old Fashioneds. 

Hummingbird Bitters: Floral and citrus; a neat alternative to citrus bitters. I use this with Irish Whiskey. I’d like to try it in a sake cocktail. 

If none of these grab you, make your own. Seriously, bitters take time, but making your own concoction isn’t hard. I’ve tossed this together today, using this recipe as a template. I’ll report back in April and let you know how it goes. Use whatever spice blend you like — I might even use a few bags of my favorite herbal tea.

Hooper’s Pirate Bitters

1 cup Everclear

2 T gentian root

2 T powdered lime

1 T allspice berries

1 T whole cloves

1 T black peppercorn

2 2-inch cinnamon sticks

Place all ingredients in a jar and let sit for three weeks, shaking the jar every two days. Strain through a cheesecloth and store in a cool dry place. 

In summary and conclusion, drink well, drink often, and tip your bartender — donate to Wonkette at the link below!  

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