Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Original Mai Tai!

It's Memorial Day Weekend. Hooper's going to the tiki bar to relax.

Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. It’s my birthday week, and I celebrated by going to Tiki Underground. I love classic tiki drinks. And this, my beloved readers, is my absolutely favorite tiki drink, at my favorite tiki bar of all time. Is it the best drink ever? I think so. A lot of other tiki nerds think so. Let me share this no-holds-barred classic version of the drink and spill the dirt on some interesting gossip surrounding this beauty. Let’s share a classic mai tai. Here’s the recipe.

Mai Tai

2 oz Highest quality Jamaican rum

½ oz Pierre Ferrand Dry Curacao

¼ oz vanilla simple syrup

½ oz orgeat

¾ oz fresh lime juice

1-2 drops saline

Shake all ingredients. Pour into a mai tai glass. Garnish with a sprig of fresh mint, a Luxardo cherry, and a collectible swizzle stick.

A bartender’s favorite cocktail is the one that someone else makes for them. And this mai tai, expertly crafted by the GM of Tiki Underground, is my favorite drink on their menu. This drink is an absolute legend among the tiki set.

The year was 1944. As Trader Vic tells it, he was sitting around the bar after hours with Ham and Carrie Guild, two Tahitian friends of his. He “..took down a bottle of 17 year old rum. It was J. Wray and Nephew from Jamaica; surprisingly golden in color, medium-bodied, but with the rich pungent flavor particular to the Jamaican blends.” He combined this with some bar standards — orange curacao, rock candy syrup, lime juice, and orgeat (an almond syrup). When Carrie tasted the drink, she shouted, “Maita’i Roe A’e!” — Tahitian for “out of this world — the best.”

Rum fanatics have been obsessed with this story ever since Trader Vic told it. Specifically, that 17-year-old Jamaican rum has everyone’s attention. No one has any records of 17-year-old rum being sold on the open market at that time. Trader Vic did get some special bottles from distributors, and we’ve found some empty bottles of this magical elixir. But no one really knows what that original Mai Tai Trader Vic poured for the Guilds tasted like.

Or, at least, we didn’t until this year. On one hand, Wray and Nephew released six bottles of the magical 17-year Wray and Nephew from their cellars. The Merchant Hotel in Belfast, Ireland, bought them at a price of $51,000 — each . If you go to the Merchant Hotel, you can have a Mai Tai made with exactly the same ingredients Trader Vic used. That lovely cocktail will cost you $1,475. That’s per drink, mind you. Did I mention it was my birthday week?

Admittedly, that’s a bit pricey. But fear not, there’s another possibility. Appleton Estate, the owners of Wray and Nephew, plans to release a “17 Year Legend” bottle this year. According to Appleton, this rum is a perfect recreation of the 17-year-old Wray and Nephew, built from existing rum stock in their distillery. They’re only releasing 1500 bottles. They’re probably going to sell for at least $300 each, assuming you can get one. But one can dream. I did mention it’s my birthday week, right?

Assuming you aren’t made of money, let’s talk about some more realistic ingredients:

Highest Quality Jamaican Rum :  Jamaican rum is like no other rum on earth. It’s funky, earthy, and tropical. It reminds me of nothing as much as overripe bananas. Tasting Jamaican rum is like tasting truffles; you’ll either fall in love with the flavor or hate it. There’s no middle ground. You absolutely must use a Jamaican rum here; Mount Gay just won’t cut it. I’d recommend Appleton Estate or Smith and Cross. They’re both fabulous.

Bartender shot. Jess is the GM of Tiki Underground. I loved working for her so much. Maybe the stars will align and I'll pull a shift at the new joint someday. Matthew Hooper 

Pierre Ferrand Dry Curacao: A not-too-sweet, herbal curacao that’s not hard to find. Grand Marnier is usable in a pinch, but I’m being a snob this time around and recommending you find the real deal.

Vanilla simple syrup: 1 part sugar, 1 part water, and a whole vanilla bean. Heat until the sugar’s completely melted. Store and use liberally in your summer cocktails. This stuff is magic with fruit.

Orgeat: A thick, almond milk-based syrup. I’ve seen lots of variations on this ingredient. One bar I worked at made an orgeat out of pistachios that was peanut-butter thick. I’ve seen homemade versions involving sugar and all-natural almond milk, but they’re never thick enough to give a cocktail the needed body.Buy some from Amazon , or go to your local tiki bar to have this drink made properly for you. (The Amazon link kicks back some money to Wonkette.)

Saline: Only a drop or two, to enhance flavors. You don’t want the drink to taste salty.

Garnishes: The mint is absolutely essential. The aroma of mint as you bring the glass to your face enhances the drink. Slap your mint sprig once on the bar before placing it into the cup. The cherry’s not explicitly needed, but it is a treat.

In summary and conclusion, drink well, drink often, and tip your bartender — donate to Wonkette at the link below! Seriously, my boss is awesome, if you like reading my recipes please chip in! And if you'd like to buy some bar gear or books from Amazon, please click here! 

OPEN THREAD!