Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Porn Star Martini!

Shake it until you make it.

Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender, and my oh my, what a week it’s been! I decided early on that it was time to try something new for this week’s cocktail — something tart, and sweet, and exotic. Let’s explore something off the beaten path and make a Porn Star Martini. Here’s the recipe.

Porn Star Martini

2 oz Stoli Vanilla Vodka

1 oz Unstuck Passion Fruit

½ oz vanilla simple syrup

½ oz fresh lime juice

2 oz Martini & Rossi Prosecco wine, chilled

Shake all ingredients except for the sparking wine and strain into a chilled martini glass. Serve the sparkling wine as a chaser in a chilled shot glass.

First off, a word of warning:  When researching this recipe, do not Google “Pornstar Martini.” You will regret it. The cocktail is a Porn Star Martini, and it was created by Douglas Ankrah in London in the early 2000s. According to legend, he thought it was the sort of drink a porn star would order (although some spicier stories suggest he was inspired after a visit to a gentlemen’s club in Cape Town, South Africa).

You’d think that a drink with such a lowbrow name might not be much, but it’s actually quite good. If I wanted to show someone what passion fruit tastes like, I’d give them this cocktail. The tart passion fruit is front and center, but the vanilla supports it in ways I didn’t expect. Passion fruit and vanilla are a natural pairing, like chocolate and peanut butter. The mellow vanilla takes the edge off the acid in the passion fruit very well. It’s the sort of flavor combination that would be fantastic as a cake filling.

The champagne on the side is also a touch of brilliance. The cocktail is a little too rich after a few sips. The bubbles in the champagne cut through the cloying notes of the passion fruit, a bit like having coffee while eating a rich dessert. It’s also a cute nod to the “porn star” aspect of the drink without being obnoxious. Champagne is such an intimate sort of wine, after all.

Let’s talk ingredients:

Ingredient shot. The cocktail sashayed off seductively shortly after this photo was taken. Matthew Hooper 

Stoli Vanilla Vodka: I’m normally a huge fan of all natural flavors in a cocktail. If you’d prefer to stick a vanilla bean into some nice vodka and wait a week, by all means do so. However, the chemical that gives artificial vanilla its “vanilla” flavor is the same chemical that you’ll find in natural vanilla. All-natural doesn’t gain you a huge amount in terms of flavor here.

Vanilla vodka is a solid foundation for any dessert martini. I use it for chocolate martinis all the time. If you like your after-dinner drinks served in a martini glass, keep a bottle of this as a bar staple. This time, however, the vanilla plays a major supporting role. If you can afford it, and find it, you might want to swap ½ oz. of this vodka with a good passion fruit liqueur. But that’s somewhat of an investment for a cocktail like this. Vanilla vodka alone will do fine as your alcohol base.

Unstuck Passion Fruit: Unstuck’s mission as a brand is to help refugees find jobs. The goal is very worthy, but I’ve also got a practical reason for choosing this brand of passion fruit. The “bite sized pieces” are roughly ¼ an ounce each, making cocktail measurements for the home bar a snap. Melt 7-8 chunks of passion fruit in the microwave, and you’ll have just enough puree for this cocktail. I hate throwing away a bottle of juice that I only used once for a drink. This stuff will keep for quite some time.

Vanilla simple syrup: Heat 1 cup sugar, 1 cup water, and 1 whole vanilla bean over low heat until the sugar dissolves. Pour everything, vanilla bean and all, into a glass jar and keep refrigerated. It lasts at least a month, and is great in your coffee or tea as a sweetener.

Lime juice: The passion fruit is very tart, but also unctuous. It needs some acid to balance things. I’ll say it until I’m blue in the face: Always use fresh juice. Plastic fruit gives you plastic juice.

Martini & Rossi Prosecco: I think it’s a mistake to use expensive champagne here (unless you uncorked something special early in the week, in which case, go for it). The champagne is a palate cleanser and chaser. The subtleties of something pricey would get lost against the passion fruit.

In summary and conclusion, drink well, drink often, and tip your bartender — donate to Wonkette at the link below! Seriously, my boss is awesome, if you like reading my recipes please chip in! And if you'd like to buy some bar gear or books from Amazon, please click here! 

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