We'll Always Have Paris: Live-Blogging The Democrats' Sposed-To-Be-Snoozy Saturday Debate

Are the Democrats the party of sexxxy Saturday nights? Sure why not.

It's Democratic debate time:  The Hope-You-Weren't-Trying-To-Enjoy-Your-Saturday-Night Edition ! Democrats running for president, plus Martin O'Malley, are gathering to debate Stuff and Things in Iowa. But because of the terrorist attacks in Paris on Friday night, Some Say the candidates should instead debate other Stuff and Things. Like, foreign policy stuff national security war on terra Stuff and Things.

But -- dramatic plot twist! -- then we heard internet rumors that the Sanders campaign wanted to debate the original Stuff and Things, not the new Stuff and Things, because, allegedly , during a conference call with debate host CBS and the other candidates, his representative said, "How can you change the terms of the debate, you know, on the day of the debate. That’s not right."

And then Sanders campaign dude Jeff Weaver said they'd worked it all out and Team Sanders "ended up prevailing" by getting CBS to not change its debate format all that much. And when asked if, given recent events maybe it was appropriate to focus on the recent Stuff and Things, he said, "We have a minute and a half to speak to that."

What does it mean? We have no idea. What are the candidates going to talk about tonight? WHO CAN SAY? Let's watch and find out, on the teevee or on the internets.

Oh, and if you’re just popping in and you LOVE US SO MUCHES for staying up late and making the jokes for you (AND ALSO THE HARD-HITTING ANALYSIS), you should go to our donations page and leave us a little sex tip … or a BIG ONE! Ooh yeah, like that. But no, seriously, give us money, the beer tab for these things is INCREDIBLE.

Your Democratic debate liveblog begins now-ish.