WH Pool Report: Very Funny, Karl

This White House pool report contains images we'd rather do without:

"Doctor Rove" pranced to the back of the cabin with a cloth surgical mask over his face and digits aimed upward as if ready for meatball surgery.

"Dr. Rove is here!" he proclaimed giddily, while refusing to be baited about flu vaccine.

Hijinx ensued. Rove proceeded to massage the scalp of a correspondent with, alas, fewer strands of hair than his "surgeon," who promised -- oddly -- to "make the circumcision," and then added that he had "replaced the defective mental unit." After pronouncing the operation successful, said physician of spin explained that his missing sterile gloves necessitated that he'd had to "go commando" for the procedure.

We understand that this little scene, in typical times, is supposed to make us think that the Bushies areso fucking confidentthey can afford to act like deranged Terry Southern characters in front of a gaggle of reporters. Ha ha. Yes, that confidence translates really well right now! What with missing weapons caches and beheadings and whatnot we love it that the president's brain is running around with his nuts dangling. So to speak.

Full report after the jump.

POOL REPORT #2

27 October 2004

Lancaster, Pa., to Vienna, Ohio, aboard Air Force Juan was mostly uneventful.

However, Halloween came early for your pool shortly after the 12: 17 p.m. departure from the odorous Lancaster field (see previous pool report concerning bovine discharges).

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"Doctor Rove" pranced to the back of the cabin with a cloth surgical mask over his face and digits aimed upward as if ready for meatball surgery.

"Dr. Rove is here!" he proclaimed giddily, while refusing to be baited about flu vaccine.

Hijinx ensued. Rove proceeded to massage the scalp of a correspondent with, alas, fewer strands of hair than his "surgeon," who promised -- oddly -- to "make the circumcision," and then added that he had "replaced the defective mental unit." After pronouncing the operation successful, said physician of spin explained that his missing sterile gloves necessitated that he'd had to "go commando" for the procedure.

Presidential Aircraft landed at 1: 55 p.m., about 15 minutes behind schedule after about 15 minutes of circling the Vienna area.

Potuset Flotus exited AF1 at 2: 01 p.m. with Sen. Zell Miller to cheers from assembled crowd. Potus appeared as enthusiastic as the crowd greeting him, and strode briskly to the nearby aircraft hanger across the runway, waving to firefighters and EMS crews sitting in their emergency vehicles near the plane. Affixed to the side of the grey hangar were two large signs on the building that said, "READY AIR," with an arrow pointing to the left, and "WINNER AVIATION," with an arrow pointing to the right -- Potus entered a door between the two.

James Gordon Meek

New York Daily News