What Are We Changing The Subject *From* When We Bomb A Country's Capital And Kidnap Its President?

Or did Trump just want 'a win'?

Photo by notorious v1ruS on Unsplash

My little brother and I got in a stupid fight a week or two ago. We were talking about the war crimes Trump has been doing out loud, bombing fishing boats and murdering shipwrecked men down off the coast of Venezuela. And my little brother wanted me to agree that sanctions on Venezuela are just as bad as the war crimes. I said I didn’t care about the sanctions; I didn’t know enough about the situation to know whether they were warranted but that I’m not always opposed to sanctions. I think they have real utility with that Putin asshole, for instance. “THEY’RE THEFT” he screeched in that frantic tone where he filibusters really fast and nobody else can say anything, “WE’RE STEALING FROM THEM.” And when I said again I didn’t care about the sanctions, and kept repeating “I care about the war crimes” over and over, he shrieked at me that I was immoral, and I told him to shut his mouth and get the fuck out of my house.

We should have been able to agree on what we agree on: caring about the war crimes. Why did we have to discuss until the point when he could accuse me of being insufficiently Left, and immoral, and uncommitted to Sparkle Motion and a real piece of shit?

I care about the war crimes.

Well my husband just woke me up and it’s 5 a.m. and we’ve bombed the Venezuelan capital and kidnapped its president, just cold spirited him away. Might as well be in the back of a van.

“The United States of America has successfully carried out a large scale strike against Venezuela and its leader, President Nicolas Maduro, who has been, along with his wife, captured and flown out of the Country,” Trump wrote on his Truth Social platform. “This operation was done in conjunction with U.S. Law Enforcement. Details to follow.”

First of all, fuck you so hard. Fuck you so hard for unleashing whatever this specious bullshit will unleash. I’m not reading your Truth Social and I’m not watching your 11 a.m. stroke session where you rot in front of our eyes while proclaiming how Maduro was doing terrorism with all the fentanyl he doesn’t produce and so manly President Tuffandstuff led Seal Team Six to capture him with a Rambo tie around his head and a knife between his teeth.

I don’t know if Stephen Miller wanted to change the subject or if they just wanted a “win,” because of how even Susie Wiles noticed they suck shit.

But here are some things they might be attempting to change the subject from, if it’s not that second part.

• Trump’s child raper best friend and the investigation that now has some “millions” of documents to release.

• Elon Musk’s robot servant posting “sexualized children” on X.

• Jack Smith’s January 6 House testimony.

• Trump’s third (?) cognitive exam, which the doctors for some reason keep asking him to take?

• Hey did we pardon any other criminals this week, simultaneously stopping the requirement that they pay back their victims?

• Nobody liking the Trump Kennedy Center and everybody laughing about his FIFA Peace Prize.

• People really liking that Mamdani guy.

I don’t know, it’s Fuck O’Clock, and I ain’t know shit. But I know what I care about.

I care that we just bombed another country and kidnapped its president and first lady, and if it matters, it was based on fuck and all.

Haha we’re in danger dot gif.