Hey guys, what’s everyone doing the week of August 23? Vacation? Getting the kids ready to go back to school? Well, if you’re not too busy, why not join your fellow patriots and participate in National Impeach Obama Week. Sounds fun and wholesome!
The week is actually going to consist of nine days of protests, because an issue this important cannot be constrained by normal standards of measuring "time." The protests that seem to already be scheduled so far, however, look to be taking place mostly on August 30 around the capitol buildings of almost all the states, plus in front of the White House. So get those Gadsden flags out and limber up your typing fingers so you can email your congressional representatives and ask them to join in. (They will all refuse, because talking about impeachment is a Democratic plot to make Republicans look bad, shut up, it is too.)
What are we impeaching Obama for, anyway? Whadda ya got? The list of offenses includes “governing by dictatorial fiat,” lying, supporting jihadists in Syria, forging his identity documents to make him seem eligible for office (birf sertificat!), his “radical and subversive background,” and “bizarre and erratic behavior, which implies psychological pathology.” As best we can tell, that last one was written with no sense of irony.
The organizers also want you to know that despite recent statements from Congress, even the great President Ford said after Nixon’s resignation that “an ‘impeachable offense’ is whatever the Congress will vote for at a given time.” About five seconds of Googling could have revealed that Ford actually made that statement in 1970, four years before Nixon’s resignation, and he was talking about an effort to impeach Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas, but whatever.
We expect this to go about as well as every other protest that has tried to impeach or arrest Obama over the last six years, but maybe we’re wrong? Nah.
[ National Impeach Obama Week ]
Follow Gary on Twitter. He's, um, busy that week. Yeah, with stuff.
Natural?
You know, morons.