What Kind Of Jackass Buys A 2007 iPhone For $40K?

This is why we must tax the rich.

I have an Android. I've always had an Android. This is partly because the cameras are better (though originally it was because the batteries were replaceable), because the screens don't break as easily, and I am used to them, but it is also because someone once said to me, "Ew, you have an Android? Aren't you embarrassed?" and I'm fucking oppositional in that way. I admittedly kind of hate the iPhone "thing." Like, the thing where people who have new iPhones are shitty to people who have slightly less new iPhones and stand in line for hours for new iPhones.

I used to think that kind of thing was the worst, but today I learned that some asshole spent $40,000 at auction buying a factory-sealed 2007 iPhone. $40,000! To what end? You can't use it, it's not decorative in any capacity, all you can do with it, unless you have figured out time-travel, is tell people, "Hey, I am the asshole who spent $40,000 on an iPhone I can't use" and hope that they are impressed.

Via LCG Auctions :

This factory sealed, first-release example is in exceptional condition. Virtually flawless along the surface and edges, the factory seal is clean with correct seam details and tightness. Labels on the reverse are correctly pristine beneath the seal. All original – no aftermarket stickers or UPC labels on this one. Brand new, never activated. Collectors and investors would be hard pressed to find a superior example. Relevance and rarity comprise a winning formula for this red hot collectible. Model A1203, Order MA712LL/A (8GB), Authenticity fully guaranteed by LCG Auctions.  
 

There were 28 bids, starting at $2,500. There was actual competition for this. 

You know what this tells me? This tells me that we are not taxing the wealthy nearly enough. They have too much money. If there is anyone out there going, "Yes, I can spend $40,000 on a cardboard box with a 2007 iPhone in it," then we need to be taxing them more in order to keep them from making such stupid decisions. We need to take that money and put it towards things that will actually make this country a better place for everyone to live — including douchebags who spend $40,000 on boxed iPhones.

We don't have universal health care, we don't have childcare, we don't have parental leave, we don't have subsidized public college, we don't have subsidized medical school, we don't have a living wage — we have jerks spending $40,000 on 2007 iPhones that didn't end up in landfills. That is what we have. It's not good enough.

Now, I'm not saying that everyone should be required to spend their money responsibly and never splurge on something special. I'm not preaching austerity here. Hell, if I hit the lotto, I'd probably buy at least some couture. But there's something galling about hearing that some rich asshole spent $40,000 on this bland ass piece of nothing, knowing that they are probably also complaining about their taxes and blaming inflation on poor people wanting to be paid enough to live on.

How about this? In exchange for paying their taxes, we can give rich people a similarly worthless piece of junk that they can brag to their friends about. Perhaps an NFT of some kind? We can even do it PBS style, with various tiers getting various rewards, starting with a (factory-sealed) tote bag. Gimme a hair dryer and some shrink wrap and I'll be more than happy to get it started.

 Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons .

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