What The F*ck Was That?
Dipshit was mad, so Dipshit went to the Rose Garden to whine at America. This is our president.
Well, lordy Jesus, that was 10 minutes of our life we're never going to get back.
A few minutes ago, all the reporters on Twitter started saying, "Um, we are getting called to the Rose Garden and we don't know why." Democrats were supposed to be meeting with Trump about Infrastructure Week, but instead, this was happening:
Trump appears to be calling reporters to the Rose Garden to do an in-person version of his tweets from the past wee… https: //t.co/R881PnCxJ2
— Kevin Liptak (@Kevin Liptak) 1558539248.0
Hooray! There was a sign in the Rose Garden! It said how big the Mueller Investigation was! And most importantly the Mueller Investigation said NO COLLUSION, NO OBSTRUCTION, PREZNIT TRUMP GOOD, NOT A RUSSIAN.
(It did not say that. Not even a little bit. And just this morning , House Intel Committee Chair Adam Schiff announced a surely temporary detente with the Justice Department because it's FINALLYFUCKINGFINALLY agreed to start handing over counter-intel information from the investigation to the committee. Just this morning .)
Look, Preznit No Russias held the sign!
Anyway, as we were saying, Trump was supposed to be doing an Infrastructure Week meeting with some Dems, but he got mad and waddled his greasy butt right out of there to go say NO COLLUSION to the Rose Garden.
NO. 2 SENATE DEMOCRAT DURBIN SAYS TRUMP WALKED OUT OF INFRASTRUCTURE MEETING WITH CONGRESSIONAL LEADERS DURBIN SAY… https: //t.co/vSzA0A1BND
— Carl Quintanilla (@Carl Quintanilla) 1558540664.0
Some people in White House were like "No, Preznit NoRussia McGreasyButt, don't go down there!" but we guess they didn't try hard enough.
New: Some WH aides close to President Trump tried to stop him for marching to the Rose Garden to denounce Democrats… https://t.co/6fnokYKsDW
— Ben Siegel (@Ben Siegel) 1558540676.0
So there the president found himself in the Rose Garden, and he had a sign, and everything he said was basically everything he tweets. Maybe his little tiny hands are too achy for a tweet storm right now, and all they could lift was that sign?
And so it was that the president of the United States sniffed and he sniffed and he said NO COLLUSION and he said Jerry Nadler sucks and he read words from a Wall Street Journal op-ed that said NO COLLUSION and he told those Democrats that if they don't stop their investigations right now, then they won't get to join in the big Infrastructure Week party Donald Trump, President Of Accomplishments, is throwing, and won't they be sad then?
NO COLLUSION!
And, um ... the end, we guess?
Literally, that was it. Dipshit was mad, so Dipshit went to the Rose Garden to whine.
If you want some video for some reason (just to check if Wonkette is lyin' at ya, probably!) here you go. As Aaron Rupar points out, fucker's mouth seemed to be on the fritz again:
[ia_video https: //s3.amazonaws.com/roar-assets-auto.rbl.ms/runner%2F12289-trumprosegarden.mp4 source="https://s3.amazonaws.com/roar-assets-auto.rbl.ms/runner%2F12289-trumprosegarden.mp4" autoplay=true feedbacks=true shortcode_id=1558541502387 expand=1 ]
What a special American moment this has been, God bless us everyone, etc.
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!
Wonkette is ad-free and funded ONLY by YOU, our dear readers. If you love Wonkette, SUPPORT WONKETTE.
no surprise there. the same base that is still waiting for Dump's team to find that birth certificate in Hawaii - or the secret Whitey Tapes - or Vince Foster's smoking gun - or I've totally lost track of WTF they are counting on bringing down the Dems now.
and, against all odds, his tongue did not burn with fire. It's hard for your pants to catch on fire when your depends are full of piss.