What Will You Give The Wonkette Top Ten For A Basket Of Kisses?
If you don't have the right answer, we may have to murder you with our tap shoes.
Good morning!
I have no idea what to write here this morning, so I am just going to bless your life with the information that Tim Curry, who is the best, once covered my favorite Joni Mitchell song. The video on this isn't great, and this is a better audio version, but it's still great to see him bopping around.
I don't know why it exists, how it exists, but I am so glad it does. Though I'm a little bummed that he changed the line "Gonna rip my stockings in some jukebox dive."
Tim Curry - All I Want www.youtube.com
ETA: So this song is about James Taylor, which I knew because I think my mom told me at some point and it was just rattling around in the back of my head somewhere, but what I did not know is that Joni Mitchell literally did "knit him a sweater," which is an extremely enjoyable fact because every time I have ever heard that line, I have thought "Now that is a serious declaration of love right there," because damn that is a lot of work.
Anyway, here are your top ten posts of the week!
10. Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Sidecar!
9. It's All Right, Biden's Getting His Approval Right Back To Where He Started From
8. Michael Flynn Says He Does Not Worship Satan, Which Is Exactly What A Satan Worshiper Would Say
7. Concerned Parents Demand Principal Be Fired For Being Too Metal
6. What Kid Wouldn't Love Dan Crenshaw's Book About The Singing Hippo Who Murdered Cancel Culture?
5. Shock News About Anti-Mask Lawmaker Idiot Who Got Kicked Off Alaska Airlines, You Will Be Shock!
4. Superlawyer Sidney Powell Takes On Deep State Military Vaccines
3. Charlie Kirk So Mad White Conservative Men Banned From Sports Now
2. Guardian Columnist Would Really Like It If Other Women Could Stop Having Boobs, Please
1. Wanna Hear Something REALLY Scary?
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So apparently putting the cat food in the wrong bowl somehow renders it inedible. Sadly, this meant that JT starved to death over the weekend when my son and I visited my Mom for thanksgiving. We were met with this tragic scene. Just a warning for the rest of you so you don't have to suffer the same fate.