Who Is This Little Boy Saying Mike Pence Will Be Trump’s Star Witness?
Just want to pinch his cheek.
Last night on CNN, some folks were confused because there was a chipmunk-cheeked boy on CNN claiming to be Donald Trump’s lawyer, saying Mike Pence was going to probably end up being a star witness for Trump.
It was no stupider than anything else Trump’s lawyers have been saying, that wasn’t the confusing part, but who was this little guy? Nobody had ever seen him!
Look hims with hims chubby little cheeks! Who hims? And why he say Mike Pence will be Trump’s “best witness?” What a silly thing to say! The indictment is literally full of receipts about Trump pressuring Mike Pence to help him overthrow the Republic. The entire plan hinged on trying to peer pressure Pence into doing crimes.
Why he say that! Who hims!
Again, it was no dumber than anything Trump’s current crop of lawyers have been saying. Trump’s lawyers are always the remainders bin of the legal profession, and right now is no different. The current crop has been fucking up so hard — John Lauro on literally every Sunday show this weekend, anyone? — so we just figured there might be some resignations coming from Trump’s legal team, like there usually are, and maybe the temp agency had gone ahead and dispensed a new Trump lawyer in the meantime, just in case.
Or maybe this guy just wandered into the studio and it was all a big mistake and after the segment his mom would call and tell him to get his ass home RIGHT NOW MISTER.
The attorney’s name, it turns out, is Jesse Binnall, and according to the internet he exists, so stop insinuating otherwise.
The CNN anchor was completely befuddled by his argument that Pence could possibly be a witness for the defense, so she played clips of Pence talking this week on the news:
“The day before January 6, if memory serves, they came back, his lawyers did, and said we want you to reject votes outright. This, they were asking me to overturn the election. I had no right to overturn the election,” said Pence.
“What I want the American people to know is that President Trump was wrong then and he’s wrong now. That I had no right to overturn the election, that I had no right to reject or return votes,” said Pence.
Star witness for Trump, everybody.
But oh! said this lawyer and his widdle cheeks and hims big brain! It was his lawyers who told him to do those things! It was on advice of counsel!
Binnall is certainly correct that the indictment names a number of lawyers as (as yet) unindicted co-conspirators, people who worked hand in hand with Trump to overthrow the Republic. And look, we get it. This is a legal strategy, which is why his (current) lawyers are saying it on TV. They desperately need to argue that poor Trump was too helpless and stupid and led astray by bad influence lawyers to bear any culpability for this.
It will be a major part of his defense. It’s bullshit. Trump knew, and was told repeatedly, per the indictment, that his lawyers’ cockamamie schemes for overturning the election were DSM-V-grade clownfuckery. Mike Pence told him. He told Pence, “You’re too honest.”
Anyway, who is this dingleberry Jesse Binnall, and do you need to remember his name? Some guy, and probably nah.
MeidasTouch did a little explainer, reporting that Trump’s PAC has paid the guy over a million bucks in the last six months, and CNN cites him working for the Trump campaign in Nevada, babbling conspiracy theories that “Donald Trump won the state of Nevada after you account for the fraud and irregularities that occurred in the election.” Yeeeeeeah. That’s what we’re dealing with. A second-string Kraken lawyer, or one of Trump’s TOP election fraud lawyers, depending on your perspective.
He’s actually appeared on Wonkette before, in bit roles. This post mentions him implying in court filings way back in 2021 that the Presidential Records Act is unconstitutional, back when Trump was trying to keep his records from the January 6 Committee. This post makes fun of him on related subjects.
Here’s a Wonkette liveblog of a January 6 court hearing, where Binnall made a total ass of himself. “The problem is that Binnall isn't a terrific First Amendment lawyer. Or any other kind of lawyer,” wrote Wonkette’s Liz Dye, a lawyer, in that liveblog.
Remember Trump’s bonkers LOL-suit RICO case against Hillary Clinton, which got dropkicked out of court, and for which he and his other lawyer Alina Habba got sanctioned to the tune of $1 million? Binnall represented Trump and Habba in appealing that.
So yeah, he’s great.
And now he gets to go on TV with his cheeks-es and say Mike Pence will be the bestsest witness for Donald Trump ever.
Wheeeeeee!
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
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BREAKING NEWS! Donald Trump forced to resort to kidnapping chipmunks and other forget creatures to act as "lawyers".
Isn't it great that Republican voters are spending millions on Trump's strip mall TV lawyers instead of other GOP candidates who are actually running for office and are not facing criminal convictions?