Who Run The World? LMAO Not Trump. Tabs, Tues., Apr. 29, 2025

Such a profound loser he just lost the Canadian election.

Apr 29, 2025

Oh hey, ‘sup.

Canada’s Liberal Party has handily won re-election, something nobody thought was going to happen until Donald Trump united Canada in hating Donald Trump more than they hate anybody else in the entire world. Congratulations, Liberals in Canada, on your winning and your correctness! [NBC News]

Donald Trump is under the impression that he is the boss of everything and he rules the world, according to his new Atlantic interview. Who’s going to tell him? No seriously, everybody in the world line up if you want to be in the line to tell Trump to eat your ass. Like Canada did last night! [Atlantic]

The UK and the EU are going to make a “free and open trade” deal with each other, which sounds to our untrained ears like an important step in un-Brexit-ing? This must be more of that Donald Trump running the world! [Politico Europe]

Speaking of people who know how to tell Donald Trump to eat their ass, ladies and gentleladies, Illinois Governor JB Pritzker! He’s getting a lot of attention for this speech calling out “do nothing” Democrats and laying out how to fight back against Republicans. It very much upset Trump Nazi Stephen Miller, who was so startled by it he started whinebitching about Pritzker inciting violence. LOLOKEYDOKE. People may line up to tell Stephen Miller to eat their ass too, but don’t let him actually do it, never know what level of hell that tongue’s been on recently.

Here’s the full speech:

And here’s Stinky Stephen the Undead Buffy villain.

Oh, Stinky Stephen! Go smell the breeze!

Donald Trump has been president for almost 100 days. Sean Hannity — speaking of asslicking! — was up to the task of making it look like Trump has REALLY made a quality difference in people’s lives in that time period.

OK maybe it was the second one.

OK well maybe that was Sean Hannity’s best effort because he’s incredibly stupid.

Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent — who is literally what would come out if you asked the Jim Henson studio to create a wealthy, out-of-touch gay conservative Muppet who was also an unfuckable weirdo, or like maybe he’s like some kind of weird dickslit in a Monty Python movie who runs around riding an imaginary horse looking like he just got smacked upside the head by an anvil — says don’t worry about Trump’s idiot dumbass tariffs leading to empty shelves, he is sure all the retailers have just “pre-ordered” all their wares. Fuc. King. Dipshit. [ABC News]

It sure does sound from these executive orders like Trump is gearing up to try to pull some fascist crackdown shit and launch an attack against the American people. [White House]

Karoline Leavitt says sure, let’s arrest some Supreme Court justices. We bet the Supreme Court heard that one. We know Clarence Thomas and Sam Alito are too busy flicking Trump’s nips to care, but what about the other seven?

I’d like to remind you — at my Friday place! — that these Trump Nazi assholes aren’t strong people inside. They are sad fucking cowards. Don’t ever forget it. You’d better get over there and subscribe if you haven’t yet. [The Moral High Ground]

Gerry Connolly is quitting as the ranking member on the House Oversight Committee due to his cancer. So … now does AOC get the job? Or is there some other stupid reason why still no? [Politico]

A Navy fighter jet fell off an aircraft carrier, doy doy doy doy doy, was it doing its impression of Pete Hegseth at last call? [CNN]

Have you heard about Donald Trump Jr.’s new ultra hot bonerfuck sex club for billionaires where they can all get together and talk about bribing his dad IN PRIVATE? [Politico]

Elon Musk is still the most charisma-free loser reject dork who ever lived.

There is just no one on earth you wouldn’t rather have a beer with than that guy. Jesus fuck. Who wants to bet he’s rehearsing ways to ask Kash Patel for a “Female Breast Inspector” FBI badge but wants to make sure he asks it exactly hilariously enough?

Fiona Apple has made a lovely cover of Neil Young’s “Heart Of Gold.”