390 Comments

Great pic, since it's Talk Like A Pirate Day. Argh, matey, I've got HUUUUGGGEEEE HANDS!

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How about these tanks instead?

https://www.jmesales.com/ab...

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Is now the time we start tweeting/FB posting to the leaders of the free world to come and save us?

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Yar, I be forgettin this day. An' there be Test Reports to write!

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Commander in Chief. That out ranks EVERYBODY. He's like a six star general. Needs a uniform. Lots of Gold Braid. And aviators. And bespoke revolver.

Go on. You know you want to. Come on Wonks. Help him out, tell him he needs a uniform.

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Right? Trevor Noah called this over a year ago! Don't forget MEDALS. He needs MEDALS like his nice friend Sheriff Clarke! FLAIR!

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On behalf of my fellow French, I would like to extend our deepest apologies.Pardon, pardon, pardon, pardon.

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No, no, there's no need. It's not you. We love you. We love Macron. We love Macron's wife. We love your steak frites and poulet roti and crispy fresh-baked baguettes. It's Vlado he's trying to pretend to be. Vlado is BIG and Vlado is STRONG and he wants to be JUST LIKE VLADO. The whole "French" thing is just a cover. And the most pathetic part of it is he's a useless, weak fool who is just being played by Vlado, who is laughing himself sick "More wodka, wait till you see what the moron did today!"

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Donnie's mommy wouldn't let him play army when he was a child, and this is the result.

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Modern tanks are too large to maneuver on DC streets without causing very expensive damage. Even with rubber treads, their weight alone will damage the streets.

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Maybe instead they could use the armoured vehicules they've been handing out to police departments.

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...

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More likely, the Presidential escape tunnel.

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Yes, it's that small.

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LOTS OF MEDALS. Prove he's a hero for surviving the Clap.

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