Why Did Mike Pence Go All The Way To The Olympics To Embarrass America When He Can Just Do That At Home?

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Guys, American Vice President Mike Pence didn't go to the Winter Olympics in PyeongChang just to meet men. He also went to South Korea to embarrass America on the world stage, because a solid minority of Americans voted for a president and vice president who would make us look like shit while nursing their white boy grievances every chance they get.

It started at the opening ceremonies, where Mike Pence and his wife Mother were seated in the dignitaries' box with South Korean President Moon-Jae In and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, and oh by the way, also Kim Jo Yong, sister of Kim Jong Un, the boychild nutbag president dictator of North Korea, and Kim Yong Nam, the very old North Korean man who is the head of North Korea in name only. This was a big deal, as the South and the North have been making interesting moves calculated to lessen tensions on the occasion of these Winter Olympics. It's also a big deal because this is the first time a member of the North Korean dictator's family has ever traveled to South Korea. Kim Jo Yong is hot shit back in her hellhole country, and CBS reports that some even call her the "Ivanka Trump" of North Korea. (They mean she is super close to Kim Jong Un, not that she designs ugly clothes for the remainders rack at the North Korean version of TJ Maxx.)

Pence, seated in that VIP box, ignored Kim Jo Yong so hard he might as well have been carrying a sign that said, "MOTHER AND I ARE IGNORING THAT LADY RIGHT NOW." It was obviously more of a show than the normal thing in the Pence marriage where Mother has convinced him his pecker will catch on fire if he looks at a woman. During the parade of nations, when the host country marched in -- under a unified Korean banner -- everybody stood up and clapped, except Mike Pence and Mother. Some on the internet remarked that it was almost like he was taking a knee or something, not that he would ever .

Here, have a video:

An anonymous White House official says Pence didn't mean nothin' by it, because he only clapped his hands for the Americans anyway. If we accept that charitable interpretation of events, then Mike Pence was obviously raised in a fucking barn, has no class, and doesn't know the proper way to be a house guest.  Time magazine specifically says that according to Asia experts they spoke to, this could be seen as VERY disrespectful. And were the South Koreans in fact offended? David Meeks reports at USA Today  that he tried to get folks to talk about it, but they wouldn't, because they're so goddamned gracious .

More from Time:  

Even Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, who has shared the American skepticism of warming inter-Korean relations, greeted Kim Yong Nam.

At an earlier VIP reception for delegation leaders, Pence arrived late and stayed for just 5 minutes — and did not interact with the delegation from the North.

“The Koreans will think it’s a mood kill,” said Frank Jannuzi, an expert on East Asia at the Mansfield Foundation in Washington. He criticized the Trump administration for straining too hard to signal disgust of Kim Jong Un’s government.

“The grievances that the world has about North Korea are very legitimate. But the Olympic moment that President Moon is trying to generate here is not a time to nurse those grievances,” Jannuzi said. “It’s a time to focus on messages of reconciliation and peace.”

BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT YOU DO AT THE FUCKING OLYMPICS.

God, the entire point of the Olympics -- aside from, you know, being good at sports and hot athletes having incessant international orgies in the Olympic Village once their competitions are over -- is that you DROP IT. You try to be the bigger person, even if you aren't. It's two weeks, people! And hell, what if something good actually did come of it, in the conflict between the two Koreas?

Nobody is saying Mike Pence and Kim Jong Un's sister should have gone shopping together or anything, certainly not unsupervised by Mother, who does not allow such things. But Jesus Christ, could Mike Pence, a little man who serves an even tinier man, have possibly refrained from making America look rude and petty as shit WHILE ALSO weakening our hand for what happens after the Olympic games close, when we all go back to our normal state of hating each other and President Squatter McDipshit starts tweeting about "Rocket Man" again?

To be sure, there is a lot at stake here, and there are many propaganda opportunities for North Korea to be like "Look how good we are being! BRB making more bombs!" That's not gonna fly. But South Korea knows all this, and is allowing it to take place anyway. They have their reasons, clearly. Since it's their peninsula and all, one would think the Americans would follow South Korea's lead and at least try to be polite.

Mike Pence has left Korea to come back and make a mockery of the vice presidency back on American soil, where he belongs. It's just a fucking pity he showed up in the first place.

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[ Time ]