400 Comments
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Fed Up With Fraud's avatar

Pathetic. I couldn’t take my partner to work at the corner shop

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Maybe's avatar

I believe that Hegseth brings his wife to sensitive security meetings because he needs a designated driver.

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Shane's avatar

The same shit-for-brains that bragged about never washing his hands looks like he never washes his hair either. He’s the greasiest tv person I’ve ever seen.

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mary's avatar

Because Mr Rapey's lips is guilty of what? He doesn't remember due to his perpetual drunkenness, but when his wife, dressed in virginal light blue, approaches him, he is hoping no one will challenge him with ugly questions.

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Peteyimage's avatar

Thanks Petty for bringing the wife. I’d be checking out the wife at the all day sausage fest with a bunch of pedo’s. Hope they continue to serve drinks on the job!

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Marcie. Any woman who gets pregnant by a man she knows is married is a piece of shit. Jennifer Raunchette is no exception. If she's his emotional support animal, she should wear a vest that identifies her as such. If she's his flask holder, for shame.

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Maybe's avatar

So, what is the man who gets her pregnant and is the one who is married?

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Robin S Kuykendall's avatar

Does she still feed Fox stories about defense? Keeps the story cleaned up?

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Susan Davis's avatar

Cause she's an un recovering spouse of an un recovering lcoholic and he can't make her stay home She goes to make sure he doesn't make stupid mistakes when she's there. They are playing the Alcoholism Game.

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Anotherangle01's avatar

Overheard at a lunch near Pinewood Studios in 2023:

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So, you want to make a movie where the US Sec. of Defense who is constantly pissed as a fart who get honey trapped by a Russian Spy??? And, then, the Sec of Defense also group texts all of his friends on their personal phones with all the world to see, about the impending attack the US attacking a NATO ally while his new "girlfriend" is next to him. And it's up to James to stop this??? Piss off!!! You'll never work in this town again. Not even Mike Meyers will touch this one with a ten meter pole. The Spy Who Honey Trapped Me?/!1!?!?!! Worst. Bond. Reboot. Ever.

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Overheard at a lunch near Pinewood Studios in 2026:

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So, I guess it's up to us to make the Pete Hegseth Story, AKA, The Spy Who Honey Trapped Me, since America has banned any movies criticizing any current or former members of anyone who has worked for their current Dearest Leader since 2025. See if we can get Adele to remake Nobody Does It Better.

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cdr3's avatar

Excellent piece Marcie! Loved it from start to finish.

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Jnine's avatar

I believe it’s because he’s not very intelligent so his wifey has to go with him so she can explain to him later what was talked about in simpler terms he can understand.

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GrannysKnitting's avatar

I wonder if he's bringing her along to meetings etc because he's afraid she'll run off - like is she a hostage? It fits with the way he treats women - wow i went to a dark place with that

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

You know, because they're married, she has to let him ejaculate on her stomach. It's in the Bible.

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Helen's avatar

Quick! Who said "The law is a ass, a idiot."

If the reply is Dickens, you're sort of correct. And the grammar police are itching to tell me I should say "an ass, an idiot."

Dickens actually put those words in the mouth of Mr Bumble the Beadle in Oliver Twist. You have to read the full passage to get the whole quote, why the grammar is "incorrect:" and why it is used in that context. Too many people only know half the quote and misapply it because they don't know that context. Dickens was certainly critical of many aspects of the law, but he never meant it to be applied to everything legal in any context.

"Dickens said" IOW, is too often shorthand for "I haven't actually read the novel, but I heard this was a quote by Dickens and he's a famous writer so I'll use it."

Context is everything in writing, whether one is referring to literature, the US Constitution, or the Bible. There should be a law that compels people to understand it before vaguely talking about what they think any of these authorities says.

I apologise you if do indeed understand the story of Onan and what in the end happened to him. Because that is the only instance in the Bible in which this happened - and the moral is that God did not approve. You have to cross reference with Leviticus to know why.

I hope you know the Bible well enough to understand that.

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Helen's avatar

Thank you for liking my non comment. I was trying to condense so it wouldn't be TL/DR, and feared it might be rather abrupt.

I shake my head a little at Onan, since I was raised Anglican. By cross checking Leviticus 20:21 with Deuteronomy 25:5-10, I can both flummox those who say the Bible has no contradictions, and then bore the pants off them by explaining the complexities of Henry the Eight's divorce.

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Biff52, aka Scum's avatar

He's a cheater, so he either suspects she is as well, or he knows she is and wants to limit her opportunities?

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Since she was fucking him while he was still married to Samantha, doesn't that make her a cheater also, too?

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Biff52, aka Scum's avatar

Yes it would. I try not to know much about these fine people.

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GrannysKnitting's avatar

i hear there are fires out your way - you ok?

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Biff52, aka Scum's avatar

The Silver fire is about 20 miles north of me. Our volunteer fire department got called out for it. Highway 6 was closed overnight, but reopened around 6:30 this morning. The smoke up against the White Mountains was heavy yesterday, but the wind switched. I haven’t heard any updates since this morning, but I drove to Bishop and back for an appointment, no delays. Thanks for asking, and thanks for even knowing we’re out here!

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GrannysKnitting's avatar

I wonder if he's bringing her along to meetings etc because he's afraid she'll run off - like is she a hostage? It fits with the way he treats women - wow i went to a dark place with that

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diogenez's avatar

I assumed that she's there to make sure he's not drinking.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

Q: Why Is Pete Hegseth Bringing His Third Wife To Sensitive Security Meetings?

A: Because he loses his balance whenever he tries to open a beer by himself.

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Androgenous AF's avatar

A. Because they'll write a book together in a few years...

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Vic's avatar

Help us out here. Is "Jennifer" the one he was cheating with, as he was cheating on the second wife he'd been cheating with on his first wife -- and the same Jennifer he cheated ON, while cheating with another lady?

So much integrity with these people. They'll tell you!

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Hank Napkin's avatar

Like President like SecDef.

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