Why Is The Airplane's Catering Truck Farting, Mommy? Because The President Is In It, Dear.

More lies from President Lies-A-Lot.

Cue Donald Trump screaming about prosecuting leakers again, we reckon, because the Washington Post dropped a whoa bombshell story about a recent time when Donald Trump lied to the world, for a reason that almost approaches normal.

Remember when Trump pulled that switcheroo in Turkey and suddenly “decided” not to come home on his gabillion dollar bribe plane from the Qataris, since it isn’t outfitted with the security required to carry an American president, even though it is very beautiful and bejeweled and was a bribe? Remember how he lied about that at the time, some dumb shit excuse for why there was going to be a switcheroo, because they suddenly needed to send the bribe plane to the UK so everybody could “ooh” and “aah” at it? Remember how he lied and said he was taking the old stinky Air Force One that he hates, “for old time’s sake”?

Also keep this in context of how the Trump regime has already been on a witch hunt for leakers regarding the security failures of his bribe plane.

Well, get ready to stack lies upon lies upon lies, because every single bit of that was a lie, and Donald Trump rode home in a secret Air Force plane after they snuck him off the big old Air Force One plane in a catering truck, because of fears Iran was going to try to assassinate him.

He’s always scared Iran is going to assassinate him, it makes him poop his pants.

Mommy, why is the catering truck shaking to-and-fro and making squelchy anus sounds? Oh that’s just the president, darling.

Here’s how it went:

In Ankara, Trump boarded the old Air Force One jumbo jet in view of television cameras. He was secretly shuttled minutes later to a smaller plane — an Air Force C-32A — via an airport catering truck typically used to load meals and other supplies preflight, according to the U.S. official and corroborating material reviewed by The Post. That made Air Force One a “decoy” with media and some White House staff aboard, the official said.

The old Air Force One with the journalists aboard? Bait. They didn’t know Trump had been wheeled out of there, and they didn’t know how much danger they were in, according to the assessments of Trump’s security team. He was willing to let Iran murder them.

Invite him to the White House Correspondents’ Dinner again, you bootlicking hacks.

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Obviously we are imagining a scene out of a cartoon, because we cannot imagine for one second that Donald Trump was able to behave or play it cool during this experience. We imagine he was scared of being inside the secret truck that took him to the secret plane. We imagine he left puddles inside it.

(They elevated the bed of the catering truck, so he could just waddle directly onto it from the other side of the plane, lest you get some kind of James Bond ideas about how this went down.)

And now, because everybody respects him so much, it’s in the Washington Post a month later.

Anyway, there was much more to the subterfuge, the Washington Post has the tick-tock and even some video that caught parts of the switcheroo. They even managed to get him back on the “correct” plane after landing in Britain, so that he could deplane from it and everybody would still be fooled.

Videos show the legacy Air Force One, after landing, coming to a stop in a place where the C-32A had briefly been parked. The hobbyist videos on YouTube do not show Trump exiting the C-32A or entering the legacy Air Force One, as the stairway entries faced away from the plane spotters’ cameras.

It’s not clear how Trump moved from the C-32A to the legacy Air Force One after landing, but he appeared before television cameras and descended external stairs from the legacy Air Force One about 10:56 p.m., according to a media pool report.

After that, he flew back to DC on the Qatari bribe plane.

On one hand this is exactly what we would expect in the face of true and serious threats upon the life of a sitting United States president. WaPo even describes a couple times when things similar to this have happened, albeit without fully lying to the public forever about the president’s whereabouts the way the Trump White House did:

To transport the president out of Turkey, U.S. officials relied in part on a technique that has occasionally become public knowledge. One such mission occurred in March 2000, when President Bill Clinton visited Pakistan. With television cameras recording in Islamabad, Clinton disembarked from a plain white jet that followed the blue-and-white Air Force One, clarifying where he had been.

There have been other times in the last 30 years when Air Force One served as a decoy for the president because of a serious threat or because he was flying to a dangerous location, another U.S. official said, declining to elaborate. The legacy jet is highly secure, but also highly visible, so putting the president on an alternate plane instead can be considered safer, that former official said.

Again, in a way this feels normal, like well, if the life of the US president is under threat, they’re gonna do some trickery to keep him safe.

On the other hand, Trump doesn’t deserve the respect of the office he holds, so it is fine to make jokes about him pooping in the beverage cart in the bed of the catering truck.

Also, he is a coward who’s scared of everything, who’s building a bunker so he can hide from the fruits of his own late-stage emperor syphilis brain destruction of the world, so that is some context.

Also, Trump is currently declaring that we’ve got Iran right where we want ‘em! That we are “low-keying” it with them, letting them run out of money while we don’t attack them, you betcha! Meanwhile Iran is explaining that it’s gonna just wait to negotiate with the US until there’s somebody in office who isn’t totally braindead, let’s pencil it in for 2029 or so.

Iran’s conditions remain unchanged, including $300 billion in compensation, the release of frozen assets and the withdrawal of US forces. Tehran has also linked the reopening of the Strait of Hormuz to the acceptance of its demands.

Trump keeps lying and saying the strait is open, but, you know, it’s not. (Persian Gulf neighbors are increasingly worried Iran’s control of the strait is now permanent, thanks to the inconceivable stupidity of Donald Trump and Pete Hegseth.)

Quick, roll the president’s giant meat body into a catering cart and dump take him a secret plane so nobody can find him!

[Washington Post / News 18]

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