Why Isn't Donald Trump Yelling At These Orthodox Jews?

A group of Orthodox Jews based out of New York City decided that too much sodomy was harmful to their precious children, so they hired a group of Mexican day laborers and dressed them up like rabbis to protest in their stead. No one will ever know.

The Jewish Political Action Committee is a designated anti-LGBT hate group and has a history of protesting pride parades. They've previously argued that gay molesters are prowling the streets of New York looking to scoop up good little boys and have their ways with them (silly bigots, your friends at JONAH have that molestation gig covered) and have argued that Jewish parents should boycott libraries because they're so full to the brim with gay propaganda. Learning all that gay propaganda would make reading all the more incesty parts of the Torah kind of awkward.

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Wanting to remind all the pernicious sodomites that G-d hates them, the JPAC turned out to the NYC pride parade after the gay marriage ruling, feeling it their mitzvah to rain on everyone's, er, parade. The only problem is that with all the rampant homo-pedo-sodomy all over the place, the senior officials of the group decided their nubile youngsex-slavesinterns were not safe in this den of inquity, so they popped on over to the Home Depot, picked up some day workers, plopped some payots on their cabezas, and sent them off to do the dirty work for them:

Heshie Freed, a member of the political action committee, an Orthodox Jewish group based in Brooklyn, said that the men were supplementary troops, filling in for the Jewish students who would normally be called upon to demonstrate.

“The rabbis said that the yeshiva boys shouldn’t come out for this because of what they would see at the parade,” Mr. Freed said.

They are dead serious too. The picture included is glorious.

Do you see what you did, JPAC? You protected your boys at the cost of good old American jobs for good old American prudes! What does it say about America that even our anti-gay bigots are outsourcing their jobs to undocumented immigrants?

Prudery is one of America's oldest and most sacred institutions, dating back to before our Founding when the Pilgrims first landed on our shore -- so prudish the English kicked 'em down to the Netherlands, and then so uptight about those sinful wooden shoes (wood is the Devil's concrete) that they fled in terror to an entirely new continent. Mexicans don't have that same level of gay hate stored up inside them. They have gay weddings all over their sinful vacation destination! Prudes and Old Nags are so ingrained in our national consciousness that we give them TV shows , free fruit to throw at queer-lovers , and enough tax-free money to buy luxury private jets . Where would we as a nation be without our home-grown prudes?

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Actually we'd probably be a lot better off. Carry on, cheap bigots. Carry on.

[ New York Times / SPLC / LGBTQ Nation ]