William Jefferson and the Mystery of Congressional Corruption

Representative William Jefferson (D-LA) took a couple hundred thousand dollars in bribes from a Kentucky bussinesman and, hilariously, stashed 90 grand in the freezer. Where he surely thought no one would ever find it, because who would think to look in the freezer? We're sure that he now regrets not having picked, say, the crisper, but point is, he's screwed.

Simple enough story, right? Businessman bribes Congressman, Congressman helps businessman. We're pretty sure that's how it was laid out in our civics textbook. But there are a few things we just can't wrap our minds around. Like, how fucking stupid do you have to be to receive giant suitcases full of money from businessmen? We understand Jefferson's motive -- money, which he needed to invest in Nigerian oil contracts (just like one of those emails!), is so much easier to waste in cash form than in, say, campaign war chests or PAC funds, which are a little bit harder to get to, unless you're Rick Santorum. But the businessman, what's in it for him? Sure, he's buying influence, right? Bribery to have a congressman in his pocket -- but a) he's bribing a member of the minority party, and b) we already have a totally legal system of regularized bribery that's built right in! It's called lobbying and campaign donations! You don't need to get in trouble, no suitcases full of cash or anything!

Still, though, awesome story. Especially the part where the FBI has a video of Jeffersonhimselfmeeting an unidentified witness outside an Arlington hotel (we hope this one ) and, you know, placing a suitcase containing $100k into his waiting 1990 Lincoln Town Car. That's why you're in the lesser house, guys -- a Senator wouldneverpick up his own laundered money.

 F.B.I. Contends Lawmaker Hid Bribe in Freezer [NYT]

Photo Credit: AP