20 Comments

Thank you. I learned something. Turning off my bluetooth . . .

Expand full comment

All this election news is so depressing. Maybe next time they could just run Old Yeller on the teevee instead because that would be way more fucking cheerful.

Expand full comment

Or start voting Republican. Hey, they have a choice!

Expand full comment

They didn't tell you about the whiskey shortage, did they?

Expand full comment

We'd make a pretty nice-looking mid-sized country, at about 50M. Probably 6th or 7th largest GDP.

Expand full comment

Turning off my pho

Expand full comment

And to make it so that gun fondlers can legally walk into daycare centers while bristling with enough weaponry to storm Fallujah.

Expand full comment

They were into voter fraud before it was cool.

Expand full comment

"So please, I'm begging you, my loyal constituents -- throw me out of office! Stop me, before I run again!"

Expand full comment

Yeah, half of the Commonwealth's governors since WWII have been Republicans. It appears that party control of the governor's office in Mass. routinely changes hands every couple of elections or so.

Expand full comment

If there wasn't a lot of voter fraud reported, there can be only one possible explanation: FRAUDSTERS HACKED THE APP!!!

Expand full comment

Oh my God! Black people can look at you in Texas now? Damn you Obama!

Expand full comment

Did the woman in Texas "tsk-tsk" every time this brave American patriot selected a winger on his ballot?

Expand full comment

Yeah, so sit down and shut up!

Oh, you said <i>Christ</i>

Expand full comment

Kansas has lead the way, let's hope Nobama see the glory of Kansas. Or more accurately potential, since it has gone to hell. Just a few more years to go.

Expand full comment

"The reports were anonymous, but we bet that the voter was named “James Smith.”

My money's on "James O'Keefe."

Expand full comment