Wingnuts Are Furious About ... Not Killing That Killer Whale

Are the Christian wingnuts pretending something in the news is offensive to the Jewish Bible they stole from the Jews? Yes they are! Today's grave offense to the long-dead local deity of the Ancient Hebrews is that imprisoned whale who keeps losing his shit and killing his prison guards. You know what would teach that fucking orca a lesson?

Some group of closeted homosexuals called the "American Family Association" wants you to know that, as always, the way you deal with any problem -- especially a problem caused by your own morally repugnant behavior -- is to murder the thing that's giving you a hard time. Try it on your kids!

What about the term "killer whale" do SeaWorld officials not understand?

If the counsel of the Judeo-Christian tradition had been followed, Tillikum would have been put out of everyone's misery back in 1991 and would not have had the opportunity to claim two more human lives.

Or, you know, maybe don'tenslave your fellow intelligent mammal species, as a start, and then just blow up all the motherfucking "Sea Worlds" and any zoo that isn't run like the San Diego Wild Animal Park -- thousands of acres where the creatures can roam free and hump in the sun, etc.

FREE KILLY! [ American Family Association ]