Good Morning, wonkers! Here's some of the stories that may grace the pages of 'yer Wonkette today!
Melania Trump ripped off Michelle Obama's 2008 DNC convention speech last night, and the Trump camp is denying it . (It was absolutely plagiarized.) Just let that sink in for just a moment.
The first night of TrumpCon 2016 was a predictable shit show, from the D-List reality teevee people and the Benghazi mom , to Rudy Guiliani's shrieking hissy-fit and Michael Flynn's crowd killing ¡JEB! Bush impression .
The #NeverTrump people made their last stand, and the party bosses just steamrolled them all into obliteration.
The RNC passed its platform and it's (shockingly) the most conservative EVER , now with more private parts!
Gee whiz, John Kasich is just not at all welcome in his own state, with people calling him a loser, and saying he's " embarassing his own state ." Poor guy.
Trump was calling into teevee people while his own convention was going on. Seriously.
Trump wants the Attorney General to investigate Black Lives Matter because they're "really a threat."
When Trump finally paid attention to his own convention to introduce his wife, it was as ridiculous and absurd as you'd expect. (Christ Matthews loooved it.)
Republicans are finding all sorts of fun ways to keep cool and stay way the hell away from TrumpCon!
Virginia Republicans are attempting to block an executive order by Gov. Terry McAuliffe to restore the voting rights of 200,000 ex-offenders because they might actually vote, run for office, or serve on a jury.
Poor Merrick Garland is just sitting around having the shittiest summer stay-cation ever . The Supreme Court is now in day 125 without any moves form the Senate.
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Stephen King is a Genius, man. I reread The Stand and IT and every time, it scares me. Even when I know what's gonna happen.
CBS Online mentioned it when Trump and Melania were getting off their private jet.