Wonkette Answers: Inaugural Ball Names

Wonkette occasionally answers questions. Send yours to: . A reader writes in about next week's festivities:

The names of W's balls piss me off.  Freedom Ball?  Independence Ball?  How could you have fun at a party like that, even if Biz Markie is there?  It's just like the names of W's military operations: "Iraqi Freedom"; "Enduring Freedom."  What happed to cool names like "Rolling Thunder" and "Desert Fox"?  Right or wrong, at least we could feel like we were kicking ass.

If the question here is "how could you have fun at a party like that?" Well, you can't. And most people. You are packed in like sardines, the line for the bar is long, the drinks are short. The most fun you can have at these balls, is apparently, naming them. And we love answering a question with a question.

Is there not a bit of irony in the titles of the balls? In that, with the exception of the CIC ball, the Patriot Ball, and the Stars and Stripes ball, they're all named after things the administration seems hell-bent on eliminating? Constitution, Freedom, Liberty, Democracy, Environment and Clean Energy? What role exactly do any of those have in current GOP policy?

Perhaps they should come up with some new titles, to reflect the administration's position:

The Unfunded Mandate Ball

The Hell With International Opinion Ball

The Indefinite Detainees Ball

The Doctrine of Preemption Ball

The Clinton Did It Ball

The Legacy of the Crippling Deficit Ball

Excellent. We have just one further suggestion: "The Abu Ghraib Electrodes Attached to Your Ball."