Wonkette Party Crash: Bo Derek at Cafe Milano
Here's Bo Derek with two sleazy guys who made very clumsy passes at Liz .
Last night, Wonkette cabbed it over to Cafe Milano to hobnob with the glamorous stars of DC in what turned out to still be August. The reason? Alcohol and boredom! Oh, andCapitol Filewas hosting a party forBo Derekto help launch a new tv network fromNewsCorp!You get all that?
All the fabulous pictures (courtesy, as always, Liz Gorman, Intrepid Girl Reporter ) and half-recalled anecdotes (courtesy Maker's Mark), after the jump.
AsRoxanne Robertssaid to us, "Darlings, this is theonlyparty in Washington this week." Except she didn't say "darlings" and she meant it literally. It was the only party in Washington this week. And so it was fuckingpacked. With absolutely no one important!Bo Derekanda thousand nobodies(andPatrick Gavin!) having the time of their unimportant lives at Cafe Milano, because August is finally fucking over and the bar was as open as could be! Also, NewsCorp is launching some sort of new TV network. It looks like the trashiest thing ever (big flat-screen tvs seemed to play nothing but a catfight between Bo Derek and Morgain Fairchild on loop all night, except when they had shots of shirtless actors and a woman removing a robe), so it'll probably take off.
(Also attending: Megyn Kendall, Mort Kondracke, Laurie Duhe, and Chris Wallace. It was a NewsCorp thing.)
"Onlyyoucan prevent me from scoring tonight."
"My eyes are up here, buddy."
The night was so un-star-studded, in fact, that Liz Gorman, Intrepid Girl Reporter, got a red carpet photo. Seriously . Not that she isn't a star, of course, but she had her own camera in her purse as this picture was shot. She was on the clock, guys.
"Am I WASPy enough? I'm really not sure if I'm WASPy enough."
Hello there, Male Model! Your dark, soulless eyes helped kick the style quotient of this party up to "Omaha"!
Seth Pietras works his magic on the drunkest chick he could find.
Caught in the act of trying to draw a penis on that bald guy's head.
Capitol File's Anne Schroedertold us that we were "the mean one" at Wonkette. Now we're the only one! She was not mad, though, even though we write things like this post about her parties.
We have seldom wanted to punch a guy in face as much as we did with the one on the right.
Topics of discussion:
The attractiveness of Bo Derek. Kyra Phillips. So much Kyra Phillips. We met CNN Washington bureau chiefDavid Bohrman, who was not particularly thrilled to meet us, though he did insist that he likes blogs, and claimed to have once worked for the internet himself.
The parties of September, and how we desperately need them.
Whether Bo Derek would arrive on the back ofJosh Bolten'smotorcyle. (He didn't show.)
But yeah, Bo's lookin' good.
Also: Models! Standingvery still in the center of the room!Why? Who cares! They were from Saks or something.
These actors, whose names nobody caught, were paraded like cattle before a completely uninterested crowd of drunk, unattractive people. It was kinda fun.
The only note we wrote down all evening involved the footwear ofJohn McCaslin, and then we lost it. Gucci loafers? We can't remember. Thankfully, we found someone else's notes. All they say is "Tricia MesserschmittandEdie Emery." Both of whom were there.
Suddenly -- excitement!Jenna Bushwas there! Or, uh, atNylon. But nearby! We hurriedly and shamelessly went outin the rainto find her. But she'd left.
Goddamn, don't you really just want to punch this guy?
Here's an article that explains what this thing is that we were celebrating. We sat through the lengthy presentation and we're still unclear -- all we know is that the bartender's refused to serve us until it ended.
We attempted to take an unobtrusive photo of DC's favorite dementia-suffering dog-abuser Karen Feld asExamineremployees slowly sidled away and pretended not to know us.
We ended up closing the place, which wasn't that hard, as they kicked everyone outat ten. Come on, Washington, we know it's a Wednesday, but put a little effort into it. There was an afterparty, but that bar sounded decidedly non-open.
MyNetworkTV's Party at Cafe Milano [FishbowlDC]