Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are Better Than Digging A Ditch

Keep those waxin' machines humming?

Happy Weekend!

How are you guys doing? I am swell, except for the fact that I am being followed around by the song "Car Wash." No word of a lie, I heard it when I was in line at the airport Dunkin' the other day, then I heard it tonight when I was out to dinner, and then I clicked on this random link in the The Dark Depths of YouTube subreddit and was brought to this ... thing. I don't understand it. People with blue faces who are not Blue Man Group people are wearing hazmat suits and washing buses to a Christina Aguilera cover of "Car Wash" that I was not aware existed. I think they're Dutch, because the title of the video is "Zeep 'sop' Gezopen," which Google informs me translates to "Soapy soap!" in Dutch. But also "gezopen" by itself translates to "drunk." So that tracks.

Zeep 'Sop' Gezopen!    www.youtube.com 

I'm just so very confused.

Anyway, here are your top ten stories of the week!

10. Wonkette Weekend Live Chat V. The Criminal Justice System 

9. THAT'S RIGHT YOU TAKE THOSE F*CKIN YACHTS 

8. CPAC Stars Show Off Firm Grasp Of 'What Socialism Is' 

7. Is That The Old Handsome Joe Biden State Of The Union? Well TURN IT UP! 

6. Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Demon Semen! 

5. Grown-Up Tough Guy Ron DeSantis Stands Up To Masked High School Bullies, Doesn't Even Start To Cry 

4. Trump Vomits Out Some Nonsense About Making NATO Great Again 

3. Looks Like Devin Nunes Hitched Himself To A Broken Cow 

2. MTG Has Absolutely No Idea Who White Nationalist Standing Next To Her Even Is 

1. Who Bought Wonkette 10 Years Ago Today? JUST ME! 

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