Happy weekend!
Today is the coronation of King Charles, which I actually thought had already happened for some reason. Personally I feel like the monarchy is bizarre and pointless — although I did have a theory at one point that if we had a monarchy, we probably would have had a female president by now, though I forget how that one went.
Anyway, I'm feeling super lazy, so here is a livestream of the coronation. Please to enjoy all of the people marching with giant "Not My King" and "Abolish the Monarchy" sign.
LIVE: King Charles' Coronation procession from Buckingham Palace to Westminster Abbey www.youtube.com
And here are your top ten stories of the week!
10. Giggly Weirdo Tucker Dying To Know If Ladies Do Pillow Fights In The Potty, TEE HEE HEE!
9. Congratulations On Your CPAC Speaking Slot, Subway Vigilante Choke Hold Killer Guy
8. WonkTV: Tucker Carlson Unemployment Celebration Special Part 1
7. Happy May Day! Let's Talk About Some Awesome Ladies Of The Labor Movement
6. Comedic Duo of Roy Wood Jr And Dark Brandon Dazzle White House Correspondents Dinner
5. Sam Alito Is The Pettiest Bitch Alive
4. Proud Boys To Start Working On Applications To Join Aryan Brotherhood
3. Manly Army Guy Ben Shapiro Knows Why Recruitment Numbers Are Down, It's The Damned Drag Queens Again
2. Kimberly Guilfoyle Selling Sheets Now, For Sleeping With StinkHair McMoistBodies Like Don Jr.
1. QAnon Momfluencer Convicted Of Falsely Claiming Craft Enthusiasts Tried To Kidnap Her Kids
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Not from what I could see, but it was raining in London (what news!).
Talking his way into jail; just daring us to put him there.