Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are Taking The Cheap Way Out

Come read them!

Hello!

What present have I got for you this week? WHELL. I came really close to dropping a video featuring some weird ramblings from this particularly wacky fella John Todd who used to hang out with Jack Chick and, as such, was a "Satanist" turned Christian turned convicted rapist and child molester — largely because I honestly am looking for more information about him, as I am compiling some information on the genesis of much of today's conspiracy bullshit. For reasons! Sadly the only book I can find about him is out of print and costs like $500 on Amazon.

BUT INSTEAD, I am being nice and gifting you this lovely compilation of prank calls to a Christian country public access show. You're welcome!

Christian Public Access Prank Calls    www.youtube.com 

That is certainly ... quite the mustache.

And here are your top ten stories of the week!

10. What Is Truth? Nobel Prize Winner Herschel Walker Not So Sure 

9. 'Pro-Life' Texas Set To Execute Innocent Mother Of 14, Because Of How Much They Love Life 

8. Wonkette Weekend Live Chat Straddles The Line In Discord And Rhyme 

7. Conspiracy Sites Once Again Insisting Dems Want To Legalize Murder Of Newborn Babies 

6. Trump Rally Speakers Proclaim He's Still President, Caught Bin Laden, Invented Post-Its 

5. But What Are The Nice And Good And Non-Horribles Saying About Ketanji Brown Jackson? 

4. SCOTUS Did A Good Thing For Civil Rights?! 

3. Tulsi Gabbard Pretty Sure 'Woke Sexual Values' Cause Low Reading Scores. She Just Knows This. 

2. So Adam Kinzinger Seems Pissed 

1. Lauren Boebert Wants People To Wait Until 21 To Declare A Gender Or Sexual Orientation 

Did reading these stories give you a sudden urge to shower us with money and jewels? If so, you can join our Patreon, or buy our merch, or do your Amazon shopping through our link, or even send a check in the mail to

Wonkette

PO Box 361

Polson MT 59860

or use this handy widget below! Just click the amount you want to donate, click one-time or monthly, and then be sure to click "Paypal" if you are Paypal or "Stripe" if you don't have Paypal, or your money will not go through!