Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are Very, Very Spooky

Come read them!

Hello and welcome to the weekend!

For Halloween reasons, your present this week is a whole ass movie. It is in fact a movie I only found out about last week, as the result of a Rona Jaffe-related discussion right here in the Wonkette comments section. It is called Mazes and Monsters and it is a made-for-TV movie starring Tom Hanks as an at-least-30-year-old college student who gets just a little too into a Dungeons and Dragons-type game.

It is my new favorite movie and it has everything . Mazes, monsters, caves, captivating interior design choices, Fair Isle sweaters, a character whose main schtick is that he wears a ton of different hats, plot holes, murder, fine leather goods, an extremely multifaceted Fred from Scooby-Doo type fella, a very shallow understanding of mental illness, the Twin Towers, pre-Satanic Panic Dungeons and Dragons fear-mongering and a cop who knows it isn't just a game.

Mazes and Monsters film USA original    www.youtube.com 

You are welcome.

And here are your top ten stories of the week!

10. Some Asshole Whining Again 

9. Here Are The Deleted NSFW Scenes From Dinesh D'Souza's Sex Book About The 2,000 Mules! 

8. Fake Georgia Robocalls Thank Dems For Imaginary 'Up Until Birth' Abortions 

7. Genius Trump Lawyer Says Trump Can't Wait To Testify To January 6 Committee During Infrastructure Week 

6. Would YOU Pass Florida Governor Ron DeSantis' First Date Test? 

5. Justice Department Announces China Crackdown, Wingnuts Furiously Revise Anti-Biden Scripts 

4. Charlie Kirk Breaks Longstanding Silence On Racial Issues 

3. QAnon Kook: Angel Of Death Coming To Kill Democrats, Cancel Student Loan Debt 

2. Ron Johnson WELL AWARE Of Kids Using Litterboxes, Nothing Gets Past This Guy 

1. We Wish We Were Half As Fierce As This Tennessee Mom Throwing Out The Homophobic Christian Trash 

Did reading these stories give you a sudden urge to shower us with money and jewels? If so, you can join our Patreon, or buy our merch, or do your Amazon shopping through our link.

You can even send us paper checks to

Wonkette

PO Box 38273

Detroit MI 48238

OR use this handy widget below! Just click the amount you want to donate, click one-time or monthly, and then be sure to click "Paypal" if you are Paypal or "Stripe" if you don't have Paypal, or your money will not go through!