Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Will Steal Your Heart And Your Cat

Come read them!

Hello!

This week I bring you the ABC Afterschool Special, Portrait of a Teenage Shoplifter staring some guy named Allen Fawcett, who I don't know and Maureen Teefy, from Fame and Grease 2 , who I maintain really should have been in a lot of other things. Grease 2 was highly underrated and, I maintain, actually better and more true to the ensemble spirit of the original Broadway show than the original Grease movie. Plus it had Lorna Luft! Lorna Luft! 

Okay, I'm gonna shut up about Grease 2 now, which you should know makes this the shortest defense of Grease 2 I have ever given. Here is your present!

Portrait of a Teenage Shoplifter 1981    youtu.be 

And here are your top ten stories of the week!

10. So It Seems Like There's A Coup Happening In Russia? 

9. Charter School Fails To Convince SCOTUS That Girls Are 'Fragile Vessels' Who Must Wear Skirts 

8. Did Stephen Miller Want To Bomb Migrants? Did Trump Talk About [REDACTED] Ivanka? This Book Says Yep And UGH. 

7. Wonk TV: A Very Different Kind Of Retail Therapy 

6. Why Is Roseanne Trending Today? 

5. 'Fashion Influencers' Go On SHEIN Sponsored Trip To Fake Factory, Report Everything Great 

4. Trump Maybe About To Get 30 Or 45 Bonus Indictments For Being Suuuuuuuch A Good Criminal 

3. Trixie Mattel Reminds Us Who's Sexually Abusing Kids, And It's Not Drag Queens (It's Conservative Christians) 

2. Pizza Canceled, Has To Go To Rainbow Bridge With Gas Stoves And Farting Cows 

1. Greg Abbott Praises Good Texans Of 'Hambriston' For Teaching Woke Garth Brooks A Lesson 

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