Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten Promises Healthier, Shinier Hair

For you, or someone else.

Happy Saturday!

How's tricks? This is a very lovely and beautiful Saturday morning and I am thrilled to bring you all the news that that hard candy I like is coming back in style.

Bitch the way I just jumped off this couch!! 🙌🏾 https: //t.co/PuirRXtdrp

— (introducing Pamela Long) (@(introducing Pamela Long)) 1630042167.0 

I am just so happy I could cry. Creme Savers were the most perfect purse candy of all time (they beat out the strawberry candies where the wrapper looks like a strawberry in my personal rankings based on packaging alone — far better lint protection from the Creme Savers), and it is practically a war crime that they were discontinued. Glad to see them back, have fingers crossed for the strawberry cheesecake flavor, which was art. It is honestly going to be incredibly difficult for me to care about literally anything else today.

Here are your top ten posts of the week! You are welcome!

10. Greenville SC Citizen Gives School Board Master Class In How To dO yOuR oWn rEsErAch — Evan

9. Voters Probably Won't Punish Democrats If They Act More Like Cary Grant And Harrison Ford — Stephen

8. Genius Bodybuilders Canceling Arnold Schwarzenegger For BECAUSE THEY'RE MAD AT HIM, OK? — Evan

7. Herschel Walker Moves Back To Georgia, Decides To Run For Senate, Sure Why Not — Liz

6. Congress In Rare Bipartisan Agreement On Hating Dem Rep. Seth Moulton Right Now — Evan

5. Woman Claims Vaccines Are A Secret Plot To Make Us Glow Under Black Light — Robyn

4. Joe Biden, What Did You Do In The Forever War? — Rebecca

3. Weird Few Days For InfoWars — Evan

2. PSA: Don't Go Taking Horse Pills Unless You Are Literally A Horse, Which You Probably Are Not — Robyn

1. Trump Booed At Own Rally, Some Supporters Think He Did It On Purpose — Robyn

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