Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten Has Something Bonkers To Show You

Plus, you know, our most popular articles. And a cat.

Hello! It's the weekend! Which means that many of you are not working, while I slave away on a hot laptop all day. I hope you're pleased with yourselves.

Oh! Can I show you something terrible before we get our top ten on? So my sister and I were at Marshall's last night, as we are wont to do after barre class. Marshall's, though we love it, has an absolutely obscene amount of Rae Dunn merchandise. You know, that lady who is probably making a bajillion dollars off of one font for the "Live, Laugh, Love" crowd? I thought I found the worst thing earlier this week when I found Rae Dunn nail wraps , one of which literally says "Blessed," but no. No. It's not the worst thing.

This is.

She must be stopped. https: //t.co/2lZFsISn1I

— Robyn Pennacchia (@Robyn Pennacchia) 1626480711.0 

Now, I realize this is an astrological sign thing, but come the fuck on. CANCER PAJAMAS? Really?

I just needed to share that because honestly I am never going to stop thinking about it. But you can, because now you get to read your TOP TEN stories of the week and think about those instead.

Let's go!

10. Trump Is Escalating — An evergreen headline, from Evan

9. Captain America's Dream Has Always Been The Conservative Nightmare — I sincerely appreciate that Stephen writes about comic book stuff in a way that I, a person who has absolutely no idea about comic book stuff, can understand.

8. Joe Biden Just Gave A Damn Good Voting Rights Speech — It WAS a good speech. From Evan.

7. Matt Gaetz Hates When FBI Asks People To Tattle, Huh, Wonder Why — Seems like there is probably a reason for that. From Evan

6. Texas Dems Taking Surprise Field Trip To DC To Show 'Em How Democracy Works — Good for them! Also remember when that one Republican guy was all "Look at these fancypants elites on their private plane!" that was obviously a bus? Because that was hilarious. From Liz

5. LGBTQ-Hating GOPer In Trouble After Doling Out Bad Cunnilingus Advice On TikTok — I wrote this and honestly had blocked it out until now. YEESH.

4. Loser Trump Crawling Up Walls And Chewing The Furniture, It's Pretty Great — ANOTHER evergreen headline from Evan.

3. Democrats Have Crazy Idea: How About Ending Poverty For Disabled And Elderly Americans? — Dok

2. We Must Discuss This Bonkers 7 Point Plan To Re-Install Trump Going Around CPAC — From me. I actually watched the second, longer video after publishing this and let me assure you that it is equally batshit.

1. California Gov. Gavin Newsom, Joe Biden, All Dems, Wonkette: Give EVERYBODY EAT! — Food for everyone! From Rebecca!

That last one was also a moneybeg, so it seems excessive to include all of that information on how to give us your hard earned dollars, but I'm gonna copy and paste it on here anyway.

Did reading these stories give you a sudden urge to shower us with money and jewels? If so, you can join our Patreon, or buy our merch, or do your Amazon shopping through our link, or even send a check in the mail to

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