Wonkette's Top 10 Is Teaching You Wifely Submission!
Sure we are, absolutely.
Good morning friends of love! Are we all in our places with bright shining faces? No, you are red wine paloma hangover drunk? That does sound like you, except for our sober friends who have already had their share for this go-around and are giving everyone else their chance. (Very thoughtful!)
Well, gather 'round, it is time to reach into this vaccine lottery ball with Gavin Newsom and pull out our top 10 stories of the week!
10. Dan Crenshaw Launches 'Woke Ideology' Whistleblower Site For Military Crybabies . This was fucking rich, and if you haven't read it, you should read it!
9. Insipid Cartoon Children Have Time Travel Adventure With Ronald Reagan . I have not read this, I should read it.
8. Mike Lindell Admits He Probably Sold Trump That Pillow Of Goods About Re-Becoming President In August . To whom would you listen if not He of Pillows?
7. One America News Celebrates Gay Pride By WHAT ABOUT WHITE HISTORY MONTH? They are really dumb jerks.
6. Angie Died A Week Ago . Hi Heather. We love you.
5. Anti-Vax Creep Facing Swift Consequences For Selling Nazi-Inspired Yellow Stars . Sigh.
4. Newsmax Marine Greg Kelly Had Near Miss At The Daiye Spa . D-A-I-Y-E. Day.
3. Time For Fun New Game, 'Did Your Wonkette Donation Expire'! Oh you think just because you get a thank you note ALMOST every single month that your donation is going through? LOL.
2. Memorial Day 2021: This Year Maybe The Summer Won't Suck . Well, if SER says so. I have my suspicions, and they are "bad people and lunatics." I'm a tiny depressed!
1. Christian Lady Concerned Satanic Feminist Agenda Not Teaching Wifely Submission . It is like that lady has never even seen Secretary .
And there you have it! Our top 10 stories of the week! Now remember to go check whether your donation to Wonkette is still going through (it might show up on your card as "Commie Girl Industries," do you think the Montana secretary of state loves our corporate name so much?), or to start one up if you are able! You can join our Patreon, or buy our merch, or do your Amazon shopping through our link, or even send a check in the mail to
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Donna rose models Wonkette's NRA = WEAK SAD POOP shirt, and lipstick!
Dorothy Dandridge I mean my granddaughter Tallulah and her Radical Dadical.
Oh look they are submissive now, must have got their BRAINZZZ.
GOODBYE!
I don't know if I mentioned it, but the business is touted as operating on a 24/7 basis. I didn't know that when I got hired on and only found out a few days ago that the new boss has been covering that aspect of it all on his own for several months. I'm presuming that previous employees who are no longer there also did on some sort of rotation basis amongst them.
Anyway, thanks!
I keep telling people WKRP was a documentary, but for some reason they won’t believe me.