Wonkette's Week in Review: News and Jokes

* "Oh my goodness!" The president narrowly survived an assassination attempt.

* Wolfowitz paid an Arab girl to sleep with him. He was very busted and, in spite of rioting Bank employees and many twists and turns, Wolfowitz is still a happy political appointee, and not at all fired. 

* Jack Abramoff will be let our of prison early -- just in time to steal your income tax returns and rape your mom in the alley next to Checkers.

* The plot of Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde became reality.

* If you haven't been paying any attention to any of the Second Life bullshit, one photo tells it all.

* Vonnegut lived about a dozen years longer than the average American male, due to his "chain-smoking and rage and beach house."

* The Politico found a recipe for media success when they made the forward thinking decision to fire all of their twenty-something reporters in favor of even more self-satisfied baby boomers.

* Finally, a legitimate reason to bring a beer bottle into the bedroom.