Welcome to another Saturday in Trump's America. If you're reading this you're probably safe from fire and flood, or we hope you are, because we love you. And the others! We love the others too! But mostly you because you are the raddest.
Hey let's read some stories! Chosen this week by a suckling of pigs.
10. Military Brass Doesn't Love Trump Saying All They Wanna Do Is Sh*t, F*ck And Fight . Hey you know how the third parties this year are extremely irrelevant? Well, they're polling at 12 percent in the military because GUESS WHO CAN'T BRING THEMSELVES TO VOTE FOR TRUMP.
9. Violent Trump Supporters Gather In Oregon For Stupid Bigot Convention . It's true. They did.
8. Donald Trump Never Said 'Vote Twice,' He Said 'Boat Mice' . It's not true. He didn't.
7. Let's Talk About Some Awesome Ladies Of The Labor Movement! Oh I love this post all the years. Thank you Robyn.
6. Boogaloo Bois Arrested For Trying To Join Up With Hamas . Must have been the weekend, because I missed the shit out of this post. And I'm fine with that!
5. Trump's Debate Plan? Try To Make Biden Stutter. Because These People Are FILTH. Why prep for a debate when you can utter a SECRET HEX that will make Joe Biden's head explode like a malfunctioning Austin Powers fembot? Doesn't that seem like a lot less work?
4. Wonkette Labor Day Weekend Movie Party: 1954's 'Salt of the Earth' . Don't know what this was, I was resting! From my labors!
3. QAnon Candidate Just Posing With Huge Gun Next To The Squad, What's Wrong With That? THIS IS ALL FINE!
2. Mighta Been Nice To Have Trump On Tape Admitting He Was Lying About Coronavirus Back In February, BOB . It might have, BOB.
1. Trump Wants Fox Reporter Who Confirmed Atlantic Story Fired For Hurting His Wee Feelings . And how did Fox News respond? Not by standing up for their reporter, that is for fucking sure.
And there you have it, the top 10 Wonkette stories this week as chosen by a suckling of pigs!
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Ima make my good son put that smiling old Joe on a face mask, you see if I don't.
Okay, now that you have done all those things, if you are able, it is picture time hooray!
Halloween queen and Halloween princess
Halloween commoners
There you have it, and by you I mean me and by have it I mean SEE YOU SUCKERS I HAVE HAD IT!
GOODBYE!
The best MLB team in New York is the Blue Jays.
It's not my favorite place.