Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is SCARY MONSTERS!

Us and David Bowie, you dig?

If I'd known you were coming, I'd have baked a cake, OF COURSE I knew you were coming, WHY DO I LIE?????

Anyway, have some goddamn top 10 stories of the week as chosen this week by a werepack of werewolves, aoooooo.

10. Rand Paul Shouted To Death On Streets Of DC, Recovers In Time To Describe Martyrdom To Fox & Friends . He got better.

9. New Hampshire 'Macho Man' Trumpist Casually Suggests Reporter Watch Out For Bombs . I didn't see this one, I must have had the day off.

8. White House Doc Says Trump's Sexxx Body Bangin' As Ever (BLINK TWICE IF KNIFE TO HEAD, DUDE) . Sorry : *(

7. Is Another One Of Trump's 'All The Best People' About To Be Indicted? He lawyer-lettered us once, and it wasn't even a fake lawyer letter like Bradlee Dean or Larry Klayman, it was a really professional one that scared me and I made Evan change some words. If I recall, the lawyer letter was about "you just accused him of crime doing," and well huh looks like we just did again.

6. What's This? Coronavirus Is Still Here? The Deuce You Say! That can't be right.

5. Joe Biden Helpfully Reminds Donald Trump Who's President, What Day It Is, Which One Is 'Camel' . He is a helpful old fella, that Old Handsome Joe.

4. If Trump Org Can Charge Secret Service $4,000 For 'Resort Fees,' Yeah. It's Gonna Do That. THIS IS ENTIRELY NEW INFORMATION!

3. Who The Hell Is The Target Market For This Election 2020 Chess Set? I don't know what this one was either.

2. NO MINI-STROKES! NO MINI-STROKES! OOPS, DID I JUST SAY MINI-STROKES? He did. He just said mini-strokes.

1. Trump Retweets Covidiot's Bizarre Claim That 'Only 6%' Of COVID-19 Deaths Are Real . Joni Ernst's in on the game too now.

And there you have it, this week's top 10 stories as chosen by a werepack of werewolves.

Lula and Donna Rose, WEREWOLVES (and werebears) 

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