Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is Shocked, Shocked Or What Is The Opposite Of That?

You come read your top 10 stories right now!

Well, we had a week, eh? As opposed to all the other weeks for the past four years, but still, really, A WEEK! Some good things happened! We were so happy! Also the rest of it. So come in, come in, and check in with Wonkette's top 10 stories as chosen by a horde of ... nope, fuck those guys. They were just chosen, okay?

10. Well Of Course The Nashville Bomber Was A Lizard People Guy . VIOLENT delusional CONSPIRACY THEORISTS? Well I always!

9. Nation Waits On Results Of Big Georgia Public Service Commission Vote, Also Senate Runoff . Oh that funny Dok.

8. Trumpists Storm Capitol At Behest Of Dear Leader . "Fight, strong, love you," said the president, before he refused to let the National Guard come to the aid of the Congress.

7. Trump To Special Insurrecting People's Club: Stand Down, Stand By. Wonkette To YOU: Hang In There, Baby! See above.

6. John Lewis Is Your 2020 — And Forever — Legislative Badass . New Year's Eve was barely a week ago, you guys. Did you know?

5. Awkward! Proud Boys And Cops Have Very Public Breakup . And that was before this very public breakup!

4. Here Is Your Coup After Dark Liveblog! Or, Hopefully, The Opposite Of That . Liveblog.

3. Liveblogging What Should Be Democracy's Most Boring Day But Isn't Because Donald Trump Is A Crybaby Loser . Liveblog.

2. Mitt Romney Wants To Teach Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley How They Take Out The Trash In Utah. Yall see Romney's BLUE STEEL? Weird right?

1. White House Staffers SHOCKED SHOCKED To Find Their Boss Is A Homicidal Maniac . Yes, we're all quite sad for the Trump staffers, very sad, sad, sad I say!

And there you have it, Wonkette's top 10 stories as just chosen. Now for the weekly reminder that Wonkette is HERE for YOU, without any ads, without any vulture capital funding, just our darling terrible ones sticking money on our faces so we can CONTINUE the ... things ... that we DO.

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