Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Just Lying Around Watching Our Ass Grow

Come read your top 10 stories right now! Or later. Honestly, there's no rush.

Hi loves, it's me again with your trusty Wonkette's Weekly Top 10! What will it be this time? Stories about nice things that are happy and people who are good? You shut your dirty fucking mouth. Here, para ustedes, are the top 10 stories as chosen by ... ghosts. Ghosts chose them. Makes as much sense as any other fucking thing this week.

10. What Are Tinfoil Hatters Saying About Coronavirus? Oh, Just Normal Stuff. Robyn keeping tabs on totally normal for you!

9. Italian Tenor Serenades Florence With Lovely Aria About Wanting To Marry A Very Murder-y Princess . Forget to read this one? READ IT NOW. Robyn breaks down the totally normal opera for you, it's great!

8. Good Lord, Is He Going To Crash The Market Every Day With These Batsh*t Pressers? Liz is appalled. Or is she TWO PALLEDS? I fire me for the crime of Dad joke.

7. Wonkette Recommendations For STAY THE F*CK AT HOME, Starting With STAY THE F*CK AT HOME! That was Evan. He recommended some stuff. Like STAY THE F*CK AT HOME.

6. Trump Hates Jared Now, Oh Poop! Oh poop indeed.

5. How Presidential Is Trump Right Now, On A Scale Of One To 'STFU, Dana Bash'? ARGHHHHHHHH.

4. Your Weekend Dose Of Coronavirus. Coronavirus NEWS, That Is! Lol?

3. A Truth Sandwich On Barack Obama's 2009 Swine Flu Response, For President Gateway Pundit . More truth sandwiches Dok, fewer shit sandwiches. Hey, I like it: FEWER SHIT SANDWICHES 2020!

2. How Fast Can Trump Tank The Markets This Time? Let's Liveblog His Coronavirus Conference And Find Out! Turns out? Pretty darn fast.

1. Me:  I Am Worried About My Mom . : (

It's been a week for the fucking world, huh? Be as kind as you can, there's no end yet in sight. Peace out, this glass of wine and bath aren't going to drink and or take themselves.

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