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JodyJane's avatar

This is my fave collard greens recipe and I make it every year! We adjust it for our needs (meat averse kid doesn’t mind flavor but won’t eat the actual meat, and we don’t have alcohol in the house anymore) but it’s always excellent!

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beb's avatar

Cook for 8 hours> Mygawd, this isn't cooking; this is a marathon.

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Fred's avatar

porto? is that like port wine?

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

That elviouslyqueer. He really pulled himself up by his bootstraps, didn't he?

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Michael Dorsey's avatar

I have an ex who grew up on "the bald prairie" in Harrison, TX, which is now a suburb of Houston. She taught me cook, eat, and love collard greens. I was surprised when I moved to the Seattle area, to discover that they grow great out here. Bonus is the local insect pests don't seem to have much of an idea what they are and mostly leave them alone. For my vegetarian kids I cook them in vegetable broth. I add cider vinegar that is the happy end result of brewing too much hard cider every year. The odd weather this year kept us from getting a lot of tomatoes, but for some reason I had a bumper crop of cayenne, so that's my go to pepper now, and when I serve myself I just add some of that bacon fat sitting in tupperware at the back of the fridge.

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Fred's avatar

we keep our bacon fat (cuz, DUH) as well. bacon fat biscuits are ACE.u

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Zyxomma's avatar

No (vegan) collard greens this year. We have green beans and Brussels sprouts.

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RRJKR's avatar

"Greens: of any sort should never be boiled to death Simply sauté in olive oil and garlic, finish with balsamic vinegar or lemon or both. Then be prepared for the explosion of complex flavors,

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Michael Dorsey's avatar

That's great if you pick your collards young, but when you have them in the garden the normal routine is to let them keep growing all season, and to pick a few leaves at a time. By the time they're fully mature, collards can be pretty tough and need a lot of cooking, as well as de-veining.

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Always Be Ithacating's avatar

I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it is to grow collard greens in your garden in Southern New England. They have a very long continuous harvest, like most brassicas don't mind a bit of cold at all, and maybe just need a little row cover when they're young and flea beetles are about.

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Sgt JMK's avatar

Collard greens seem to form a fairly large part of my CSA farmer's "brassica bunch" because, as he once told me, they're "sturdy and reliable" here on Lawn Guyland.

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¡No me jodas!'s avatar

Yum!

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Sherry's avatar

I made collards regularly and add other greens like beet greens, carrot greens and curly kale. We can get a huge bag of them already chopped. I simply sauté a chopped onion and toast some of the Better Than Bouillon veggie broth before adding some water to essentially steam them a little. On occasion I will add bacon grease. They are eaten all week but also added to other dishes like pasta or a frittata.

Growing up my friends warned me about collards being nasty. I feel a little cheated now because they are my very favorite green to cook up. Wished I had tried them sooner than this last year!

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Michael Dorsey's avatar

Traditional Southerners add some vinegar, and once you do that they are acidic enough for water bath canning, so you have them year round.

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Joe Bacon's avatar

Damn right!

EVERY BLEEPING THING IS BETTER WITH BACON!!!

🤗

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Larry Schmitt's avatar

At this rate he will retire undefeated as the stupidest fucking person in the Senate. And also too a traitor. https://bsky.app/profile/ronfilipkowski.bsky.social/post/3lbwwhhub7s2i

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Caesar's horse? Looking better and better each day.

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Sgt JMK's avatar

Well, to be fair... he's just a little confused about which one he works for.

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C&A Bongo Man's avatar

I was unknowingly eating collard greens for years, before learning that the Sukuma Wiki that Mrs Bongo makes so well is a similar thing.

Here's a recipe. Not sure about the cumin.

https://togetherwomenrise.org/recipes/kenyan-kale-and-tomatoes-sukuma-wiki/

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

There'll be cumin on the rye.

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Fred's avatar

have you listened to pdq bach? lulz!

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I went to the PDQ Bach concert every year in college.

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NewLarry's avatar

Sounds delicious! I printed the recipe.

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Snarkrates's avatar

And I've posted this before, but here's the Thai cabbage salad--simple and delicious.

Chop up a small onion--doesn't matter how fine, you'll be pounding the hell out of it in a mortar and pestle anyway. Same with the garlic--4-6 cloves. Sauté onions--either dry or very little oil until translucent. Add garlic and cook until soft. If you like your onions carmelized, add a couple of tbsp water, as this breaks down the cell walls and frees the sugars and sauté until golden. Put onion/garlic mixture into a pestle. Add hot chiles to taste and about 3-4 tbsp of sugar (to taste). Pound the living hell out of all of it--visualize Stephen Miller's face while your doing it if it helps. Add a quarter cup of lemon juice and a quarter cup of fish sauce. Pound again until well mixed. Slice cabbage a la coleslaw and pour the above dressing over the top. Serve with roasted, salted peanuts.

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It'sAllYourFoucault's avatar

I have all of these ingredients. I'm making this tomorrow, thanks!

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Snarkrates's avatar

In the Brazilian state of Minas Gerais, they make a collardish dish, called couve--very simple.

Stack the leaves that don't have a hard stem and roll them into a cylinder. Slice perpendicular to the cylinder axis. For leaves with a hard stem, tear along the stem on either side and repeat the rolling and slicing. Chop LOTS of garlic and sauté in olive oil until softened but still a little crunchy. Add 3 tbsp beer and paprika or cayenne (depending on how spicy you like your greens) and salt to taste. Let steam until the alcohol has evaporated and greens are semi-soft. Drizzle lime juice over before serving.

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Kira Thomsen-Cheek's avatar

O. M. G. That sounds utterly insane and I am making it as soon as I get back to Iowa where I can find collards!!!!!! (swoons)

Silly Brits don’t seem to have them. At least not anywhere I shop. :-(

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Snarkrates's avatar

Read an article about the "renaissance of British cuisine". It was all about Indian, Pakistani, Sri Lankan and other food from refugees coming from the commonwealth. The thing that has always amazed me. Britain left much better infrastructure than did other colonizing nations (hell, the Belgians even ripped up the copper phone lines when they left), but they're much more hated than the French. I think it's because at least the French left a decent cuisine, whereas the Brits left meat pies made with offal.

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🍁 L Ron Pony's avatar

I miss salads, but until they get around to telling me how much my new teeth will cost I am stuck.

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